Monday, July 17, 2017

The Comic That Ended the Silver Age #3: Gettin' Crazy

When last we left Snapper Carr and his back-up group, the Justice League of America, 

Batman had inexplicably extricated himself from the death-trap that populist demagogue John Dough had placed him, forgiven Dough and Snapper, and brought invitations to the JLAers to a public debate over abnormal superheroes versus ordinary people.

Do ordinary, average people have death-traps lying around? I guess they do in the DCU.  Probably part of the real estate listings: "good school system, nearby public transportation, with two-person death-trap."

What does it all mean?!?!?

My GOD, John Dough is actually ETHAN HUNT!

Don't believe everything you see on television because that's FAKE NEWS!  That 'Batman' is really John Dough in DISGUISE!  Fortunately Batman is in the slowest-acting death-trap ever, because it's still going on (presumably) hours later when thousands show up for the anti-JLA debate at Golden Stadium.

It's never clear in what city anything is happening in a JLA story, but if that's in Gotham City, I guaranteed the stadium is ACTUALLY made of gold.  And that at some point, the Icicle stole it before the JSA made him put it back.

Just to make sure that crowd is on edge and ready to rumble, John Dough has rented a portable Psycho-Pirate machine to screw with their heads:

That is why you left him with a teevee in the slowest death-trap ever, right, John?

This is where it gets NASTY. Dough has Snapper make the case against the JLA, which is a viciously embarrassing tactic by Dough. If notorious nationally-known super-suck-up Snapper Carr can recognize the danger inherent in the JLA, then, why, shouldn't everyone?!  

Man, dig that damning declamatory discourse!

Then it starts to get skeevy in the stands as palookas enviously ogle Black Canary in the closest late '60s comics can get to portraying sexual harassment:

Is it blaming the victim to note that she IS wearing a cigarette girl outfit and a leather jacket to a public debate?

Black Canary being Black Canary, however, simply beats the snot of out of them in a distinctly unlady-like manner.

"Jeez, lady, all we said was 'you're in great shape'!"

This starts a riot, which the JLA can't stop because Dough's mind-whammy machine rendered them confused and incompetent.

Or, in some cases, MORE confused and incompetent.

The JLA is forced to retreat, police have to stop the unrest, and the Senate calls for hearings on Dough's accusations that the JLA caused the riot.  Phew! A populist demagogue posing as the champion of ordinary people whips up a stadium full of his judgement-impaired followers to the point of violence!  Thank god I live on Earth-Prime where such a thing could never happen. Except during presidential elections.


No wonder Dough got rid of Batman; this is what happens to the JLA when Batman's not around to keep them from stepping on rakes.  

Speaking of Batman, shouldn't he be dead by now? No, of course not; he's had about 127 hours to macguyver his way out of Dough's makeshift deathtrap, which he finally does:

Trump. THERE's a shock.
I guess we now know who build the Golden Stadium.
What better way to broadcast fake news?

Batman goes RIGHT to the Senate hearings (because shit happens FAST in the DCU) and unmasks Joe Dough as an impostor. Dough creates a dangerous diversion so he can escape, which Green Lantern handles in the easiest way possible:  putting the Senate into suspended animation.

In the immortal words of Dorothy Parker: how can you tell?

After Dough has escaped and order is restored, the JLA confronts Snapper and his lame excuses.

If only Snapper had started talking like a normal person WITHOUT having to betray the JLA first.

And then Green Arrow -- dirty stinking pinko commy hippy dumb-ass Green Arrow -- lets fly with the piercing Truth Arrow.

Ollie Queen for Mayor started RIGHT HERE, people.

Tomorrow, Batman and the League confront Dough at the JLA's secret sanctuary, where there are revelations and reckonings.


Anonymous said...

I am going to look for excuses to hold my head and say: "Feeling ... slow and stupid --!"

... or by "Slow and Stupid," is Superman referring to Hal and Ollie?

Speaking of Hal, it's probably not too long before Denny O'Neill does the classic bit about helping blue skins and white skins and etc, which completely contradicts what GA said in this story. Some people have a talent for appealing to the decency in mankind; others are well-suited to make giant green hands and toilet plungers to save the city from meteor storms. Let Hal do his (ugh) world-saving and leave the cultural advancement to other people.

SallyP said...

I am...stunned that Ollie is actually the voice of reason in this particular caper. He... he hasn't called Hal a Nazi once!

Reno said...

Was the death trap supposed to be poison gas? Then why did Dough give Batman a gas mask?

Slaughter said...

Green Arrow forgetting about his arrows is like the synopsis of Arrow Season Four right there,