Crossover Cameo

 In the Golden Age, this is what a crossover looked like:

THAT is how desperate they were to get you to read The Star-Spangled Kid. 

Joker-overexposure is not a purely modern-day phenomenon. He was the Harley Quin of his day...

Lazarus Planet

During its "Explore the Universe Panel" at New York Comic Con on Thursday, DC announced its first 2023 event: Lazarus Planet.

Gee, a giant crossover event based on the signature magic wand prop of Batman's least interesting foe, a Fu Manchu rip-off who, despite limitless time and resources, is less effective in his eco-goals than Greta Thunberg.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, the Martian Manhunter could become mentally unstable. 
But, as Dorothy Parker said when Calvin Coolidge died,
"How can they tell?"

Quite a lot, I'm sure. I can already tell from the solicits that this will follow a familiar pattern. To wit: DC wants to make some big line-wide changes, so instead of just, you know, doing them...

If Kanigher were here, he'd just shove Damian Wayne
and "Sideways" in a drawer and that would be it.

they are building them into a story that makes the changes happen diegetically. DC loves doing this. 

DC invented doing this.

So, they take a throwaway device that was introduced for convenience for one story, one which has grow monstrously overused in the 50 years across all continuity since, and they blow it even more wildly out of proportion so they can use it alter the status quo.

Literally.

In Crisis on Infinite Earths, the device was the parallel universe concept introduced in the Flash of Two Worlds story shown above (which grew monstrously over the years with each 'crisis' crossover with Earth-2,-3,-S,-X,etc.).  

The anti-matter universe from Green Lantern was piled on, too, because Hal Jordan can always be relied upon to tagalong on Barry's nonsense.

In Zero Hour, it was the Time Trapper, who had become a recurring and increasingly powerful foe of the Legion of Super-Heroes. 

Courtesy of the Legion of Superbloggers: The Time-Trapper being waapped by the imbecilic Wonder Twins, in the days before he used to casually alter all of reality repeatedly.
I hope he didn't land on any universes in his pockets when he fell.

In Infinite Crisis, the device was Superboy Prime, a throwaway character from Crisis on Infinite Earths, who was blown up into a being of nearly limitless power into order to accomplish the editorial aims of the crossover from inside the boundaries of the story. 

Actually, Superboy Prime was introduced the year before in DC Comics Presents 87,  but who cares about him any more? In one version of reality, he BECAME the Time Trapper, but the less one thinks about such things, the more sleep one gets.

In the Flashpoint/New 52, the device was the key figure in the concept of the multiverse: Barry Allen (or, more accurately, his ability to alter the timeline, a power that grew monstrously since its introduction). 

Always remember that, appearances notwithstanding, Barry Allen is DC's greatest monster.

Then All Known Heroes will be thrown together in grab-bag combos to deal with the situation, including: 

Highly Iconic Ones (the JLAers and such), 

Congratulations, DC; that's Batman's third-most ludicrous hat.

Niche Characters That Somebody Likes (Harley Quin, Poison Ivy, Power Girl, Raven)

"On this week's episode of Our Man, Hal, hilarity ensues when Karen uses Hal's power battery in one of her personal pleasure devices."

Characters DC Always Insists You Like (Cyborg, Firestorm, Natasha Irons);

Of course, it could always be worse.
Actually, if they ever used this sassy queen of the quantumverse version instead of the Silver Surfer knockoff, I'd be willing to give him a try. Um, I mean as a part of the DCU.

New Characters The Publisher Wants to Jumpstart (Monkey Prince, Dreamer, City Boy, The Twins); 

So, they both have queues? Oh, that won't be confusing to readers at all. They aren't old enough to have even grown their hair that long yet, unless they are ghosts in an Asian horror movie.
I guess now that we no longer have a child-from-nowhere in the Superman dynasty, two cropped up to take his slot (who are of course twins). Sigh--comics.

and Existing Characters The Publisher Wants to Revitalize (Mercy Graves, Question, Super-Man, Connor Kent, Supergirl).

I love these designs, but there is NO way they will last because there is MUCH too much muchness going on there. Stop hiring Alan Scott as as a costume consultant; Tim Gunn he ain't.

It will be an insane mess, but impossible to ignore because major changes will hinge upon it, including important changes to the status quo and elements of the origin of new characters.  Regardless, in time, storytellers will distance themselves from its stupider ramifications and start ignoring it, directly or indirectly undermining the roots of the new status quo.

Example:  I am pretty sure that Superman's secret identity is secret again, isn't it?  And yet, Jon Kent's first date with, um, that reporter kid with pink hair, was interrupted by Some Villain dropping a bomb on them at the Kent Farm and blowing it to smithereens because everyone knows the Kents are Superman's parents and that's how Jon finds out his boyfriend (Johnny Nelson, cub reporter?) has powers.  

It's Jay Nakamura, by the way.
I think DC could have tried to make Jon's relationship a bit less yaoi.
Maybe give the kid, you know, red hair and a bow tie, like a regular reporter.

Even if I'm not (yet) right about that exact example, there are plenty of others (I'm sure you can cite them!)  Tying character origins or changes into crossover events that will inevitably become dated is always a bad idea. And yet.

Oh, I'm sure there will be lots of changes from this I will enjoy.  I've always thought that Batman should run around Gotham City fighting muggers with the Helm of Nabu!  That what the Superman Family lacked was twin members who looked liked they worked on building the transcontinental railroad. That Power Girl should shoot energy blasts from her pelvic region.  That Mercy Graves needed to become the next Harley Quin.  That you just can't have enough Trigon Family.  That all Supergirl needs is another new costume. That Monkey Prince was going to be the Sensational Character Find of 2022.

Drawing from myth and folklore can work but this is WAY too on the nose.

Seriously, it looks like they are giving Jon Kent Electric Blue Superman power(s), which might be an interesting way of distinguishing him from his father.  But keep everything else I've said here about Lazarus Planet in mind because it's going to come in handy elsewhere pretty soon....

Apex Lex is discount Neron

I have been wondering lately why no one but me seems to be rolling eyes at DC's current crossover schtick. I mean the "Doom" one with "Apex Lex" (which slows me down every time I type or read it, because I need to involuntarily eyeroll). Not the one with Leviathan.  Or the one with the Doomsday Clock.  Or the one that I probably don't even know about that probably involves Aquaman, because isn't there ALWAYS some Aquaman-based crossover happening at all times now...?

Doom is the one where they have cobbled together some folderol about Lex dying but getting better and embracing nihilism so that they could find some storyline excuse for the name "Legion of Doom", and being empowered by the latest new Cosmic Entity that is Beyond, Above, and Before all the OTHER previous Cosmic Entities because now we know the real story of the universe / multiverse / omniverse / metaverse / diversiverse / free verse.  Speaking of pretentious entities, all you kids who laugh at Silver Age names like "Starro" and "Despero" and "Amazo" can get off my lawn and read your comics about "Perpetua" and "Apex Lex" somewhere else.

Now-cosmically-empowered Lex is skittering about Earth offering Faustian power upgrades to any and almost all villains like he's the Exchange Counter in a DCUO game; "I'll offer you Spiked Synthium Shoulderguards and a Soder Cola if you agree to continue to be evil, which you are already doing for nothing."  

This ridiculous "Let's Make a Deal" routine is SUCH a clear copy of the demon Neron in the "Underworld Unleashed" storyline that I've been amazed that no one seems to be noticing it. But then I realized : Underworld Unleashed was 23 years ago, so a lot of readers just don't remember it.

In short, the '90s was the era in which DC, as part of its neoPlatinum age, made a statement of rejecting the moral relativism of anti-heroes and turned up the moral contrast between its heroes and villains.  Underworld Unleashed complemented this approach by using a convenient plot device (a magical demon from Hell!) to give power-ups to whatever villains DC wanted to make sexy again.  

That's part of a era-based cycle in comics. Over time the hero gets more powerful or SEEMS to be, because he keeps defeating his Rogue's Gallery again and again.  In short, Batman (or any other hero) always starts out like this:

What's this? The Cape Crusader pwned by the Penny Plunderer?!

and winds up like this:

Darkseid, killed by the man who was pwned by the Penny Plunderer

One of the signals that a continuity cycle is re-initializing is when the hero is de-powered or his villains get powered-up.  "Uh-oh! NOW you must BEWARE the Polka-Dot Man!"

"In exchange for your soul I shall give you...
this baseball bat!"

Villains who rely on gadgets for their abilities are granted "power internalization"; cold guns are replaced by ice powers, heat guns are replaced by pyrokinetics, the Prankster gets nanobots with which to craft props out of thin air.  Never forget that Underworld Unleashed turned Killer Moth into "Charaxes" and tried to sell us that as an improvement.

"What If...."

"...Alan Moore had created Killer Moth?"

"Apex Lex" is doing the same thing now, and, I note, making some of the same offers to the same villains. Somehow even though Carl Sands' original shadow-suit was eerie and powerful and then Neron gave him an upgraded one and now he's getting ANOTHER upgraded shadow-suit from Lex, he STILL comes off as a yutz.

Somehow you know that the Shade would STILL kick his ass, and without scuffing his shoes.

Lex's DoomShopping Network is also skipping some of the same villains previously skipped, such as the Riddler, who gets no offer from Lex (and demands to know why), who refused any offer from Neron, and who, you'll recall, was the only major villain in the "No Man's Land" crossover to do the sensible thing and just leave Gotham City.  The Riddler is immune to power upgrades because what he can do has nothing to do with 'powers'; his only limitation lies in what the WRITERS can do with him.

Lex, like Neron, is giving villains upgrades mostly just so that they can be bigger pains in the ass for heroes and as part of some Bigger Picture where he benefits from The Triumph of Evil.  Despite Lex's OWN upgrade from "Perpetua" (*snort*), his QVC-level offers seem pretty crappy.  Giving Cheetah a mystical artifact of the kind archeologist Barbara Minerva could dig up herself? Giving Black Manta a giant black mecha, which is the kind of thing Black Manta puts together in his garage on the weekends?  Giving Brainiac his 10,000th upgrade? At this point, I'm just hoping for a Steam version of Brainiac, so that the upgrades are automatic upon login.  Silver Age Lex, I remind you, could have outdone all this with some bed spring coils and the warden's busted transistor radio.

Yup; Lex Luthor invented Twitter.

The only difference this time around is that Lex seems to be making offers to heroes as well (Batgirl, Red Hood, Martian Manhunter), but, of course, those come to nothing. Those are mere exercises in showing us how good the good guys are by refusing to make a deal with the worst person they know, who is currently trying to bring about the end of the universe.

The end result of this event is certain: the DCiverse will NOT be destroyed, any classic villains who were powered up will, over time, return to their classic forms, and a few less-than-classic villains will retain their power ups, get a few good licks in against their traditional foe, and either take their place on a higher tier in their respective Rogue's Galleries or it will be collectively, silently decided that they are more useful as background Z-list bad guys, so their power ups will fade away until they finally move to Star City to fight Green Arrow.

I think there are a LOT of villains in Star City who'd love to hear from you, Apex Lex.  Then again, they are fighting Green Arrow... do they really NEED upgrades?