The Acolytes of Dibney shake our heads in sadness at the unfortunate depths of your confusion.
Women cannot help but be drawn to our Elongated Saviour, as he is the manliest of all men. This is a sign of his omnipotent charisma and not, as you so crudely suggested, proof that he is capable of so base an emotion as lust. He does not lust for any of the women surrounding him; he knows only love for his beloved Sue (Blessed Be Her Name! Her Resurrection Is Nigh Upon Us!). He cannot help it if one of his ardent admirers cannot control her impulses and is compelled to steal a kiss from his glorious lips. He is a victim of her lack of willpower, and it would take a truly hard hearted soul to suggest that he "Was asking for it," simply because of his incredible Dibney-ness.
And we are also galled by your suggestion that Sue is capable of being at all envious of the devotion he inspires in others. What you see expressed in this moment is not envy, but heartfelt concern! Sue is afraid that her devoted husband risks his true calling of solving mysteries by pursuing other activities with his same divine excellance. She understands that if he chooses to be an activities director, he will be the greatest activities director in the world, but that such an honorific is not truly worthy of his efforts.
The A of D truly despair to see you continue your Sisyphean attempts to defame He Who Is The Stretchiest of all Who Stretch (if we didn't know better we might suspect that you were a disciple of our bitter enemies the A of O'B) but please feel free to roll your rock of lies up the hill of heresy, we will always be there at the top to knock it back down again.
"Hello, ladies! I'm the World Famous Elongated Lust.
5 comments:
Silver age ralph was a wierd looking guy.
Look at those cheekbones, and jawline!
He's like some horrible love child of Jay Leno and an egg of silly putty.
Thought you might apreciate this:
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The Acolytes of Dibney shake our heads in sadness at the unfortunate depths of your confusion.
Women cannot help but be drawn to our Elongated Saviour, as he is the manliest of all men. This is a sign of his omnipotent charisma and not, as you so crudely suggested, proof that he is capable of so base an emotion as lust. He does not lust for any of the women surrounding him; he knows only love for his beloved Sue (Blessed Be Her Name! Her Resurrection Is Nigh Upon Us!). He cannot help it if one of his ardent admirers cannot control her impulses and is compelled to steal a kiss from his glorious lips. He is a victim of her lack of willpower, and it would take a truly hard hearted soul to suggest that he "Was asking for it," simply because of his incredible Dibney-ness.
And we are also galled by your suggestion that Sue is capable of being at all envious of the devotion he inspires in others. What you see expressed in this moment is not envy, but heartfelt concern! Sue is afraid that her devoted husband risks his true calling of solving mysteries by pursuing other activities with his same divine excellance. She understands that if he chooses to be an activities director, he will be the greatest activities director in the world, but that such an honorific is not truly worthy of his efforts.
The A of D truly despair to see you continue your Sisyphean attempts to defame He Who Is The Stretchiest of all Who Stretch (if we didn't know better we might suspect that you were a disciple of our bitter enemies the A of O'B) but please feel free to roll your rock of lies up the hill of heresy, we will always be there at the top to knock it back down again.
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