As Kimbareta Shakespeare wrote, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless elephant."
Unlike the devious and sexually perverse octopus, the faithful elephant is known for its long memory of those it cherishes and its undying loyalty. It's nearly impossible to lose the affections of an elephant...unless you are inveterate embittered jackass Congo Bill.
|"Egads, even my Giant Peanut Butter Fudge Trap won't stop him!"|
If you think Green Arrow villains are bad, you should read some Congo Bill. Not a lot of colorful villains in the Congo (outside of the government), so the most interesting rogues in his Rogue's Gallery are...elephants.
|When Janu finally figures out that Bill makes up the Unwritten Law of the Jungle on the fly, it won't be pretty.|
Wouldn't it be GREAT, by the way, if the Flash had a elephant villain in his rogue's gallery? Say, a psychedelic Ganesha Guru, who had perception-bending powers?
|This one's for free, DC; get to work on it.|
Anyway, being no Barry Allen, Congo Bill has limited tolerance for rogues. Even ones who are obviously gentle in nature.
|Bombo's lighter-than-air shoes didn't work out nearly as well as his cold-gun.|
Rather than just let Bombo loose in some unpopulated area, Congo Bill leaps at the chance to follow The Unwritten Law of the Jungle and shoot him. Because Congo Bill is from Mega City.
|That's it, Janu; just close your eyes, bury your head and quietly sob to yourself.|
Just like every Saturday night in Bill's tent.
Bill is his usual supportive self about it, though.
|"Why, who knows? There could be another elephant RIGHT BEHIND US. |
Don't look, though."
Naturally, it turns out Bombo was being framed. Although who could blame him anyway? If I spent all my time with Congo Bill, I'd turn against humans, too. No wonder the jungle gods eventually turned Bill into a part-time gorilla.
Since shooting elephants is about as heroic as Congo Bill gets, he manages to squeeze off a non-heroic haiku as he presumptively damns his pachyderm pal:
|"Hey, Janu, I rented us a movie for tonight; Old Yeller."|
No use blowing that
whistle, Janu... Bombo is
no longer your friend.
What haiku can YOU compose to commemorate poor Bombo or condemn Congo Bill?