Monday, May 04, 2009

Pep 18: Who IS that poor guy?

Wow; is this the perfect Pep cover or what?

The centerpiece is, of course, the Shield entering from Stage Right, as usual, and on and oddly slack rope. He's mated again (third time now!) with that poor green schmuck with the pointy ears and purple dress.

Who is that poor guy? A heavily tanned Vulcan stranded on earth due to his illogical fashion choices? A deformed Coluan B&D master? The love-child of Killer Croc and Black Adam, wearing Catwoman's hand-me-downs? And what did he do to deserve drubbing by the Shield, on three covers, no less? Don't just sit there, Geoff Johns; give him a tragic backstory!

Regardless, the Shield's got him trapped in the steel thighs of justice and you know what that means: a steaming dose of the Shield's patented Minction Method of punishing the wicked, symbolized by the usual pale yellow stream from above. Open wide, evil-doer, and drown in the waste-product of decent society! Oh, but for the full scene, kiddies, you have to buy the comic!

One wonders, however, whether elf-ears will really mind. Given the scene he's currently engaged in with Little Miss Push-Up swinging in the background with her Ankleweights of Naughtiness, he may actually be into that sort of thing! Rumor has it, William Moulton Marston had a subscription to Pep.

And poor Dusty! With the advent of the Hangman, he's lost his post on "Crashing In" duty, and has been relegated to grappling with the towelboy. "And stay down!" "I was already down, sir!" "SHUT UP!"

Last, our new addition, the Hangman. When you're a crazed, bloodthirsty vigilante, dressed almost exactly like the villain, you can sometimes forget that you don't actually have any superpowers and wind up crashing through ceilings made of stone...


TotalToyz said...

A heavily tanned Vulcan stranded on earth due to his illogical fashion choices?

I....never thought of that. Terrans have red blood, and Terrans (Caucasian Terrans, at least) sunburn red. Vulcans have green blood, so would they sunburn green? Fascinating.

SallyP said...

The Shield's mighty thighs are indeed his greatest, if not his ONLY weapon. He and Mister Pointy Ears seem to be having a fine old time, in fact, they've completely forgotten about the young lady being gentle toasted behind them.

Citizen Scribbler said...

Yeah, this conflict with the green, pointy-eared guy in the robe is getting epic. This could very well become the Shield's equivalent of Captain Marvel's trials against The Monster Society Of Evil. I'm curious whether or not he's going to show up again, but I don't want to spoil the surprise until Scipio reveals it.

-Citizen Scribbler

TotalToyz said...

I think when Archie phased out the adventures of the Shield, the green guy got an ear job, went on an eating binge, and got a job as the principal of Riverdale High School.

Rich said...

If you guys actually care and don't already know, a little research tells me the green gent is the Vulture, who was indeed a recurring villain of the Shield.

And thanks to Ron Goulart for that info, I might add. Hell of a fine comics historian, Goulart is. Also a amusing scifi and mystery author.

TotalToyz said...

Indeed he is. I recently finished his Shaggy Planet. Very diverting.