The Death Sled, Part 3: FIGURE THIS!

We left Speed as he went to boss around all the druggists in town to find out who bought the digitalis that poisoned Tommy Dell. Before his head was smashed in with a hammer. And then he was wired to a sled which was rammed into a tree.  

Fortunately for Speed's schedule (and the town's druggists) it turns out to be the first druggist Speed visits.  

"I'm Speed Saunders and I want you to tell me something.
You're an unnamed druggist and you want to tell me."

Oh, now he's a SPECIAL Investigator. Must have happened off-panel.

This druggist takes AN ENTIRE PANEL of Speed's time to look this information up. Brave fellow.

By the way, you know where you went in 1936, if you wanted to kill some rats?  The druggist, apparently.

Speed arrived just in time; one hour later the druggist's head exploded from over-largeness.

Then we get a Speed-explanation about why the murder would poison a boy, then smash his head in with a hammer and it makes about as much sense as you'd think.

I guess if Speed says that's a thing that blood clots do, I can't question him.

Stop a second to appreciate the irony of SPEED SAUNDERS giving us a lesson in not making any hasty or rash deductions.  As for why the sled, well, I've already explained that myself: it makes a better story title.

That's not at ALL how that works, Speed.

In the interest of time and wrapping up the story, Speed completely misrepresents the legal process and double jeopardy. He's got a murderer to catch and since it's obviously not Miss Evarts (because she's The Dame), there's only one person IN the story.  I mean, other than Constable Safetybelt and those guys don't count.

Points if you remember that "Jameson" was the name of the butler.

Speed's obviously determined who the murderer is, but having babbled away too much already about the method he's left without enough palaver for his ending Speed-explanation, which needs to be fulsome enough to overwhelm the murder and dizzy the reader. So, where does he go for the answer....?

Where else?

THE LIBRARY.

It ain't the Metropolitan, but it'll have to do.

Let's see; given the amount of panels left, picking up the first book and reading it should do the trick (just as CobraMisfit predicted yesterday).

Those curtains really do get around.

Then, just like Eddie Valiant understanding "the Cloverleaf Connection", Speed gets it.

"That lame-brained freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon."

Speed's not the only one who's going to get it, as Jameson arrives.

Be glad that you, the reader, cannot see the Face of Judgement.

Here it comes; BRACE YOURSELVES!

Please note how close Jameson and Speed are;
it will be important later. 

THE FACE OF JUDGEMENT CONDEMNS THEE!

Well, that was a... wait, let me stop and think about that.  

So, I'm Jameson and the family is away except for Tommy, and I want to look for the jewels (because, okay, sure, jewels, isn't it always jewels?) but instead of waiting until Tommy goes out--say, SLEDDING-- I do it while Tommy is AROUND the house, so I get caught. Okay. that's dumb. So, assuming I can't play it off ("Look, sir! I found them for you!"), I've got to kill Tommy so I grab the closest... um....syringe of digitalis? And inject a struggling youth with it? Or do I hit him on the head and knock him out and THEN inject him with digitalis? And then drag him to the shed to bash his head in with a hammer, so that... no one will think the boy died of a heart attack? THEN I wire him by his easily scarred wrists to a sled and shove him down a hill into a thicket of trees where he lands with a thudding sickening thump that a neighbor is close enough to HEAR but NOT close enough to reach before I myself walk down the road (because I am clever enough to use a ROAD), tromp out to the trees, snip the wires, tromp back to the road, go back to the garage (because it's cold out), where I drop the damning evidence of the wires without any concern, then on the way back to the house, whack a hole in the pond with the hammer and drop it to the bottom?  Also, I do all this in formal wear and then casually greet the nosy neighbor who must have been RIGHT behind me and who seems to have pulled an Ace Investigator OUT OF THIN AIR not five minutes after I murdered this kid?  Jeez, no wonder I didn't have a snappy comeback when they showed up at the front door.

Well, I'm not sure that makes me a mastermind, per se, but it's certainly... impressive.  After that spate of criminal improv work worthy of "Whose Crime Is It Anyway?", it turns out Jameson is much better prepared than you would expect because he

PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS SPEED SAUNDERS AT POINT BLANK RANGE.

I told you to remember how close Jameson and Speed were.

Any ordinary being would, of course, just... be dead.  But the mad god Speed Saunders simply WILLS AWAY THE GUNSHOT and fires back.

Note that they are STILL the same distance apart.

There is NO WAY the Jameson could miss Speed. Nor it is one of those 'only a flesh wound' situations, because Speed is pretty clearly non-shot.  My only vaguely rational explanation is in the weirdly angled table and falling lamp, which may imply that Speed... saw Jameson getting out his gun, so he lifted the table with his left hand to block the shot while getting out his gun with his right.   

There's simply no TIME to show it so it all happens in one panel, I suppose.

Hand bandaged off-panel, in the interest of time.

The Death Sled, Part 2: The True Murder Weapon

Speed, being an Ace Investigator, has the brilliant idea of following the tracks that led to and from the body.

AGAIN, he could have been a cutter. Was Ellie Nash's suffering entirely in vain?!

It turns out (despite having left clear tracks to and from the body, making it obvious it wasn't a suicide) the criminal was a mastermind! The murder cleverly walked ON THE ROAD.

When your transportation consists almost entirely of tesseracts, silhouettes, and the Speedmobile, the idea of walking on a road seems pretty innovative.

Speed follows his hunch and heads for the garage, not only because Speed's hunches are invariably correct, but because it's cold out.

Because it's cold out.

Speed searches the garage for vital clues, and, naturally, finds some, because whatever Speed wants to happen, the universe will make happen, if the universe knows what's good for it.

Nothing you see in this panel is a vital clue.

I think Speed finds the wires that were used to bind Tommy Dell to his sled, but it's a bit hard to tell from the art. Not as hard to tell as Ming Toy's blood arrow from the Chinatown murder, mind you, but still a bit hard.

That's "skin" for us laymen.

After manhandling with his bare hands the evidence that he hopes carries traces of the victim's skin, Speed strides out into the universe, confidence that it will continue to obediently provide him with clues. Which it does.

"I may find some interesting goldfish frozen in there. They're something of a hobby of mine, you know."

Without a city's worth of authority figures to boss around, all of Speed's ridiculous and imperious demands fall into the muffled mitts of Miss Evarts (and, through her, Constable Safetybelt).

"Also, a yo-yo, a live chicken, and a volume of Oriental lore. I'll wait here, thinking up more absurd demands."

That's not really a "grappling net" it's a fishing net, but Speed kind of lives in his own idiomatic linguaverse.  Speed has the constable do the grunt work because, I mean, really now, have you seen what Speed's wearing?  He's not going to risk get pond scum on his winter-white fedora.

The constable, like all authority, bows down before Speed Saunders.

Naturally, Speed finds exactly what he wants, even though he has no idea what he's looking for.

"But... what is it?"
"I HAVE NO TIME FOR DETAILS!"

Ah-ha; the murder weapon! It's a hammer. 

Somehow, Speed thinks it's "very clever" to: whack a boy on the head with a hammer, ditch the weapon in an obvious hole in the nearby pond, tie the body to a sled with wires that leave marks on the body, push the sled down a hill till it (you hope) hits a tree, go down afterwards and (HOPING that no one has yet reached the body, having heard the thudding sickening thump) tromp through the snow to snip off the wire, which you then don't bother to dispose of properly but just let lie around in the garage.

Why not just hang the hammer back up wherever you got it? Why not wedge the boy's clothes into the sled to keep the body on it?  Why not lose the wires in the pond?  So many questions.

A pause to un-ironically appreciate Speed's lack of sexism.

At this point, I'll note that for a store titled "The Death Sled", it's kind of odd that pretty much the very first thing we learn is that... the sled didn't kill anybody. But it is a much more interesting title than "The Death Hammer".

As long as we are paused, let's give you a chance to guess Speed's next move. He's knows there's been a murder and a cover-up.  He's found the body and method and the weapon and has all authority at his disposal.  WHAT DOES HE DO?

... pencils down!

POINTS for everyone who guess "ordered a stomach pumped".

YES; Speed orders the corpse's stomach to be pumped.  Which is a little odd, since you can just cut a corpse's stomach open; the reason you have people's stomachs pumped is because when they are ALIVE it's the only way to get stuff out of their stomach (short of surgery).  It also odd because THE VICTIM'S HEAD WAS BASHED IN. But, hey... Speeds loves to order stomach pumps.

Miss Evarts has an apostrophe problem. Or perhaps it's Dr. Jone's problem.

Speeds gets to boss around another authority figure, Dr. Jones.

"You want me to pump a corpse's stomach? Oh, you must be Speed Saunders!"

Speed doesn't just stand around, because that would waste time, so he conducts fingerprint tests on the murder weapon--the one that's been sitting at the bottom of a frozen lake--but, in vain.

I assume that a good chunk of that hour was just Speed trying to STARE the hammer into confessing.

Amazingly, it turns out that... Speed was RIGHT! For no reason whatsoever, in a scene we never saw, Speed had guessed that Tommy had actually been POISONED BY DIGITALIS.

"Yes, doctor, I insist that digitalis be the poison used in ALL my stories; it saves time."

"The Death Digitalis" is an even worse title than "The Death Hammer".  Anyway, sensing how many pages have already been used up, Speed dashes off to start bossing around every druggist he can find.

"What do you mean MORE than one druggist in town?! I don't have time for that, it damned well better be the first druggist I visit, if he knows what's good for him!"

The Death Sled, Part 1: The Thudding Sickening Thump

Who can save us from the deadly heat wave tightening its fatal grip over a fearful nation?  Not Mr. Freeze or Captain Cold or even Minister Blizzard, but rather the same person who can save us from everything:  

With his pal, "The Death Sled".  Not to be confused with "Death Bed: the Bed that Eats."  But it's really hard to confuse ANYTHING with "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats."

We join Speed doing one of the things he does best: speeding somewhere.

Speed Fact: Speed's tesseract powers function fully only in urban environments.

But where Saunders go, trouble follows. Well, more accurately, it literally runs to meet him.  

No, really, you'd be amazed how often people just run right up to the Speedmobile screaming for help. Must be Speed's kind face.

Some half-crazed cos-player from a "We Are Robin" convention besets Speeds, apparently from both sides of his car.

"Well, yes, of course something terrible has happened: I'm here."

Since dealing with terrible things is pretty much Speed's hobby (that, and his goldfish), his holiday's off to a swinging start.  Miss Mittens explains the calamity.

In Florida are the Dells.
In Florida are the Dells.
All except dead Tommy, oh,
in Florida are the Dells.

Naturally, Speed takes command of this situation, as he does all others.

Speed Fact: Before WWII, only detectives were allowed to call doctors.

Next, the grim Golden Age death scene, with some oozing blood to soothe Speed's murder-mystery-hungry soul.

But, really; what kind of idiot SLEDS to a "We Are Robin" convention?!
Is he some relative of Kite-Man?

Note that what you and I would surely call "sledding" might still at this point be called "sleigh riding" because Tommy's sled had runners.  Regardless, Speed lovingly examines the corpse with the care and attention you'd give a volume on Oriental Lore and Antiquities.

You mean, other than the fact that almost anyone could just roll off a sled before they fatally hit a tree?

Then--as far as I can tell--Speed clearly sees someone else's tracks leading to and away from the body.  That's... a pretty good clue, Speed.

And when Speed wonders aloud, reality hears, and shifts to adjust accordingly.

Then another clue.

You don't know that, Speed. 
The fact that his family left him there while they went to Florida could be significant; maybe he's under stress. Maybe he's cutting himself like Ellie Nash on DeGrassi. You don't know his life, and people like you wouldn't understand.

Meanwhile, Miss Mittens, having spun her yarn about Tommy, continues to unravel, which perfectly complements Speed's woolgathering.

"TELL THEM I WANT AUTHORITY, ALL POSSIBLE AUTHORITY, THEIR WIFI CODES, THEIR NETFLIX PASSWORD, THEIR POWER OF ATTORNEY, AND THE RIGHT TO CONDUCT ANY NECESSARY STOMACH PUMPING, DON'T FORGET THE STOMACH PUMPING!"

This next scene is interesting for reasons beyond the story; it's a sign of the steady apotheosis of Speed Saunders. Note that in the beginning of the story he introduces himself as "a detective from New York". But in this next panel that is already broadened to "investigator Saunders" as if "Investigator" were a title, which it totally isn't.

Oh, a BRAIN concussion? Those are the WORST kind.

I wish Speed Saunders stories weren't so darned RAPID sometimes.  I'm sure that if this snooty butler had the chance he might have rejoined something like, "How fortunate, at least, that Master Tommy struck the tree with fatal force sufficient to spontaneously generate an ace investigator on the spot." Cuz you know that's what Alfred would say.

So, Miss Mittens' name is apparently "Miss Evarts". I mean, she doesn't introduce herself or anything, but Speed already knows who everyone is, so we find out her name when he announces it while trying to shove his face into the phone in an attempt to travel over the telephone wires like the Atom.

"MUST... TRY...TO TESSERACT!"

Apparently, it works and he squeezes not only his face, but the rest of him, and Miss Evarts, through the phone to appear in the constable's office.  There's very little Speed Saunders cannot do if he really sets his face to it.

Speed Fact: In the Golden Age whenever you just happen upon a corpse still oozing blood from a fresh wound, it might summon Speed Saunders. It's kind of a Beetlejuice thing.

Poor Constable Safetybelt.  Even with the limitations of Golden Age art style, you can see his strain to understand.  "So,  the thump... was thudding. And that made it sickening. Or was it sickening already because it was a thump?  When you say it was thudDING, does that mean it thudDED more than once, like thuDUDUDUD? Or would that be thumpumpump? And the fact that the thump was REPEATED made it 'thudding' and ALSO, then, sickening? Is that it?! Please tell me that's it, because we don't get a lot of crime here and I'm really having a lot of trouble processing this..."

Speed and Miss Evarts take Constable Safetybelt back to the crime scene, because, well, mostly so that Speed can stare at the corpse some more.

"And, believe me, I have crashed enough bodies, dead and alive, on sleighs headfirst into trees to know.  It's kind of my hobby. That, and Oriental lore, and my goldfish."