Rocky Grimes Week #4: Rock and Eyeroll

Rocky's already killed two of his former gang members using stones inscribed with mysterious messages of revenge.  Will his stone-paved path of slaughter grind forth unhalted?  Surely not! This is the point we wait for in these stories, when Batman, fired by moral outrage at such insidious assassinations,  starts detectifying and vows that he will not rest until this madman is stopped!

Unless, of course, he has something more fun to do.

Fight crime?!  Don't be absurd, boy, I don't even have time to turn on the lights!

Yeah, because, god knows, it's not like the mayor could possibly open an orphanage without Batman's help. 

It's ugly, but it's a truth.  In the later Golden Age and the Silver Age, Batman is all about opening supermarkets and kissing babies. It's only when people start getting murdered right in front of him, or crap gets stolen from museums he's a trustee of, or his own social schedule is interrupted that he rolls his eyes and deigns to actually fight crime.

Fortunately, that's exactly what happens.

"What a strong face he has?" Huh. Doesn't sound like Mason went very straight to me.  Are you SURE you wouldn't want him after you, Mason?

Believe it or not, Batman actually saves this guy. And his hat.

And on those lonely nights, Mason remembers this moment again and again.

"You saved my life, Batman!" the dream goes, "that makes me your SLAVE."

"Damnation.  Everyone's watching.  Now I HAVE to do something about it, don't I? *eyeroll*"

That's why the white slits, by the way: to hide all the eyerolling.

Robin, being a kid, doesn't appreciate the rarefied pleasures of cornerstone laying, so he's overjoyed to have a deranged and desperate murderer to chase.

"Hot dog! Can we play catch with a tarantula after this, Batman?" 

Robin's a nice kid, but he is NOT right in the head.

Rocky leads them on a merry one-panel chase to the waterfront.  It's my personal theory that Gotham City must be shaped like Ocean City, Maryland, because it seems like no matter where you are in Gotham, the waterfront is only one panel away.

"Ugh.  This one even has a GUN.  Why don't they ever just come along quietly?  I've got a museum board meeting tonight...! *eyeroll*"

Sigh.  Rocky really needs better repartee if he's going to make it as an actual VILLAIN, not just a cracked yegg.  C'mon, Rocky, seize your potential!

Okay, that's more like it.  Rocky's smart enough to abandon the stone-fetish for a minute and lay an actual impromptu trap for the Dispassionate Duo. For a second, I was worried he was going to try to stab them with a stonefish.  Impressively, dude manages to set them on FIRE on the OCEAN.

What with the stones, and the water, and the fire, I was going to make some strained analysis of Rocky Grimes as the essential Empedoclean villain, but it just seemed like so much hot air, really.

So, Batman and Robin burn to death in the middle the ocean, killed by an unspectacular rockpile refugee. Okay, not really. They jump into the ocean and swim beyond the flames while Rocky gets away.  Their 'quarry' escapes; see, I can make rock puns, too.

"And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those nosy kids and their dog!"

Rocky is showing glimmers of true villainhood here.  Rather than just sticking his head in the sand and hoping Batman doesn't get to him, he's taken Batman's measure and is formulating a plan accordingly. You can do it, Rocky! Embrace true villainy!

And he'd better hurry, because Batman has already begun to harness his own magical powers of free association with which he'll track down Rocky.  How exactly Batman's realization that all the victims were attacked with stones (because NOTHING escapes Batman's notice) will lead to finding Rocky is completely, utterly unclear.  However, the Boy Wonder, accustomed to playing Penny to Batman's Inspector Gadget, plays along.

"Um.  Sure, Batman. That's.. really interesting.  Meanwhile, let's look for something substantial the victims actually have in common, not just the murders.  Because unless Cave Carson's gone bonkers, your observation of the obvious is nearly irrelevant."

But meanwhile Rocky has his own plan.  One so ridiculous you will never believe it. But not as ridiculous as how Batman counters it.

Rocky Grimes Week #3: Rocky's Five-Way Revenge

So with his newfound obsession, Rocky Grimes intends to revenge himself on his former gangmembers who left him as their amnesiac fall guy.

Rocky's first target is "Lefty Slade", the one who stayed in the thieving business and became 'a big-time crook'.  Now that he's insane, Rocky's plotting involves the kind of free association that Batman & Robin used to do on the 1960s show to deduce where the supercriminal would strike next.  Like a campaign speech, it makes no sense, but has a certain flow that obscures that fact if you do it fast enough.

Hm.  That’s rather stretching it a bit, isn’t it, Rocky?  What are you going to do, lure him to Pennsylvania and shoot him there?

Turns out luring this 'big time crook' to his doom is easier than you'd expect.  Rocky basically calls him up as says, "Hey, you don't know me, but go stand and wait for me under a particularly unstable stone archway until I kill, -er, I mean, CALL you."

Remember, kids; older = more evil.

Wonder who called you? Actually, the real wonder is “How in evil’s name did you survive as a criminal in Gotham for the last twenty years if you’re sap enough to bite on every anonymous tip that tells you to go wait under a stone arch?”  Some sort of god of evil has obviously been preserving this schmoe for 20 years just so Rocky can triumphantly exalt, “AH HA! IT IS I, ROCKY GRIMES, COME TO EXACT MY STONE-THEMED REVENGE UPON THEE!”

Oh.  Or Rocky won't say anything.  Rocky will just topple an archway on him so he never even know what hit him, let alone know that Rocky was responsible.  Oh, Rocky; what happened to the vainglorious guy we loved, the one who used to shout his name out loud as he shot bank guards?  It’s sad how we all lose our youthful idealism, isn’t it?  Plus, you just fell back several pegs on the "Potential Villain" cribbage board.

Still; the after-effect is pretty impressive.

THIS, in case you Philistines don't recognize it, is ART. Like, Tarot-card worthy art.  We really need a Tarot deck of people dying in Golden Age comics. Oh, yeah; the Five of Cops; the Three of Debacles; I can see it all now.

The inscribed “I FINALLY REMEMBERED” stone? Yeah, that’s first-class stuff, there!  Do they sell those on-line? I'm sure Gotham City has a store where you can buy revenge-themed inscribed items, called "Wrongs Remembered".

Once the deed is done, however, Rocky is naturally mortified and comes to his senses.

I am sure making that face hurts your eyes.  But I'll bet it feels like it's worth it at the time.

Ha! No. Just kidding.  That is not the face of a man who has come to his senses.  That's the face of man who's drunk on pure mania.  "I'll give him a touch,too ... A TOUCHSTONE! WHEEeee-NYA-HAHAHAHAHAHAGGA-URK!"

This proves quite easy to do.

True story: Golden Age comic book writers, long before there was an internet, used to write weird facts like "Basanite/touchstone: used to check metal purity" on index cards and keep them for later use in stories.  It's easy to make fun of their stuff now, but these men were dedicated to their craft.  And proud of their ability to turn any bizarre trivia item into MURDER.

And that spells FIN for 'Fin' Gonzy! Ha! Ha ha!

See? That's the kind of triumphant speech of revenge we were hoping for.  A little clunky, perhaps, but Rocky's new at the ironic revenge game.  By the way, note that Rocky's chief weapon, other than a fanatical devotion to stones, is the multiple mixed metaphor. 

ART, people. Beautiful, haunting, corpse-filled art. 

Rocky Grimes Week #2: IT'S LIKE A SYMBOL!

We last left the newly de-amnesiafied Rocky Grimes with several possible life-paths to choose from: go straight, turn his old gangmembers in, become a fitness guru, or sue the city.

This being the Golden Age, he naturally chooses a different, less sensible path; a path of revenge; a path paved…

WITH STONES!

Well, yes, that's true, Rocky, but--

Okay, while I'll admit that's an odd coincidence, it's not--

Rocky, now you're just ranting--

That has nothing to do with anything, Rocky.

Holy CRAP.  Dude's gone COMPLETELY INSANE in two panels and is talking to a transquartomuralistic rock.

We need a term of art for moments like these, where a villain adopts his idiosyncrazy.  That moment where the criminal finally looks up from his life and sees the gears of the mechanisms of irony in which he is enmeshed and decides not to escape the mechanism but to use it to his advantage, to turn it against his enemies.   

When the Joker looked at himself in the mirror for the first time and realized the joke was on him—and that he needed to share the joke with others.  

When Jervis Tetch decides “never” to let Alice alone and becomes the Mad Hatter. 

When Prof. Crane decides to master fear by frightening others.  

When Two-Face scars the coin that scarred him and adopts it as his regulator.  

When Joe Coyne finally snaps and silently shouts out, “PENNIES WILL BE MY CRIME SYMBOL!”

Wow. How sad is it that even when you line him up against the Joker, the Mad Hatter, the Scarecrow, and Two-Face, it's Joe who looks like The Crazy One?

It’s a sort of peripeteian epiphany of evil.  Not only do you perceive and accept the horrible fate that has befallen you, but, rather than be crushed by its cruelty, you resolve to reverse it and use it against others.

It’s a very special event, this Peripeteian Epiphany of Evil.  It may happen in other forms in literature, but the comic book is its native land.  Although it’s not necessarily confined to evil-doers (“Crime terrified me, so I shall become a bat and terrify crime!”), but it is with villains that it takes its most dramatic form, because they can abandon all reason in the process.

And Rocky Grimes certainly abandons all reason in the process!  After his peripeteian ephiphany of evil, Rocky Grimes decides to “stone” his enemies to death in creative and personalized ways. 

Which you'll discover tomorrow.

Rocky Grimes Week #1: Rock Out!

On the first day of Rocky Grimes Week, we find Grimes serving out his last day in prison just as he has served the last twenty years: on the rock pile.

Hey, Rocky’s on the rock pile! Ha, surely just a small pun/coincidence.  Certainly nothing you’d build a character around.  Surely.

Rock piles, by the way, weren’t just a cartoon thing; they were a real thing.  Prisoners for serious crimes would be put to work smashing rocks into gravel, which could then be used on state construction projects (frequently road-building).  It also served as a physical outlet for aggression and saved a ton of money on gym equipment.

Rocky had had one other hobby in addition to rockpiling for the last 20 years; protesting ignorance of his own guilt.

“Rocky, we have your fingerprints, eyewitnesses, photographs, a charcoal sketch done by art student, plus you shouted your own name out while you shot someone.  But your wacky ‘I didn’t do it’ routine has been so amusing these last 20 years!  I’m sure you’re just pretending to be innocent.  Because if you actually had amnesia then we might have to get you some medical treatment, ha ha.  By the way, nice job on the rock pile, and here’s your old suit back.”

Frankly, I’m impressed that after twenty years, Rocky can still wear the same suit.  I may need to add rock piling into my workout routine. 

Finally free, Rocky leaves the stone walls of prison for the stone streets of Gotham, where street lights must about three inches high, because everyone is always lit dramatically from below, such that huge dark shadows can loom behind them ominously, following them everywhere, like an unremembered shady criminal past.

"This lighting scheme brought to you by a grant from the Wayne Foundation."

But then fate, which favors white-wall tires, drives by, and hit Grimes in the head… with a stone!

Prisoners labor for twenty years making gravel and still Gotham has cobblestone streets? WTF, Gotham DoT?!  Knowing Gotham, some corrupt official sold the gravel to Central City and pocketed the money, leaving Gothamites to wheel about on dilapidated cobblestone streets.

As fate’s white wheels would have it, the stone that hits Rocky’s temple  restores his memory! 

It's like a Gotham gameshow.  "Okay, you chose what was behind the Black Curtain of Unconsciousness.  And it's... a life wasted in prison and sudden old age!  And a goat!"

And Rocky finally remembers that he really was a crook!

But not just any crook: he was the Stupidest Crook in Gotham.

“How’s my robbing? Email me at rockygrimes@crimemail.com.”

"Sorry, I have to shoot and run," Rocky says.  "But I need to post this on my Facebook wall and update my bankrobbery blog." I'll say this for Rocky; he's certainly got the vanity and foolhardy bravado that a first-class villain needs.  Maybe he's primed for bigger things.

In addition to the robbery, he also finally remembers what happened to him later, at Gotham’s lowest-ceilinged hideout…

Why don't they just shoot him?  These guys are clearly not cut out to be Gotham gangsters.  The Penguin totally would have just shot this guy, probably while making a condescending remark.

Really, it’s remarkable how unerringly stones go right to Rocky’s temple, almost as if guided by some sort of, I dunno, stone temple pilots.  

Rocky, the vain and murderous one, took the fall for the rest of the gang and thanks to his amnesia couldn’t rat them out if he wanted to.

But now that Rocky has regained his memory, what do you think his reaction is? 

(a)   “What a fool and a jackass I was! I’m lucky I didn’t get the chair.  Time to go straight!”

(b)   “Ha! Now all I have to do is testify against my fellow gangmembers! They’ll all go to prison for the next twenty years while I’m free, ha ha!”

(c)    “Flying cobblestones? WTF, Gotham DoT?! I’m going to sue the pants off the city and be set for life!”

(d)   “Wait, I can still wear the same suit I wore twenty years ago? I can make millions as a fitness guru with my Rockpile System! God bless you, Warden Crichton, and your advanced theories of penology!”

We’ll find out tomorrow, won’t we?

Rocky Grimes Week #0: I Finally Remembered

I finally remembered.

There I was, lying in bed listening to the expected hailstorm we were having here in DC.  

A hailstorm; that reminded of something, some story I wanted to talk about.  But I just couldn’t quite recall what it was, or where I’d seen it. So I just lay there, tossing and turning, listening to the drumbeat of the hail on the windows.  Until…

I finally remembered.

It was the story of this man:

This man’s name is Grimes.  I’m sure you’ve never heard of him.  

Yet Grimes is symbol, an encapsulation of perfect Golden Age -style storytelling, both good and bad.  His is a triumphant of concept so pure, so absolute, that in the coming week it will cleanse your mind and soul.  His story will help you realize that (1) whatever you read this week wasn’t nearly as stupid as it could have been and (2) no, you would not want to be a comic book character in a comic book world.

Next week, ladies and gentleman, is Rocky Grimes Week.  Yes, I have finally remembered; and I intend to make sure that none of us ever forget.

Things That Made Me Happy

... in my comics this week.

When I first read "Orm's sister", I thought, "Well, she's just been introducted to produce dramatic tension.  I don't think she's going to be any real trouble."  Then I read her NAME.  Oh, yeah; that's trouble.

Finally, a sensible reason why the Fortress of Solitude is where it is.

"I'm a work in progress."  See? This is why people love Barry Allen.  Try to imagine Batman or Superman or Wonder Woman saying, "I'm a work in progress."  Wonder Woman would just say, "I'm progress!"  Superman would just say,  "Excuse me, I'm working."  Batman would--well, Batman would just walk away.  Or gas you.

"Oofta."  Heh, apparently Jimmy actually IS scandanavian.
Scavenger.  Oh, I could have told you THAT last month.

Hey, it's Go-Go Gomez! BWAHAHAHAHA!

"No."  Look, you can call Superman boring all you want.  He's still got Golden Age-style, anti-authoritarian balls of steel, and that's alright in my book.

Orion likes Earth.  Somehow, that actually makes a difference to me. Plus, he knows that the New Gods are boring.

It occurs to me that Flash is the (potentially) perfect intersection of Batman (detective with colorful rogues gallery in an urban environment) and Superman (god-like powers but lowly secret ID and gobs of humility).
Hector Hammond.  I'm like the NewDCU more and more.

Speaking of anti-authoritarian balls of steel, I love how I-am-very-ready-to-kick-your-ass Mera was talked down off the ledge of violence by a sensible, normal woman.

Superman's showdown with Congress.  Yes; that is almost exactly what would happen. So seldom do comics get politics right or even remotely realistic, that I must praise them when they do.  Congress would not go, "Oh, how lovely; Superman has a country cottage!  I hope Lois Lane does a story on it and all its wonders at some point."  Congress would definitely go, "Uh, so you built a FORTRESS filled with world-threatening weapons and dangerous substances and creatures? Can we discuss this?"

Oh, I am SURE Iris has been touched by the speed force, which is how she can go from zero to MEAN in under 15 seconds.

"Caesar knows." You're a good Roman, Perry.

The Outlanders. More real-politik,  indeed!

Hey, Superman; next time, try just unplugging the thing.  It's what anyone without heat vision would have done.

Scream Team and the Scary House

Well, I know it's a little early for Halloween.  Okay-- a lot.  But when you're a horror fan like me, Halloween is more of an attitude than an event.  Kind of like how DC is with reboots.

Anyway, my Halloweeniness has been inspired by the release of the newest Marvel Heroclix set, which features many of Marvel's classic monster characters.

I've commented before that one of the sources of the differences between DC and Marvel is that, while DC's principal roots are in detective and pulp stories, Marvel's are in monster and romance stories. This has given Marvel a rich tradition of monster lore: Tomb of Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, The Living Mummy, Werewolf by Night, Man-Thing, "Zuvembies", Dazzler.

These characters are represented in Marvel's most recent Heroclix set, and I snagged some myself to help complete my longstanding desire for a Halloween theme team with which to surround DC's Scarecrow.

Here's a 401 pt Halloween Scream Team(I don't sweat a couple points one way or the other in my builds):
BS-023 Scarecrow; 74 pt
AS-010 Frankenstein's Monster; 65 pts
AS-011 Living Mummy; 92 pt
AS-012 Vampire; 43 pt
OR-090 Gentleman Ghost; 83 pt
BM-099 Flock of Bats (black); 13 pt

Sure, Gentlemen Ghost isn't exactly the most terrifying specter in the afterlife, but he is DC's best known ghostly villain (certainly in Heroclix).

Add in a black cat (DS-102 Catwoman; 75 pt) for bad luck and a Flock of Bats Grey BM-009 (18 pts) and you have a 494 pt team.

Once I composed this team, I longed for an appropriate map to play them on; Heroclix just doesn't have any scary maps.  Then I stumbled across a custom one that I had forgotten about! I'd designed it but never had it printed.  Here, then, is 

The Scary House

Those of you who ever heard of the defunct "Horroclix" game will recognize the style.  

I'd been trying to put together a team of DC scientists to fight this group.  Now, most of DC's really science-y scientists are villains... but I managed to come with these guys:

JL-107 Barry Allen 80 pts (he's a police scientist)
BS-006 Blue Beetle 61 pts (that's Ted Kord, the inventor)
CJ-222 The Atom 50 pts (physicist Ray Palmer)
DC-041 Batman 102 pts (in the immortal words of Homer Simpson, "Batman's a scientist.")
CR-049 Will Magnus & Platinum 75 pts (crazy roboticist Will!)
BB-022 Cave Carson 24 pts (speluncologists are scientists, too).

That's 392 pts, which perfect to fight the 401 Scream Team, and if you want them to go up against the 494 version the answer is simple.  Just add on:

OR-068 Starman 106 pts (Astronomer, physicists, inventor Ted Knight).

I know which side my money's on.

Things That Made Me Happy...

...in my comics this week.

I appreciate that in his writing of the Flash character in Justice League, Geoff Johns is trying to split the difference between Barry’s and Wally’s personalities.  It’s not working, but I appreciate the effort nonetheless.

So glad to learn that Element Woman isn’t Urania Blackwell, because, thanks to Neil Gaiman, it’s impossible to read the name “Urania Blackwell” without feeling sad.

Brimstone.  Heh.  Given his original MacGuffin role in Legends many years ago, his on-going status as a shorthand for “off-camera generic monster attacking city” brings a wry smile to my face.

Dang.  Azzarello is going to make me LIKE Orion, isn’t he?  Well done.

The repeated dialog in JLA and Vibe.  Some might call it redundant.  I call it “continuity”.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have confirmed that Human Flying Fish does exist in New52 continuity.  Let the celebrations commence!

Tharok is pretty much single-handedly destroying the United Planets.  THEN, he wakes up the Promethean Giants. And the rest of the Fatal Five hasn’t even started to make trouble. I love the fact that they are even MORE terrifying now than they were when I was a child.

Love that Platinum’s design is a shout-out to Robot Maria.

And that is why Prof Ivo is one of the Justice League’s greatest enemies.

“It’ll be fun” is not a reason Batman does things.

Now THAT is a legitimate reason to slap Wonder Woman in the ass.

The sharks, Vixen, and the ducks.

You know, of all the people I’d allow to play with giant gurgling vats of molten metal, crackpot genius Will Magnus is not on the list.

“I still vote ‘no’.”  Barry Allen can be funny; just not intentionally.

This person is a LOT more interesting than Cindy Reynolds.

I really want an Evil Android Batman in the next Heroclix set.

The fact that the design of the last page of Batwoman is such a dramatic contrast that it hits you like a pie in the face.

If reading the word “responsometer” doesn’t make you smile a little, then you probably shouldn’t be reading DC comics.

So, I guess Nightwing doesn’t really read his evites; or is really stupid.  He’s that guy who unlocks his pics for you on-line and when you ask whether he’s read your profile, he says, “No, why?”

Black Lightning + Blue Devil = bromance.

“One” and “B”.

Oh, I am SO sure Zatanna is happy to be ‘on call’ for Superman anytime. Yeesh, Z; Wonder Woman is RIGHT THERE IN THE ROOM!

So, I guess Maggie said ‘yes’, huh?

“Did you hear that, Aquaman?”  Aquaman is Superman’s closest equal in the League, since he’s basically the Golden Age Superman with added aqua-powers.

“While I’m in there, you want me to fix anything?”  BWAHAHAHA, I love you, J’onn J’onnz, particularly now that you’re being written exactly as creepy and crazy as I’ve always pictured you.

Dang.  Johns is going to make me LIKE Catwoman, isn’t he?  Well done.

Is it just me or it is intentionally hilarious that “It’s so nice to be around professionals for once” is said by someone wearing fishnet to someone wearing fishnet?

But the sad part is: you just know that face is going to fall off at some point.

Hawkman + Vibe = comedy gold.

“What kind of dogs were they?” See, now THAT is Barry Allen.

Hot, hot Vixen-on-Platinum action is definitely a fetish for someone.  Possibly everyone.

“Have a nice day” + skull/n/bones = I love villains who ACT like villains!

Look! Up in the sky!

I have long puzzled over how to represent a 3D fighting space on a 2d Heroclix map. The answer is simple: you can't.

Perhaps that's why I enjoy the challenge.  I can't feel bad if I fail (because it's clearly impossible), and any small success I have in capturing the flavor of 3D action feels ENORMOUS.

Besides, there are some comic books scenes that just demand it.  Villains attack from space.  Or a battle is raging too close to occupied areas and a hero tries to take it up, up, and away from vulnerable civilians and property.  Or someone tries to escape a flying pursuer by darting in and among the maze-like city environment.

Also the perfectly foursquare 'from above' view on all standard Heroclix maps can get boring, since that is not at all how we see the world, even if we are flying above it.

So, here's my latest attempt, titled, "Look, Up in the Sky!"

It works by dividing the map into three sections that function as different "levels" in the 3D arena (those are separate by the fuzzy white boundary lines).  You can move from one to the other but adjacency/line-of-fire (and other game effects, such as Poison, Perplex, Pulse Wave, etc.) do not cross the boundary between sections.  If someone is in another section of the board, you gotta go get 'em, if you want 'em.

The lowest section is full of blocking and hindering terrain (as you would expect).  But no elevated terrain; that would just confuse things.

The middle section has a bit of blocking terrain, representing the tops of skyscrapers.  The sun (well, the sunLIGHT, really, but you get the idea) and some clouds provide hindering terrain.  The second level is restricted to flyers, so the hindering terrain really only hinders their line of fire, not their movement.

The upper section (naturally, also restricted to flyers) is the empty space above the city, where hiding is just not an option.  Oh, since some characters can actually lose the power of flight at certain points on their dial, there is a rule on how to let the figure "fall" back down to the lowest section with a loud "OW!" (represented by three clicks of damage).  

There's a lot of characters that would feel good on this map. The Superman family and foes, of course.  The Lanterns.  The Hawkfolk.  Certain versions of Wonder Woman (particularly with the Invisible Plane). The "Brave & Bold" style Batman with his Batplane.  The Martian Manhunter (particularly if you throw in some sort of 'flaming meteorite' heavy object he's got to stop without getting too close to).

Aquaman and Flash, however, are going to feel a little left out.  But perhaps I can find a way to make it up to them in the future...

Manapul Plaza

Oh, it's been too long since I posted a new Heroclix map!

Batman, Superman, and Green Lantern have done very well in Heroclix.  Each has had own set, mini set, or some such.  As a result, there are many versions of them to play, plenty of allies to put on teams with them, and enough of their villains to give them a fair challenge.  

But Flash? Poor Flash.

Sure, there are plenty of versions of Flash (both Barry and that kid who used to be his sidekick who no longer exists and whose name escapes me).  But his foes?  Frankly... they suck.

By that, I mean, their Heroclix figures suck.  The Rogues themselves---well, I've never been their biggest fan.  Still, whatever their failings, they are one of the most famous Rogues Galleries in comic books.  And the Flash (both in comic books and Heroclix) deserves foes who can give him a run for his money.

Take the Weather Wizard.  He was the first of the Central City Rogues to be 'clixed', and was in the very first set of DC Heroclix some eleven years ago.  But as a result, his dials are so underpowered as to make him completely unusable.  Heck, at one point on one of his dials his Attack Value is 5 and his Defense Value is 11, which is about what you would expect from, say, a clix of Aunt May in the hospital on a respirator (and even then she'd probably have Willpower).  And yet, unlike many, many characters, the Weather Wizard has never been remade.

In such cases, Flash fans like me have had to resort to re-dialing the figure using a more modern, appropriate dial from some other figure.  For the Weather Wizard, I made the obvious choice: I gave him a "Storm" dial from Marvel Heroclix.  Here's the custom character card I made to go with it:

Mirror Master's not as bad as Weather Wizard, but he's still bad enough to warrant a re-dialing.  I actually made two different versions of Mirror Master, one based on the Dr Manhattan/Silk Specter duo from the Watchmen set and another on the Mysterio (whose illusory/fake copies of himself are very similar to Mirror Master mirror duplicates).

Sadly, some original Rogues, like the Trickster and the Pied Piper, don't even have their own clix figures at all!  It's criminal, and I'm hoping that Wizkids, the makers of Heroclix, will find some slots in upcoming sets to correct such injustices.  

When they do, I've taken the liberty to create some Flash-oriented maps to play them on.  I have posted here before my Flash Museum map and my Central City Police Forensics Lab.  But I've missing the most characteristic venue for Flash battles: a large empty plaza of the kind that seems to be the principle constituent element of Central City urban design.  In fact, I've long suspected that LeCorbusier was actually a Central City escapee, come to our world through of the myriad extradimensional portals that pop up in Flash stories all the time.  Because no person from a normal world could possibly have his viewpoint on urban design.

Now to make an accurate Central City -style plaza,  you'd have to double the size of normal Heroclix map and put on it, well, nothing at all, because Central Plazas are always utterly featureless except for vast expanses of unpeopled sidewalk.

That, however, would make for a boring Heroclix game.  So I created a plaza map (below) with a few features like pools and a statue (of the Flash, of course), and some street commerce.  I call it "Manapul Plaza":

The yellow and red is in case you forget who the map is for, by the time Wizkids makes some decent Rogue clix for Flash to fight.