The Black Dragon versus Starman

I know I said earlier than Gardner Fox is listed as "writer" for each part of this epic tale, but I contest that.  Perhaps he was responsible for the plotting overall and outline of each segment.  But as you reader each tale the hand of the individual characters' usual writers are evident, despite not being credited.  It's why each of them has their own stamp.

Such as Sandman being a ****.

Nowhere is that more evident than in the Starman tale.  The other heroes need someone else inform where The Bad Guys are and then get there, and that takes several panels.  Starman has no patience for such huevonada; to get the DRAMA going immediately, Starman simply STARTS with encountering the villains thus:

What do you mean, "What's this?" Can't you read the caption?
Aren't these the people you were assigned to find, Ted?

Q.E.D., Ted.

When you are as mega as Starman, Japanese aerial attacks with stolen planes rank only as "mischief".

Just for the fun of the surprise, he decides to PUNCH a pilot in the face.

Anybody else doing this would probably seem like a goober, but when Ted he just seems like a WAG.

But don't worry; Ted hasn't forgotten he wields the awesomely ill-defined power of the cosmic rod.

Or the gravity rod. Or whatever he's calling in this week.
We all know that, like a magic ward, it's merely a conduit for Ted's raw awesomeness.

Well. That's handy.

In case you are wondering about the training field being oddly-named "Ralph", it is almost certainly meant to the DCU's version of famous Randolph Field.

Naturally, these Black Dragon pilots are cowed in the face of the maddening awesomeness of STARMAN.

You can certainly see by the DRAMATIC art typical of Starman stories that each JSAer has their own artistic team.

As odd it may seem for just, you know, a scientist with a stick, Starman really was the "Superman" of the JSA (when he was around).  

Starman doesn't hesitate to chase after a whole Vulture squadron of enemy planes, which strongly hesitate to engage HIM.

But by flying away in panic, the enemy has unwittingly exposed Starman's kryptonite!

THE COLD

I find it ironic that "Starman" can't seem to get anyway near SPACE.

Gee, Ted, you know who figured that his second day on the job?

Your simpleton slacker son.

Anyway, Ted's a SCIENTIST, so he's not going to stoop to some simple expedient like wearing warmer clothing.  But first a spoonful of backstory from Ted's government contact.

Despite their many downside, dirigibles have always been popular in comics. They make quite a visual impression.

Hey, wait a minute.  A dirigible invented by Weldon? A Weldon dirigible? Why does that sound so--

Ah. Right. Now I remember; the one with the Phantom Zone cats.

Anyway, Ted INVENTS himself a costume-warmer on the spot, because that's how awesome he is.

Yeah, I mean; who could see a blimp coming?

Yes! Tungsten powered by ASTRAL EMANATIONS. That should be toasty.

I have a new theory about why Ted's sons turned out the way they did.

The Black Dragoneers confidently assert that they definitely will be able to spot Starman as he approaches the dirigible, but then somehow, just by being Starman, he pops in unexpectedly anyway.

Defying expectations is one of his many powers.

"Your bullets cannot harm me;
my star power is like a shield of steel!"

Heel joke;

Knuckle joke;

NO RIB JOKE.
See? Defying expectations.

Starman is halted only by a threat to innocent life!

Useful, war-weapon-inventing, innocent life.

Then in the same vein as the Black Dragooners who tried to throw Hawkman to his death from a great height when his only power is flying, these guys try to kill Starman by de-blimping a man whom they have already seen flying with a device literally called "a gravity rod."

Again, a fiendish plan, not an intelligent one.

This turns out pretty much just as you would expect.

I guess evaporating bullets only takes perhaps the Jth or Kth degree of power.
Somewhat like the settings on a phaser.

Inventor Weldon is deposited at the airfield, perhaps to refresh himself with a delicious hot dog.

Up, up, and away!

The Black Dragons attempt to take the high ground, which is not easy to do on a dirigible.

Ted Knight knows that the only person worthy of narrating Starman's adventures is Ted Knight.

That, too, works out pretty much as you'd expect.

Starman hurls rats for BREAKFAST!

Then Starman steers the blimp to safety.

They ain't called dirigibles for nothing.

Tomorrow, we climb even higher on the scale of Undefined Nearly-Omnipotent abilities, past the "sonic screwdriver' that is Ted's gravitry rod to the (literally and figuratively) hand-waving magic of Dr. Fate along with his unexpected allies, the Pueblos!

The Black Dragon versus The Atom

"Ripsnorting?"  Spy rings are not "ripsnorting".  Fraternity parties; saloon fights; supercell tornadoes; political harangues; brimstone sermons; these are things that can be "rip snorting".  Spy rings are not rip snorting, not even ones that intend to blow up San Francisco.

Well, this seems like The Atom's speed. Just find a bunch of Black Dragon guys and beat them up one by one, which is exactly the kind of thing he does. This particular Black Dragon cell has stolen a powerful micro-explosive with which they fiendishly intend to blow up San Francisco.

You know: the only major American city that's already proven it can bounce back from having its entire downtown destroyed.

Once again, the Black Dragon's plan is fiendish, but not necessarily well-considered.

Just like the other heroes, the Atom is assisted by someone who simply walks up and tells him where the bad guys are.

The guy in the green suit.  The second guy, I mean.

The Atom, who is not known for his delicacy, handles the situation with his characteristic aplomb.

Didn't even hear him?
HE WAS SHOUTING YOUR NAME, you NIMROD.

Well, I'm sure Al "The Atom" Pratt recovers from this awkward meet-rude gracefully.

"Good boy! Who's a good Jap? You are, yes you are! Have a Jap biscuit!"

I suppose we should at least be grateful for the well-meant attempt to show that "not all of Them are the same!"  I kind of draw the line, however, at "The Good Boy" calling others "Japs", which seems rather unnatural.

You know, I can't tell whether people REALLY talked like the JSAers did in the '40s, or whether it's just an artifice of contemporary pop culture.  Regardless, it seems like Snapper Carr would have fit in much better as a mascot for the hep-talking JSAers rather than the straight-talking JLAers, who never had any idea what he was talking about.

So through this sequence I learned that The Atom will believe absolutely anything you tell him and that leading him into a death trap would therefore be the easiest thing in the world if that Good Boy were, in fact, a member of the Black Dragon.

By the way, ever notice that The Atom looks like he was kit-bashed from three other, unrelated heroes?  Maybe it's just me.

Fortunately for Al Pratt, the Good Boy is in fact on his side.

Four panels of dental jokes, Atom? Look, I can handle some Golden Age pun-ishment during fight scenes, but not when you are obviously just doing it for YOURSELF.

The Atom: when subterfuge and delicacy are not called for.

I think it's the REPEATED "bam" that makes that panel so sickeningly violent.  But Al's gonna Al, after all.  At least he knows himself well enough not to try anything stealthy or tricky.

Oh. My. I... I seem to have spoken too soon.

Um...yeah. 

Al Pratt is, remember, only 5"1", which he (and the writer) thinks makes him a perfect candidate to infiltrate the Black Dragons in "yellow-face".  Yikes.  That's so absurd it almost completely eclipses the insanity of the throwaway line, "Am I glad I learned to talk Japanese".  When'd you learn to do that, Al? On the drive over?  Anyway, if yellow-face worked for Mickey Rooney, I guess it'll work for Al Pratt.

Oh, wait, that's right: it  DIDN'T really work for Mickey Rooney, did it?

I guess the tunnels are pretty dark, because Al pulls it off well enough to confirm the Black Dragon's plan to blow up San Francisco from below.

Land of the Rising Headlight

Where is Aquaman when San Francisco needs him?!

Washing his hair, of course.

Mercifully, after a few panels of gauging the extent of the tunnels, Atom gives up on infiltration and just starts pummeling the tunnelers. But not before we are treated to this gem:

まさにその通りだ！
(masani tonõrida!)
I mean, I just ASSUME Al's talking Japanese here.

Anyway, back to punning and punching.

It's really just wise-cracking.  Al's a physicist and really doesn't even have enough wit to make a pun.

The one (relatively) clever bit is this Horatius-at-the-Bridge scenario: the tunnel's being narrow keeps the Black Dragons from ganging up on the Atom, which allows him to punch them into oblivion one at a time.

The Atom, of course, beats everyone unconscious, so there's no one to give him any further information about the operation, which is really kind of sad, since,  you know, he went to the trouble of learning to talk Japanese and all.

Fortunately, help arrives immediately in the person of

THE GOOD BOY!

Omitting a few more panels of Dragon-pummeling, we catch up with the Atom as he locates the explosive and threatens to blow them all to kingdom come.

The Mikado comment is a joking reference to the legendary bloodthirstiness of the character from the eponymously-titled Gilbert & Sullivan comic operetta, a reference which apparently the writer assumed all 1940s American elementary-schoolers would understand.

The Atom having accomplished his object all sublime, the explosives are returned to Uncle Sam and the WPA sets up to fill all the tunnels with cement.

The Atom's a hero and the Good Boy never even gets a name.  Thank goodness for the Atom's Olympic-level yellow-face skills!

Tomorrow, you may want to hit the ground because Starman is up and this is going to be OOPMHY.

Yeah, the Black Dragon doesn't stand a chance against the DRAMA of Starman.

The Black Dragon versus Sandman

Immortal gods, I ask of you one boon alone: PLEASE don't let there be a "Japanese Sandman" joke in this story.

Fire Island, I assume.

This is the poseur version of Sandman, after he ditched his pulpy get-up for this skin-tight superhero number just because his new gym routine paid off.  It's very try-hard and screams "I'M NOT A GEEK ANYMORE!"

He's been assigned to recover the inventor/invention of modern "Greek Fire" (a famously lost ancient incendiary formula that burned in defiance of water, which was very effective against ships). So... Sandman is being sent to the beach.

The "Sandcar"?  Give me a minute for my eyes to roll back out of my head.

Fortunately, the Feds have done the advance work and pretty much know just where to send him.

As a great man once said,
"SHUT UP, Wesley!"

The writers give Wes the opportunity to use that damnable "wirepoon" of his.

It's much cooler when Batman starts using it as a "grappling gun".
Everything is cooler when Batman does it.

Shut UP, Wesley.

For the most part, all these Golden Age heroes had interchangeable personalities.

"No, you jack-@$$, I'm the goddam DOCTOR LIVINGSTON!"

And Gardner Fox is listed as writing EACH of the sub-stories, so that makes some sense. The heroes were distinguished by their costumes and their gimmicks; differing personalities would have been gilding the lily!

Mad? Just because he was kidnapped by foreign agents who stole his invention and tied him to a bed?  How sensitive!

But I don't think I'm imagining it when I notice that

Gardner Fox wrote Sandman to be PARTICULARLY insufferable.  As if he too thought Wesley Dodds was just a nerd trying to pretend he was one of the Cool Kids now that he got yoked.

Well, at least he didn't do a Japanese Sa--

DAMMIT, Wesley!

As we know, hubris precedes a fall and Wesley's comes hard upon.

Specifically, with a rock bouncing off his skull.
Nighty-night, Sandman.

I'm beginning to think Peter Parker got all his smack-talk skills from being a Sandman fan.

After a desultory demonstration of Modern Greek Fire, the Black Dragoneers get to what we've all be waiting for:

Killing Sandman.
P.S. Shut up, Wesley.

At least being in a death-trap, brings some SMALL sense of seriousness to Sandman.

Just pick one and die, Wes.

Naturally, Sandman uses the flames to burn off his bonds, and then ... ACTUALLY uses his SAND.

I don't think I've ever seen Sandman USE sand to good effect. You win this round, Sandman.

Now freed, Sandman disarms his captor and incidentally sets the whole place on Greek Fire.

"What could possibly go wrong?"

Killing a great many people, I might add.

And so Wesley saves the Inventor, the Invention, and the day.  By burning a lot of people to death.  Yay?

Tomorrow...

Well, it's the Atom. And I guarantee you are NOT ready for it.  

WE guarantee it.