Monday, August 13, 2007

The Hobbies of the Martian Manhunter

So, after a busy week of combatting such spirit-crushing threats as the Human Squirrel, what does J'onn J'onnz do for relaxation and personal fulfillment?


"Don't make waves" is not a Martian saying. The Martian version is "make waves, and as often as possible".
You'd be amazed how many times JJ does this trick.

Keeping Up With the J'onnzes
J'onn visits Mars, including his family (did you know he lived with his parents?). He gets visits from his brother, T'omm, and his Martian nemesis, B'rett (yes, those are really their names). Little troupes of overweight Martian invaders visit (Mandrills even). Yet, J'onn can't manage to find a way home. To the planet whose natives are known as "the premier race in the galaxy" even though they don't seem to have mastered travel within their own solar system. Who manage to develop a highly technologically society without being able to use fire. A society completely undetected by their planetary neighbors, despite decades of intense scrutiny of Mars via power telescopes. In short, the Martian Manhunter is just about the single worst sci-fi concept ever conceived.


Don't quit your day job, J'onn.

Dressing Like A Butterfly
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Practicing Lesser Used Martian Powers

And, of course,

Missionary Work


Wayne Allen Sallee said...

Someone should have commented before this. What the hell was everybody else doing today?

Anonymous said...

T'omm J'onnz? Please tell me he sings "D'elilah".

(Side note: "Delilah" is fun to sing in Pig Latin. Go ahead, give the chorus a try.)

Zaratustra said...

The Martians have so many awesome powers they never bothered to figure out interstellar travel. Why would they?

The Shadow said...

I consider The Human Squirrel a very spirit-crushing threat.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

Oh snap!

SallyP said...

Snapper Carr must be green with envy.

Accursed Interloper said...

"What the hell was everybody else doing today? "

I was in the comics shop, vacuuming up back issues of Blue Beetle and Birds of Prey, because I finally got tired of not getting 85% of the jokes on this blog. So that took a long time.

Scipio said...

85% of my jokes concern Blue Beetle or Birds of Prey?

I don't think I've ever made a joke about either of them...!

totaltoyz said...

Anonymous, you beat me to the T'omm J'onzz reference (and that's not unusual).

K26dp said...

In short, the Martian Manhunter is just about the single worst sci-fi concept ever conceived.

Ouch! But was it the concept or the execution? I can't believe the whole of DC's Martian society was actually concieved when the Martian Manhunter made his debut, but was tacked on later, like many of J'onn's more ridiculous powers.

Accursed Interloper said...

"85% of my jokes concern Blue Beetle or Birds of Prey? "

Well, uh, er, no, but 85% of those-particular-jokes-that-I-don't-get involve, or seem to the careless reader, or, that is, to THIS careless reader, to involve, or to require familiarity with, a context which, um uh, which prominently features the BB or BofP, yes, that's what I meant. I think. Yes.

Accursed Interloper said...

If, that is, one counts the jokes posted in the comments section, and um, and um, also counts as jokes all the sly references made in the "Things I liked about my comics this week" entries, I hasten to amend. Re-reading this blog does get funnier after an afternoon of back-issue reading, let me boldly affirm. Yes, boldly.