If you are familiar at all with those wacky creations of DC's late Silver Age, the Metal Men, then you've probably seem them do their standard "introposition" spiels.
Whenever you see them do this (they do it in almost every story), you barely pay attention because it's become so formulaic. Particularly Mercury's "did I ever mention that Mercury is the only metal etc." routine.
So would you notice if it were...
I'M MERCURY THE
ONLY METAL THAT'S LIQUID
AT ROOM TEMPERATURE.
I'm assuming Mercury pronounces "temperature" with only three syllables, because, well, that's how everyone pronounces it.
We all know Mercury's the snooty one, but don't the other Metal Men deserve their own haikus? Can you write them each their own haikus of self-introduction?