Thursday, April 07, 2016

Green Arrow; Wanted, In His Stupid Face, Repeatedly.

So, even Green Arrow is bright enough to realize when you are a wanted man a big yellow jet labelled "ARROWPLANE" is ...non-ideal.  So he stashes it at public airfield, because Ollie's a millionaire of the people.  

But don't worry; he's STILL too good to sign autographs.

He's set upon and captured by a group of identically dressed goons who talk way way way too much, and, who because they don't watch the CW, are surprised that Ollie can fight.

I hate these people.  I hate how they look and how they talk and how much they talk.
I hate every word Denny O'Neil has ever written or even thought and possibly heard.

Truly, goons should be seen and not heard.


Add 'citizens' to the list of 1001 Ways to Defeat Green Arrow.  Oh, speaking of "please shut up", note that the captions boxes from this era -- when writers like O'Neil were trying to be 'cool' and imitating Marvel -- are unbearably stupid (without conveying any necessary information):

Anyway, Bruce and Barry (who are, after all, the smart ones), go to the morgue and identify the corpse of the man who Green Arrow has been framed for killing: The Tattooed Man.  They don't identify him by just looking his face (and that stupid sailing cap that you KNOW they left on his corpse) and saying, "Oh, that's Abel Tarrant, the Tattooed Man, who we see every time the JLA has to briefly take on a battle-line of recognizable but disposable villains!"

Always remember: there's regular logic...and then there's BAT-logic.

No, they DEDUCE it's the Tattooed Man because of the tattoo removal scars on his arms.  Because they DETECTIVES, meng.  They HAVE to be. They're the smart ones, so they have to solve this case through their detectiving.  It's not like someone is just going to walk up to them and...

Jeez, Barry; buy a Crime File, why dontcha? Or just call T.M. Maple.

Oh. Well, then. THERE's a lucky break. A tip.

And from such a clearly honest and reliable source, too.

Well, that's a face only Dr. Mid-Nite could trust. So, instead of, say, calling the cops (because heroes simply don't DO that), Batman and Flash show up at an abandoned planetarium after nightfall based on an anonymous tip given by a self-confessed underworld underling in British biker drag.  What could possibly go wrong...?

Leaguers may be stupid but they are always punctual.


Joshua Roots said...

"He's resistin' Citizen's Arrest wit' violence, yet!"

Says the goon AFTER gut-punching Ollie.

Oh, Green Arrow. This level of stupidity is almost impressive.

Also, is it me or does the goon in the second panel of the "fight" scene look just a little TOO pleased to be hugging Ollie. It's more "OMG, I AM TOUCHING HIM!" and less "Ha-HA! We've got him!"

Maybe we have this all wrong. Maybe these are just all four of GA's fanboys. After all, they did ask for his autograph.

Andrew said...

The greaser-beatnik
combo: natural foe to
Seventies heroes.

Eighties heroes
would be stuck with warmed-over
punk rock muggers.

I'm not sure who the
Nineties heroes used as their
punching bags. Ninjas?

Scipio said...


SallyP said...

Why are there so many "abandoned" buildings? There aren't any real estate agents in Gotham or Metropolis?

Bryan L said...

I smell a trap, too, Barry. I starting smelling it when the poor man's Mad Mod told you to be somewhere at a specific time. Unless you're seeing a movie with him, it's a set-up.

Anonymous said...

The dialogue, it BURNS.

Also, point of order: I thought the deal with the Tattooed Man is that the tattoos would leap off his arms, and he'd have to paint new tattoos on in their place. Thus there wouldn't be any tattoo removal scars. Is ... is that enough to make this story go away?

Brushwood Thicket Farmer said...

Every time I see that version of Batman, I hear Olan Soule's voice from the 60s cartoon. And Gary Owen for every other JLAer, whether it fits or not.

Bryan L said...

I don't think the tattoos disappear after use, Anonymous. I thought they reset, and were ready to go again. Shockingly, Wikipedia is not very clear on the subject. I question their priorities.

Anonymous said...

I'm basing my knowledge of Tattoed Man on a Marv Wolfman "Green Lantern" comic from about 1980, where the Tattooed Man had to re-paint tattoos on himself after he used them. It's probably a mistake for me to put my faith in Marv Wolfman, especially since he was trying to squeeze some angst out of it ("my tattoos aren't as powerful as they used to be! Is there something wrong with the ink?")

John said...

Man, Sekowsky got such a bad rap for making everybody look...not pretty, but I think the minion close-up speaks volumes towards blaming everything on Sid Greene, especially in comparison with the cover. And yeah, O'Neil's chatty thugs (presumably moonlighting from a Spider-Man comic) are the worst.

Interesting, though, that Barry jumps from a shocked and nauseated reaction to something he presumably sees literally every day at work to trying to recount the boring details of a back-issue. I wonder if that's a subtle characterization of someone trying desperately to compartmentalize his feelings and retreating from reality, rather than just sloppy writing.