Well, this is where we left Black Hand last time, looking straight out from the page and talking to someone named "Reader". What is that all about?In addition to his awesome power of cliches, Olympic-level note-taking skills, and an 89-cent pen flashlight ("Flashlight? Flashlight! FLASHLIGHT!!!" see at 4:18) with which he sucked up morsels of Green Lantern energy like a leather-tanned old man searching for nickels with a metal detector on the beach, he had one other power. An amazing power. The most rare and unusual in all comics. The power of...TRANSQUARTOMURALISM!
Yes, Black Hand was not only aware of his status as a literary character, he perceived the Fourth Wall and YOU ... AND he read your mind through it. Eat your heart out, Grant Morrison.
"The usual things. You know. Like villainizing in a business suit, in my personal LEGO shop." 
I'll forgo the obvious "closet joke" below...
Mothers of Coast City: heed the warning signs of corruption. If your child hangs its clothes with the hangers facing the wrong way, kill it immediately. Society will thank you.Even in defeat, he still had the power to violate the Fourth Wall, and what's even creepier...
He still does.
Part Two of Black Hand Week, where I show that the creepiest villain around today was originally the biggest goober in comics.
"I hear Death calling my name. I have for as long as I can remember."
Oh, you younguns probably don't believe me, eh? Well, you know what they say, seeing is believing.
See? I told you. You may believe in seeing; but Black Hand believes in the wisdom of cliches.
So, basically, if your grandmother were a supervillain, she'd be Black Hand.
Anyway, before being revamped by Johns, Black Hand didn't get his "power absorber" from an alien; he invented himself. That's what villain used to do. They used to invent inventions that would have made them millionaires if they had patented them. But villains have no patience for the plodding patent process, so they use these inventions to rob jewelry stores.So, while the original Black Hand was a goober, he was a brilliantly inventive goober, one who was both forewarned and forearmed.
Uh... what? Did Black Hand just talk to ... me? What the==?! More on that little eccentricity in the next segment of Black Hand Week.
OOOOooo, Black Hand is SO creepy!
But that's a credit to Geoff Johns and what he does best (the reinvention and revitalization of characters). Since most of you have probably never read a Black Hand story before his recent reappearance, you may not realize what a staggeringly impressive accomplishment this is.
Why? Well, it's one thing to make Hal Jordan cool again. Okay... cool for the first time. Hal was never cool. Hal was always a moron. But he did have a rockhard Ryan Reynolds body, a hotshot job as a pilot, and a nearly omnipotent power ring that could do or make anything his tiny little mind could come up with. Even young Scipio liked Hal "Rockhead" Jordan. I can remember being a lad and pretending to be Green Lantern in my little green Garanimals suit, pretending the swing set was a rocket ship. My parents put a stop to that after the third trip to Children's Hospital to patch up the head injuries.
But Black Hand...?
Black Hand was a total goober.
His shtick was perfecting the art of crime. He was the Crook Who Couldn't Fail. Why?
Because he wrote down everything he learned in a little notebook. I bet you think I'm making that up. I'm not... . 
Goober!
One wonders how many mistakes and trips up the river Black Hand had to take before he filled his Criminal Trapper Keeper with enough hard-won info to dodge the bulls. I'm guessing he's at least a ninety-seven time loser.
Hey, Black Hand, newsflash: real supervillains don't use Cliff Notes. Real supervillains commit crimes that spell out their names or form some kind of a pattern on a map of the city. Real supervillains have cars with their faces on them and thematic weaponry. Real supervillains rob trains on the fly using nothing but a paper clip, stolen chopsticks, and some Teaberry gum. You're a squinty-eyed, Gil-Kane-uglified accountant with a terrible barber. You're just a supervillain manque, a poseur, and a total tool. 
See? I told you it was a Trapper Keeper.
So, what's with the "penny saved" nonsense? Where did he get that pointless costume?
Why is he going on about his family? And who on Earth-1 is he talking to...?
You'll soon find out, in part 2 of Black Hand Week!
"The usual things. You know. Like villainizing in a business suit, in my personal LEGO shop." 
Mothers of Coast City: heed the warning signs of corruption. If your child hangs its clothes with the hangers facing the wrong way, kill it immediately. Society will thank you.
