SWORD OF THE ATOM Week!

If there is a more severe on-line critic of the Sword of Atlantis folly than I, I have not encountered him or her.

But, as I have probably mentioned before, perhaps the saddest thing about this folly is that it's not unprecedented. A similar (but better) attempt to shift a superhero into the sword and sorcery genre was made in 1983: the Sword of the Atom.

Of course, Sword of the Atom wasn't nearly as a bad as Sword of Atlantis, for several reasons. One, things happened in it. Two, it had some nice characterization going on. Three, the hero is actually quite impressive in it. Four, the Atom was in it, not a faux Atom replacing him.

I've heard differing accounts of whether Gil Kane and Jan Strnad pitched the story to DC or whether DC solicited Kane to draw the Atom and one of his conditions was the shift in genre.

In either case, Kane was well-prepared. Gil Kane had done an award-winning "sword epic": Blackmark, now credited as the first graphic novel (although the term had not yet been coined when the book was published in 1971).

Gil Kane was a versatile visual storyteller, a conscientious professional,
a respected spokesman for the industry...

and a tall, dark, sleepy-eyed, Eastern European man-babe!

So the Sword of the Atom mini-series has all sorts of strange and terrifying things: angry reptiles, scantily clad alien princesses, domesticated frogs, burly half-naked warrior men, and hordes of carnivorous mice.

But none so strange and terrifying as...

JEAN LORING

Yes, Jean Loring had always been kind of crazy. After all, that's one of the messages of the Silver Age: "women who put their careers ahead of marriage or man-hunting must be crazy." But it wasn't really until the Bronze Age that Jean Loring became crazy-mean.

Despite the fact that the story takes place primarily in the Amazon jungle, Jean gets more face-time in Sword of the Atom than she had seen in years. Speaking of Jean...


Proof, if proof were needed, that Jean Loring has always been evil or insane, or both:

It's horrible enough that she forced her bridesmaids to wear those... those... outfits. But when you realize that's Supergirl, Hawkwoman, Wonder Woman, and Black Canary, as almost as if you're watching Hostel 3: the Makeover. Even at this poor resolution, their faces tell their stories:

Supergirl's thinking, "Cool, now I can wear this outfit again to whatever my job is next issue!" As we know, Supergirl will wear anything.

Hawkwoman's planning on using the hat for target practice.

Wonder Woman's used to looking frumpy as Diana Prince, but she looks so sad: "When will I get to march down the aisle. March, march, march!"

Sex-kitten Black Canary is utterly mortified to be dressed as a Stepford Wife: "I will never ever get married to a creepy macho putz like my mother did."

Also of note: Hal Jordan is there but couldn't be bothered to wear a tie, opting instead for a cheesy love necklace, hoping to score with one of the friends of the bride. Swinger Aquaman seems to have brought his wife Mera and his boyfriend. Oh, and when the Phantom Stranger is at your wedding it means one of two things: either you are really really cool or your marriage is not going to turn out well.

For Clark

In the morning in D.C.,

When I read a great metropolitan newspaper,

Over fresh coffee, two sugars, no cream,

it all seems so clear;

What is right

and what is wrong with the world

Is all laid out in tidy little type

Neatly divided into even lines

With nothing in between them,

Cleanly columnated to fit

Between previously prescribed margins,

With no awkward gaps,

Intriguing lacunae,

Or blanks to fill in,

And my need for order and simplicity.

Is satisfied.

But by day’s end,

When, over some slow and subtle vintage,

I ponder this week’s comics,

Its brighly garbed denizens struggle

With one another

With themselves

With the truths that lie between them,

In their four-color world

Of anger, grief, terror, and joy,

In an all-caps context

Pointed with exclamations,

Sixty plus years

Seems scant time indeed

To even begin to fathom

The Joker’s latest schemes

Let alone

What it all might mean,

And the motives of those who wish to rule the world

Or those who wish to stop them.

Back in a Flash!

While Flash enjoys some sweet sweet alien octopus love, let's chat about the latest instance of my being really really right. Smug, too, but that's a different subject.

As I mentioned here, I've thought for some time that the Lightning Saga (the Legion's current visit with the JLA and the JSA) is about bringing the Flash back to life (by that I mean Barry Allen).

What is nearly confirmed in this interview with Mark Waid?

Those who pick up the last issue of Flash: The Fastest Man Alive next week will get a big part of it there, and those who pick up the end of the Justice League/Justice Society team-up the same day, when it ships, will get another gigantic part of the puzzle right there too

I see! So the Flash, and the end of the title Flash: the Fastest Man Alive, and the restart of Flash at 231, all ties in to the Lightning Saga, eh? Well, whaddaya know.

When I heard about the new numbering and the return of Mark Waid to the Flash, I was worried that I was off the beam, that it was Wally that DC is bringing back.

Until I talked to Devon Who Erreth Not.

Devon reminded me that after Waid left the Flash, he said he "had said everything he felt he wanted to or could say about Wally West". Doesn't sound like he'd leap at the chance to write Wally West again, does it?

Ah, but writing Barry Allen... that would a different story. Many different stories, in fact. And it would explain why Waid had continued what other writers started, the thing that ruined Wally West as a character: tried to make him as much like Barry as possible. For me, it seemed no more believable than a boy wearing his father's clothes looks like an adult. The Wally West on the JLU was his own man and an interesting and loveable character; the one in the comics wasn't and he had left behind any hope of being that version of Wally West many years ago.

I'm no Barry Allen fanatic, nor a Wally-hater. This isn't one of those Hal-is-Great/Kill-Kyle-the-Pretender sort of things. But Wally got ruined by Linda Park and the Speed Force. Barry's been away for so long, he's got two huge and seemingly irreconcilable advantages: he's got great iconic and history power and he's a blank slate.

Barry Allen was a character before his time. Forsenic science wasn't sexy in the 1950 and '60s; nowadays it's half the shows on television. DC tried to turn Wally into Barry: the reporter wife, the freakish power level, the police job. They tried to turn Bart into Barry: the Allen name, the bookishness, the police scientist thing.

For pete's sake, just bring back Barry already. Then he can be the Flash and maybe, just maybe, DC can let Wally and Bart be themselves again: unique individuals whom we enjoy because they are different from Barry not because they are like him.

Then we might be able to enjoy the Flash Dynasty, in the same way we can enjoy the Superman Dynasty, the Batman Dynasty, the Green Lantern Corps, and the Aquaman---

Oh, that's right. Well, one thing at a time...

CAPTION CONTEST!

(from the most recent Heroclix games at Big Monkey DC)

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics/comic book store this week.

• Hey, Red Hood is an actual detective! He should teach Nightwing how to do that...
• The Headless Abraham Lincoln.
• Kid Amazo. He's fun and makes me disturbingly hot.
• We've got around 70 subscribers to the Big Monkey Podcast!
• Forerunner, the Not So Nice version of Harbinger.
• Finally, someone remembered that Piper is a Rich Pinko Commie Liberal.
• So, do you think there's an assigned rotation for who has to repair the Washington Monument? Kind of like Monitor Duty?
• The unflappability of Mary Marvel.
• It was good to see that Sleez is still around. It was even better to see that he isn't.
• At least I'm not the only person who gets his butt kicked by Big Mike at Heroclix!
• Kruger and Ross pegging almost every single hero's characterization in Justice; particularly Aquaman.
• The Women's Discussion Group at Big Monkey last night was really hopping!
• Am I actually starting to .... like Donna Troy? I think I need therapy.
• The Jean Loring Showcase is out!

Initial Impressions

You know what says, "I'm a goober" more effectively than anything else in comic books?

Having two initials on the front of your costume.



Like Cat-Man, Elongated Man, Shakedown, and Dumb Bunny.


Wait. Wait.

Who am I missing...?

Next event: the Tiger Toss!

Do you remember the technique that Starman used to defeat a bear?

Well, you're not the only one who remembered...





Of course, this being the Silver Age, the target is a gorilla...

Big Monkey Podcast No. 2

The next issue of the Big Monkey Podcast is now available on-line.

Wherein Jon, Jonnie, Devon, Ben, and I discuss Countdown, the Ultimates line, and the comics for kids.

Plus, a commercial from Derek Lancaster, the Super-Clown of Metropolis , and a special message from Latveria.


P.S. It is also available on the I-Tunes.

Even ... a woman!

For those of who weren't really in the game before the original Crisis, Superboy explains the Multiverse to you.


Note the progression of Bizarre Multiversal Translations:

A criminal.

An ape-like creature.

"Even a woman!"

If this panel appeared in a comic book today, entire websites to condemn it and What It Says About The Industry As A Whole would spring up like mushrooms overnight.

Father's Day

Father's Day (12 figures at 396 points)

ID	Name	Points
J037	Rookie Green Arrow	29
cdF002	Feat Flashbang	5
le041	Experienced Arsenal	44
o013	Rookie Wildcat	54
leF001	Feat Armor Piercing	10
o058	Rookie Hawkman	59
cdF005	Feat Movethrough	8
o037	Rookie Animal Man	46
ic025	Rookie Aquaman	39
leF005	Feat Large Object	12
icF001	Feat Submerged	5
o076	Rookie Green Lantern	85

versus

Bad Daddies (4 figures at 396 points)

ID	Name	Points
J073	Rookie Deathstroke	40
ic043	Rookie Darkseid	141
J088	Unique Amazo	195
leF008	Feat Trick Shot	20

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.


John Stewart's Kryptonite Disco Ball of Death.

Blue Beetle and Booster Gold, together again.

Busiek's baby Chemos.

Bringing Tora to her senses.

Should Cat-Man be putting all his weight on the leg with the arrow wound? That's how butch he is.

Hey, the Monitors are just like the Roman Senate!

Black Adam? Okay; I didn't see that coming.

I get it; Jimmy's the Source!

The DCU has a magazine called "NOMEN"? Somebody stop me...!

Gail, I want a job at the Ivy Town Chamber of Commerce.

The return of the Bug-Eyed Bandit fixes the greatest misjustice of Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Dini surprises me in Detective (although it was all more than a bit reminiscent of a certain episode of Batman: The Animated Series).

Hmm; interesting re-use of Dark Angel.

Nothing says "fun comics" like Jonah Hex biting off the head of a live buzzard!

The podcast is on I-Tunes!

The first Big Monkey Podcast is now available on the I-Tunes!

The young people tell me you just go to the I-Tunes and search for "Big Monkey" and it shows up. So, if that's what you've been waiting for, wait no more, and enjoy!

Meanwhile, we (that's Ben of Those Wednesdays, Jonnie of Jon Hex Lives, Devon of Seven Hells, Jon of Facedown in the Gutters, and me) will be recording our second one tonight.

If you have any topics you'd like to hear us tackle or just email Ben directly at ben@bigmonkeycomics.com.

Interlactose Intolerant

Don't pick on the Legionnaires for talking funny. Don't you realize they don't speak English?

Yes, they speak freaky wacky Interlac, the Interstellar Language of the Future. Actually, DCU aliens in the present also know Interlac, but somehow "The Interstellar Language of the Present" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.


If you didn't already know Interlac, I'm sure you've had plenty of opportunity to ponder, peruse, and even decode it, while waiting for something to happen in the Lightning Saga (such as the death of Geo-Force).

Now, for convenience sake, Interlac is presented as a transliteration of English. But Interlac is different from English. Deeply, perversely different, as any attempt to translate it shows.

How do I know this? Grife, just listen to people in Legion stories talk! Almost every sprokking word balloon sounds something like this:

"Oh, how I despise Sun Boy for dooming us this way!"

"For displaying such weakness, we are imprisoning you here for all time lest you betray us again!"

Not even I talk that way. It's like reading a strict translation of Livy (in this particular case, his synopsis of the Peace Treaty from the Second Punic War).

"Ha! Ha ha! All your base are belong to us!"

Panels like this have allowed me deduce that Jim Shooter was, in fact,
a Japanese teenage girl.

Starman would have loved Interlac.

You remember Alaktor, inventor of the transdimensional adult diaper-tard? I assume the "thing he's after" is a changing station, which would explain his walk. Anyway, try to picture yourself saying, "I'm getting near the thing I'm after!" Now picture that you're wearing that outfit when you say it.

Sometimes I think Interlac is kind of like Mohican or maybe Chippewa.


And sometimes it's like...
okay, I give up on this one. It sounds like when I tried to speak Hausa in high school and all I could ever spit out was stuff along the lines of "Your pigs are eating my yam field".


Anyway, don't blame the Legionnaires if they sound "funny" to you. English simply isn't well suited to translating the genius of Interlac.

Monkey Links

Ben and the Boys.

Mary Marvel.

In Defense of Brad Meltzer.

Quiz Bowl Winners.

Simply Criminal.

DC films.

Plain Janes.

The Legion

Because the Legion of SuperHeroes (LSH) is one of the topics on this week's Big Monkey Comics Podcast (which we are recording Wednesday evening at the DC store, if anyone wants to watch), I've been thinking about them. I'm probably the biggest Legion-fan on the panel, so I expect to do a lot of "defending" (particularly against certain people)!

As the story goes, the Legion was inspired by Superman/Superboy and the other current-day superheroes (i.e., the JLA). But, you know what? I think it's the other way around.

Writers and readers often refer to the JSA in the Golden Age as a model for the creation of the JLA in the Silver Age. But, regardless of what was intended, it isn't. In fact, the JLA is in some ways the very opposite of the JSA.

The Justice Society of America (JSA) wasn't a collocation of DC's "big guns" like the JLA is (except for, you know, Geo-Force); quite the contrary. By definition, the JSA was composed of characters who couldn't hold their own titles. It was a testing ground for potential characters; the ones who seemed to be most popular might get a shot at their own series. And, when they did, they left the JSA (as Jay Garrick did). That's why "honorary" members (Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman) almost never appeared and when they did took no part in the action; they would overshadow the real members of the JSA.

If you've actually read Golden Age JSA stories, you know that, unlike the JLA,the JSA almost never acted as a team, per se. They were, well, a society. Almost invariably, they were presented with a common problem at one of their meetings, then they split up, each member dealing with a different aspect of the problem. They coordinated their activities with one another, but, unlike the JLA, they weren't really a unified fighting force. Usually, they just got together at the end of their separate adventures to compare notes and laugh at what an idiot Johnny Thunder was.

You know what bridged the gap between the JSA and the JLA?

Yup. The Legion.

First Appearances
JSA: 1940
Legion: 1958
JLA: 1960
X-Men: 1963

I added that last one in there for those few benighted folk who think, "the Legion is kind of like the X-Men." No; it isn't. The X-Men are kind of like the Legion. Marvel didn't invent groups of snotty mono-powered teenagers with complex relationships being nasty to one another; DC did. And, if you subtract the superpowers, Archie Comics did.

Like the JSA, the LSH was/is composed of heroes who don't stand on their own (as in, have their own titles or solo adventures apart from their membership in the organization). Like the JSA, most of the members are pretty much "one-trick ponies", as opposed to the JLAers, who each have a variety of abilities or ways of applying their abilities (except for, you know, Geo-Force). Like the JSA, they basically got together because it seemed like it would be fun or interesting to work together; they are, at heart, a "club", just as the JSA was a "society". So, in those senses, the Legion is more like the JSA than the JLA is.

But then there are aspects of the LSH that presaged the way JLA works. Like JLAers, Legionnaires sometimes work on solo missions, but more commonly work in small groups with other members. Like the JLA, when occasions warrant, they fight en masse, and are experienced in teamwork, coordinating their attacks, using the powers in tandem, and covering one another's back. The Legion, like the League, is paramilitary.

In the Golden Age, the JSAers all had pretty much the same personality, just different powers. Yes, even the Spectre. The Legionnaires, over time, developed personalities (in the broadest sense) of their own: Brainy was impatient, Saturn Girl was a bit frosty, Lightning Lad was a jerk, Colossal Boy was none too bright, Bouncing Boy was upbeat, etc. While the JLAers started out like the JSA, stamped with the same personality, they followed the Legion's pattern of evolving the members as individuals.

Even more, the Legion pioneered the idea of particular relationships between individual members, i.e., some members got along with each other better than others. This is a pattern that JLA would also follow (e.g., Hawkman and the Atom were pals; Hawkman and Green Arrow were not). The JSA was never like that; they never disagreed about anything. Their toughest decisions were about who would go tackle dissatisfaction among the chewing gum workers at the Cleveland factory ("That Cleveland job's my baby!") and who would deal with fifth columnists infiltrating the paper clip consortium in Kansas ("It's Kansas for me, boy!").

So, although the Legion says they take inspiration from the JLA, from my perspective, it's the other way around! It was the Legion that paved the conceptual path for the JLA to be so different from the JSA, and, as the guardian of that transition, it has elements common to both groups.

____________

P.S. Another note on JSA and the Legion.

How many times have I heard:

"Oh, Legion is so confusing and has too many characters!"


Okay, you got me there. If you have trouble remembering who Bouncing Boy, Lightning Lad, Shrinking Violet, Chameleon, Invisible Kid, Element Lad, Colossal Boy, Shadow Lass, Triplicate Girl, and Brainiac 5 are and what they can do, then, yes, you probably lack the attention span required to read a 22 page comic book. For Mort's sake, people! For most of the Legionnaires you just need to hear the names; you don't even need to see them to get the essence of what you need to know.

If you'll check Wikipedia, you'll see 37 Legionnaires, past and present (well, it's all future, but you know what I mean). If you do the same thing for the JSA, guess how many members you'll find: 37.

And the JSA doesn't have codenames that are nearly as mnemonic (Boxing Man! Cat Person and Bird Woman! Lightning-Fast Oldster! Medicine Man! Exploding Kid! Dream Man! Know-It-All 2!)

The Legion gets a "bad rep" because it's one comic into which an entire universe gets stuffed. Imagine that the entire present day DCU had to be represented in one comic book; it would seem pretty complicated!

Batman the Game

Do you remember this game?


As I child, I owned it; a birthday gift, as I recall.

It's a painfully simply, one-track game, but I remember it's attraction being the illustrations. As you can see, the games uses only Golden Age art, even though it was produced in the 1970s.

I remember studying the Joker's hair, in particular, and copy the shading technique to give hair weight and texture. I also remember being displeased by the coloring errors on Two-Face. I guess I'm an inker, at heart.

Hawks & Haters

He-Man Hawkhaters Club (9 figures at 398 points)

ID	Name	Points
o090	o090: Unique Injustice League (tm) Gentleman Ghost (tm)	83
cdF004	cdF004: Feat Injustice League (tm) The Society (tm)	0
cd064	cd064: Rookie Calculator (tm) Dr. Light (tm)	57
leF002	leF002: Feat None Damage Shield	10
ic021	ic021: Veteran None Blackfire (tm)	76
o026	o026: Experienced None Shadow Thief (tm)	47
cdF003	cdF003: Feat None Ambush	5
cdF006	cdF006: Feat None Running Start	5
le093	le093: Unique Kingdom Come (tm) Hawkman (tm)	115

versus

Hawks & Co (6 figures at 400 points)

ID	Name	Points
o060	o060: Veteran Justice Society (tm) Hawkman (tm)	135
U018	U018: Veteran Justice League (tm) Hawkgirl (tm)	51
o003	o003: Veteran Police (tm) Blackhawks (tm)	35
o048	o048: Veteran Justice League (tm) Atom (tm)	64
U070	U070: Rookie None Doctor Fate (tm)	85
o002	o002: Experienced Police (tm) Blackhawks (tm)	30

Things That Made Me Happy...

in my comics this week.


The new house ads for the Flash. Heh. Heh heh.

Hey! Tom Kamalku really is an Eskimo! We need more good artists like Daniel Acuna, folks.

Hal Jordan frenching a Zamaron in the midst of battle. I make fun of Hal alot, but as I've said before, his unpredictability and lateral thinking really do make him the best.

In solving his immediate problem with a kiss, Hal creates a much larger -- like, universe-threatening -- problem. Ladies and gentlemen; Hal Jordan!

So, Donna isn't calling Hippolyta "mother"? Interesting...

Leonidas the Wonder Lion. He needs to become permanent member of the Wonder Woman cast.

What -- no female lions on Themyscira?

Crazed obsessed scientists doing dangerous experiments in downtown Metropolis that go horribly wrong, turning them into power-drunk supervillains. Kurt Busiek knows what makes Metropolis interesting.

Superman snarking off to reporter Lois Lane, then trying to mollify it lamely. Plus, Kurt Busiek knows what makes Clark Kent an interesting person and a good reporter.

Brainy invents a timeviewer. Well, of course, he does! I love the Legion.

Chamelon and Invisible Kid calling Brainy on his BS.

Proof that the Supermullet was in a different universe.

The Brainiac family reunion.

The return of the fabulous Sensor Girl!

Liberty Belle, like any newlywed, tries to fix up her friends with blind dates. And, like Jesse, I love the idea of Wonder Woman going out with Mister America, whoever he is now.

Oh, for those who didn't buy the Superman Family Showcase... Jimmy Olsen once gained the power of superspeed in "Jimmy Olsen, Speed Demon" (Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen 15, September 1956). Just so you know.

Lightray dying. I just hate the New Gods.

Superman's pal, Jaime Reyes. You deserve to be reading Blue Beetle, you know.

Adam Beechen on Titans is a wonderful gust of fresh air. Thanks to his writing, I even enjoyed the teen angsty parts. And he does a GREAT job with Nightwing & Robin and Troia & Wonder Girl.

My New Art

I'm the proud new owner of some artwork by Patrick Gleeson.

This one is, of course, the crowning jewel: it's the first page of the Pfeiffer run on Aquaman. You know ... the one that had Aquaman in it.


That alone would make it worthwhile, regardless of what it was a picture of. But it's a dead floating panda. Not only is that one of the most brilliantly synoptic images in comics that's been created during my lifetime, it is a perfect example of the appropriate use of silent panels and cinematic technique (which I've railed against when they are used for decompression). Besides, like any true Washingtonian, I harbor a secret, seething hatred of all things panda.

This next one is another masterpiece of comic book illustration, where words are not necessary; it's the first view of the new coastline of San Diego.

Note how the panels "pan out" in subject, from the intimate loss of a single loved one to the vast scope of the entire disaster. Oh, Sub Diego, we hardly knew ye.

The third may not impress you much, "why, it's mostly some fish in panels without the background filled in!" Ah, but it's one of my favorite comic book pages of all time, in its subtlety and power. Yep, it's just fish swimming in an aquarium in their usual random way. That is, until the last panel, where they are suddenly facing the same way. Toward to the sea. Toward Aquaman. Who's coming.

It's enormously creepy and a reminder of how scarily powerful Aquaman is; he's not a mere force of nature, he's a force over nature. He tosses around the biosphere like Batman would a batarang.

The final one doesn't have the same kind of simple power as the others, but it's a marvelous example of the use of different visual ranges to tell a story and the use of different spaces to contextualize the images with one another. Besides, it's got both Lorena and Koryak.


I'm still trying to figure out where to display these in my house and which (if any!) should be at the DC Big Monkey store.

I think the dead floating panda one will just go over my bed.

Groovy Chick Month 11: Mrs. Thirteen

If Daphne from Scooby-Doo lived in the DCU, whom would she grow up to marry?

Dr. Thirteen!

Marie Thirteen is today's groovy chick. Dr. Thirteen may be somewhat unprepossessing, but, his wife? Va-va-va-voom!

This is how she looks when suddenly awakened by a strange noise in a spooky house.
How does she walk in that thing?

Intelligent and independent, she's also every bit the ghostbreaker her husband is.



Nor is she your typical damsel-in-distress. Here she is breaking a large vase on the head of an extraterrestrial invader; yes, really.

Marie Thirteen--Vasebreaker!

And she's a lusty woman, not afraid of her needs! Here she is hungrily eyeing Dr. Thirteen's butt:

Terry, is that a table leg, or are you just happy to see me?

She seems to have passed away at some point (due to "magic-related causes"), it's still a bit vague whether she was Traci Thirteen's biological mother or what. It's quite hard to picture her living in "Hell's Heart, Washington D.C.'s worst neighborhood" (*snicker*). I am SO sure.

It doesn't make much sense to me, but then again, she lives in universe where no one questions Hawkman's continuity. Still, such a groovy chick, central to backstory of two such interesting characters as Terry and Traci Thirteen, deserves a better, fuller end-story.

I wish some writer would tell it.

BIG MONKEY PODCAST IS UP!

THE FIRST BIG MONKEY COMICS PODCAST is now available on line!

Thank you for your suggested "Do's and Don't's"; they were very helpful and we did our best to follow them. I hope you enjoy the show, because we certainly had fun doing it. Please be merciful with your feedback (it is our first attempt at such a thing and we hope to improve).

Once Ben figures out how to set up "the RSS feed", it will also available on what my grandchildren call "the I-Tunes" so you can listen to it on something called "the I-Pod". If you know how to do that, please go tell him.

The podcast features some bloggers you just may have heard of before:

• Ben Hatton of Those Wednesdays as "The Voice of Moderation";
• Devon Sanders of Seven Hells as "The Voice of Black Manta"
• Scipio Garling of the Absorbascon as "The Voice of Aquaman"
• Jonnie Brooks of Jon Hex Lives as "The Voice of Experience" and
• Jon Carey of Facedown in the Gutters as "The Voice of Johnnie Walker".

Our topics are the current writing on JLA, Marvel's 50 State Initiative, and Decompression in Modern Comics Writing. Any topics you'd like to see us discuss on future podcasts? Just write Ben and let him know.

This podcast was easy for us to arrange because conversations like this go on all the time at Big Monkey (and I mean ALL the time). Please join us at Big Monkey, where the Conversation About Comics is non-stop fun!

Shocking Revelation

I am such an idiot. I can't believe Brad fooled me like this! And please forgive me if you figured this out already yourself.

But I didn't figure it out until this morning.

The Legionnaires aren't in the present to resurrect Lightning Lad.

They are here to someone else entirely, using lightning.

Someone who helps New Earth discover Earth One (the Bronze Age version of Earth); someone who will in the near future make it possible for New Earth and Earth One to team up to (somehow) preserve the version of the 31st Century that these Legionnaires call home. That's why they had to come to the past.

In fact, Lightning Lad is surely the final member of their team and should arrive any issue now; he's probably the source of the lightning they use in their resurrection scheme, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if he loses his arm in the process.

It's the only thing answer that puts all the puzzle pieces into place, including why retailers have been encouraged to double their orders on an upcoming issue of a particular comic.

Nice one, Brad; very, very nice. I owe you one.

Great Things

The new "GOON" shirt that's now available from Big Monkey's on-line store, in a wide variety of colors to match any supervillain's outfit.

____

Best thing I've found at Wikipedia for a long time comes from the entry on Tyroc.

Scream effects

Among the screams in Tyroc's arsenal:

• EEYYAAAHH! - pyrokinesis
• AHHRRRRRR! - force field
• OYYUUUUUU! - teleportation
• ARRRRHHHH! - explosions
• ZZZRRRUUGGHH! - telekinesis
• UIUUIEEEE! - transmutation
• ARRREEEEG! - weather manipulation
• IRRRRWWWW! - chlorokinesis
• CCCIIIRRR! - vertigo
• RRRYYYY! - wind manipulation

______

Jon's new sidebar item over at Facedown in the Gutters.



Heh. Heh heh. Speaking of Jon, he was part of the Big Monkey podcast last weekend; it was great to have him there, except we kept breaking up every time he said, "I write Facedown in the Gutters". Well, that would explain a great many things, Jon...
_______

The new "Duo Character" figures that will coming out in the summer Heroclix sets.

"Duo Characters
A character with the attack symbol
is a duo character. Duo characters may
not be carried and have the Duo Attack
special ability.
DUO ATTACK (optional):
Give the character a power
action to make a duo attack. It makes two separate
attacks against opposing characters as free actions
(making two separate attack rolls). These attacks
may be close combat attacks, or ranged combat
attacks with a single target. Resolve the first attack
before making the second; the character’s damage
value is modified by –1 for the second attack, to a
minimum damage value of 1. If the character is KOd
as a result of the first attack in a duo attack, the
second attack is not made."

We don't know yet who might be on such dials, but it's interesting to speculate! I hope it's used to make generics (say, GOONS) with a little more utility.

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Blockade Boy has gone back to weekday posting. Thank god.

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My new SUB DIEGO heroclix map, which came in the mail this week from Xion! It's subtastic! Thanks again to Kyle Latino for designing it; Kyle, all water-breathers thank you.

Just for you, Hal!

Who says I don't like Hal Jordan?!

I made him Power Battery pogs to recharge him during Heroclix games. I've had custom Heroclix made of some of his good friends, like Black Hand, Dr. Polaris, and Sonar. Why, I even gave him a heavy yellow lamp!

But some people are never satisfied, and fans of Hal are at the top of that list. So I wanted to make Hal some special bystanders tokens, something to really enliven his Heroclix game, to bring meaning to his play.

Ah! I have just the thing!


And using the Green Lantern Team Ability....


he can juggle EIGHT of them at a time!

Groovy Chick Month 10: Cassandra Craft

Okay, put on your thinking cap: without knowing anything about her at all, who is automatically, conceptually, by definition the grooviest chick in the entire DCU?

Why, the Phantom Stranger's girlfriend, of course. I mean, Julius H. Schwartz, I feel special just because I'm in the guy's extended network, and she's his GIRLFRIEND.

She's the girlfriend of the Phantom Stranger, who could have any man, woman, or mythical construct he wanted. And she just gets groovier from that point on, if such a thing is possible.

Kind?


She rescued the Phantom Stranger after he got mugged on New York subway and nursed him back to health. And she was smart enough to know to leave his gloves on, because if you take them off, the multiverse ends. Happened once, in 1985, I think.

Oh, and, yes, he really did get mugged on the subway. Mystically mugged, mind you, but mugged nonetheless.

Beautiful?


And tough enough to survive simultaneous attacks by Dracula and Frankenstein's monster. She's also psychic. Not a "the Padres will win this year" kind of psychic. A "I know certain things when I need to know them" kind of psychic. Would you expect any less of the Phantom Stranger's girlfiend?

If you're wondering how any mortal could possibly gaze upon the full glory of the Phantom Stranger naked (well ... except for the gloves) and survive, well ... she can, because she's blind. Hence the pink outfit.

Her own grooviness is the only fashion accessory she needs. Although in Grant Morrison's Zatanna miniseries (issue 2) she's wearing the Phantom Stranger's medallion.

Just let that sink in.

The Phantom Stranger
let
her
wear
his
medallion.

That's Cassandra Craft. Here she is sassing the friggin' Phantom Stranger when he tries to pull his "I walk a path none should follow" routine.

Wait -- did she just call a man in an opera cape and fedora ridiculous?

"What? Like I'm going to stay here rather than traipse off to a desert in Egypt with a weirdly dressed nameless guy I found unconscious last night in a subway station?
What kind of a wuss do you take me for, Mister?!"

I've read lots of comics and most of the ones that have the Phantom Stranger in them. In all of that, I can think of only five characters who've ever sassed the Phantom Stranger and lived to tell about it: The Spectre, Darkseid, Eclipso, Dr. Thirteen, and Cassandra Craft. That's might impressive company.

There are none so blind as those who will not see the grooviness of Cassandra Craft. If you know her, you love her. And if you love her, you are ...

the Phantom Stranger.