I owe an apology to...

 Chandra Abbott.

You'll be forgiven if you don't remember who Chandra Abbott was; I forgot her, too.

She was the (non-monstrous) police officer who assisted Aquaman during his "Sub Diego" phase.

The monstrous one was Officer Malrey (Alonzo to his friends). I won't get into what his deal was right now because, like most of the Sub Diego storyline, it didn't make much sense.

Chandra Abbot CLEARLY should have been included in my line-up of Mystery Analysts for Aquaman, since that's exactly how she functioned in Sub Diego.

Sigh; Sub Diego. I loved the idea. I actually own original art from the series (including the delightfully memorable Dead Floating Panda), was an early advocate of Loran "Aquagirl" Marquez, and I was happy that Aquaman finally had (again, ahem) what other heroes had: an (American) fictionopolis of which he could be the protector.  Its original issues by Will Pfeifer (Aquaman #15-22, "American Tidal" and the first two of three installments of "With The Fishes") weren't air-tight (as underwater stories should be!), but they were a bold start with interesting mysteries, a unique setting, and intriguing new (or renovated) characters (such as Dr. Geist, Lorena Marquez, Koryak, The Eel).

I was quite saddened as it began to spin off into chaos that had to be retconned away by the next regularly-schedule reboot of the DC.  

Aquaman 15-22    Pfeifer

Aquaman 23-24     Ostrander

Aquaman 25-29    Arcudi

Aquaman 30-31    Guggenheim

Aquaman 32-39    Arcudi

John Ostrander did two issues after Pfeiffer, then John Arcudi became writer and halted all momentum with a three-issue story about Ocean Master magically changing reality to switch roles with Aquaman (the ONLY significant result being Aquagirl's new costume).  Officer Malrey was introduced, and although I kind of liked him, he made zero sense, since no one would happily (and SECRETLY) ask to be turned into a monster just so he could be a better police officer.  Evil corporation "GeneTech" seemed wildly UNDERmotivated as the perpetrators of the sinking of Sub Diego and the only real ongoing effect of which was to make Black Manta capable of breathing underwater.

I don't know, I can't keep track any more; can Black Manta STILL breathe underwater? If so, how is that explained, since that was tied in completely with Sub Diego, which is now retconned away. Just another part of the ongoing editorial chaos in the DCU.

Marc Guggenheim followed with a two-issue Sub Diego serial killer storyline, with ridiculous elements  like scrabble letter clues, Sub Diegans exhaling OXYGEN, and Aquaman hauling his butt to ARKHAM just to consult with Jonathan Crane, of all people.

Then Arcudi came back, with a dying Mera, an angry Tempest, and Atlantean magicopolitical problems in tow, which drew focus off of Sub Diego for the rest of the series. That all tied in with the company-wide crossover storyline of Jean "Eclipso" Loring seducing The Spectre into destroying all free-range magic in the DCU.

You remember: when the Spectre literally STEPPED on Atlantis and gave his silly "Widows of Atlantis, bring out your shrouds!" speech.

And that was the end not only of Atlantis but Sub Diego. Now, once again, after only THREE ISSUES,  Aquaman has wandered off into familiar, chaotic waters of obscure irrelevancy, wherein 

• Atlantis is missing or destroyed;
• Mera is missing or destroyed;
• Everything is all Magicky.

And Aquaman himself has literally wandered off the map.

If only Chandra Abbott were on hand to find Missing Person Arthur Curry.

Mystery Analysts: Central City

Our final hero for whom to develop a set of Mystery Analysts is Flash.  Flash, of course, is, in real life, a POLICE FORENSIC SCIENTIST, so his need for back-up in solving mysteries is non-urgent. But, you'd think, with everyone he knows it would be easy to find some people.

That and the fact that there are 27 billion people in Central City to choose from.

Ralph Dibny

Boy, I really hate to include Ralph Dibny. I hate to even MENTION Ralph Dibny

Gotta admit: THIS version was ...
easy to look at.

But the character was a literal detective, deeply associated with Barry, and is currently not doing anything (except being dead, I believe).

This is how I always like to remember him. When I do remember him. Which I don't like to do, ever.

ONE condition, though: no stretching. I think Ralph Dibny could be an okay character; it's the World Famous Elongated Man who is annoying.

David Singh

Most of the Mystery Analysts franchises have at least once Law Enforcement Authority among them and David Singh is pretty much the only one we know related to the Flash.  I would say something about how dangerous it would be for Barry to have his BOSS among his Mystery Analysts but:

1.  It seems to be a convention of comic books that heroes' coworkers never recognize them in costume (even if those coworkers are Mystery Analysts):

2.  At least on the Flash TV show (where Singh was actually more prominent than in comics), it was revealed that, duh, of course David Singh knew Barry Allen was the Flash.

Darwin Elias

Work with me here. Darwin Elias was a famous applied scientist who helped Flash expand and refine his use of his powers as well as inventing fantastic tech to improve Central City.  Then he turned out to be evil. 

But single, so that's a plus.

He appeared in many issues but you don't remember him because he was completely overwritten in popular consciousness by, of course, Harrison Wells from the Flash TV show, who has the exact same description.

And is MUCH more memorable.

Since no one remembers Darwin Elias, just bring him back and drop the "turns out to be evil" part.  Obviously, he's not a detective in the traditional sense, but as a cutting edge scientist, he's certainly about solving mysteries (which in the Flash's case often have a scientific angle).

Dr. Desmond Powell

If you remember that name or face, I'm impressed. He was a one-shot character on the 1990s Flash show, a retired vigilante codenamed "Nightshade".

Sort of a combination Sandman/Dr. Mid-Nite

As such, he would certainly count as a detective. His background as a Central City masked vigilante who predated the Flash's arrival is interesting, his medical knowledge is a useful angle, and the character is certainly free to be used without stepping on anyone's cherished continuity.

Mason Trollbridge

Mason was (for a while) part of Wally West's supporting cast, a colorful character with an unusual backstory. He'd been the kid sidekick of a vigilante called the Clipper, from whom he picked up a lot of crime-solving and weapon-handling know-how.  He essentially served Wally as a Solo Mystery Analyst, so revitalizing him for the Central City franchise is a natural reach.

He was also JUST SLIGHTLY possibly-crazy, which you'd pretty much have to be to think you can help the Flash.

Detective Jared Morillo

I haven't seen an F.B.I. agent get less deference since Juju Watson.

A hard-edged Central City detective who was a big part of the Central City cast during the "Cicada" era, Jared Morillo could be re-introduced as a CCPD detective or one who shift into private investigator.  In either case, Morillo would be the classic shoe-leather detective, in contrast to more science-y members of the Mystery Analysts of Central City.

Mystery Analysts: Wonder Woman

I say "Wonder Woman" rather than name a city, because who really knows where Wonder Woman lives? It's one of my pet peeves about her.  

Real-world Boston seemed random and inappropriate; who moves to cold cramped Boston from Paradise Island? John Byrne's "Gateway City" was an utter cipher; I'd be shocked if any of you could tell me a single thing about it (without looking it up), especially since virtually no writer has cared to use it again (until Ultimate Wonder Woman).  

Part of Wonder Woman's geographic problem is that she's not FROM any U.S. city (as are Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and many others). She needs a REASON to locate in a particular city of her own and The National Capital of the country she's living in seems like a pretty logical place.  Just put her in Washington, where the character started. Besides, with its low skyline and classical architecture it's probably the city that seem most familiar to a resident of Themyscira. It's weird and artificial enough that it might as well be a fictionopolis, any way.  Or fictionalize Washington as "Federal City", an idea I think is long overdue.

But let's move on to our task of giving her some Mystery Analysts, which she clearly needs as a resource. Zeus knows I love Little Miss Marchy Boots, but a detective she ain't. She couldn't even figure out who killed her OWN PUBLICIST.

The case remains one of DC's best and most famous mysteries, which Wonder Woman totally did not solve.

But who on earth would be among Wonder Woman's Mystery Analysts?  It would be great if they could be, say, all women and one token man, as an inverse of the Mystery Analysts of Gotham. Unfortunately, Wonder Woman's mythos doesn't much support that.  She's got lots of women in her historical cast, but most of her "professional help" is men.

Ed Indelicato

Wonder Woman's partner in trying to solve Mayer's murder was Boston detective Ed Indelicato, a surprisingly memorable character.

It helped that Ed was deeply weird and very human.

Simply put, Indelicato, who later retired and became an author (of crime fiction, I presume) make him a no-brain among WW's Mystery Analysts. He's the "Kaye Daye" (weird memorable crime fiction author).

Those glasses are like Kaye Daye's hats.

Unlike many members of the Mystery Analysts (the original or my own versions), he's a colorful character, quickly conveyed and easily identifiable,  which is useful for characters who have to share their screen time with others.

Chic Novelle

Well, this is a reach!  Chic Novelle is a Golden Age Wonder Woman character, a follower of sexist investigative journalist Selldom Wright (why HE is not my choice should be doubly obvious).  She shifts from being one of his informants to investigating on her own behalf and helps Wonder Woman capture the "Blue Seal Gang" (one of those tawdry pin-striped suit gangs so many Golden Agers wasted their time on).

Chic was handy with guns, too. I'd like to imagine an updated version of her would still accoutre herself in a 1940s manner, just because she's a gal with style.

I Ching

Oh, yes; I went there.

I Ching is, of course, the absurdly stereotypical Wise Old Blind Chinese Sensei who mentored (i.e., mansplained) Diana Prince through her de-powered, karate-chopping, gunning-toting, boutique-owning era in the 1970s. But, as long-time readers of this blog will remember, the BEST thing about Ching is how clearly he and Diana DETEST each other. 

"I cannot WAIT to see what pathetic losers they match you up with, Diana!"
"I'll take some pictures for you, Ching. Oh, wait, that's right..."

Naturally, an updated version would need a more sensibly first name than "I". Or, since Ching is canonically dead (Diana's inability to save him was a perfect capstone to their passive-aggressive relationship), perhaps a DAUGHTER could be substituted.  I always thought it odd that Diana's mentor during this (or any) period would be a man, rather than a woman.

It would avoid... a lot of the unpleasantness inherent in "I Ching" and his relationship with Diana.  An "Isadora Ching" who perhaps knows martial arts like her father (grandfather?) and is a Chinese-American private detective would bring some snap to Diana's Mystery Analysts while being a fine nod to her lore.

Tom (Nemesis) Tresser 

Another one of DC's turtle-necked master of disguise espionage types. He has a history with Wonder Woman as her male sidekick at one point.  

And her side-piece.

They had this annoying and sad situation where they were sleeping together and he thought it was more than that, but it really wasn't.  He was a substitute in more ways than one for Steve Trevor and the story basically admitted that.

I would have probably preferred hard-boiled P.I. Tim Trench for this spot in WW's Mystery Analysts, because his relationship with Diana during her de-powered era actually had some crunch to it. But Trench was murdered pretty famously in a JLA locked room mystery and it's probably best to let (eternally) sleeping dogs lie.

And I DO love Tom's hair.  It's got that Gumby/Capt. Pike thing going on.

Besides, having a former beau among one's Mystery Analysts is an interesting wrinkle and might give Tresser a way to stand out as a character (something he never did on his own).

Etta Candy

Ordinarily, I wouldn't pick someone from a hero's "inner circle" for a Mystery Analyst slot. One of the purposes of Mystery Analysts concept is to help expand a hero's supporting cast, not merely consolidate it.  But DC is often at a loss as to what to DO with Etta Candy in the modern era, where Fat Funny Friends are not the norm.  

And, sadly, there aren't as many Japanese princesses who need spanked in comics as there used to be. Not even in Wonder Woman comics.

Etta's modern incarnation is in Military Intelligence (or some such), so giving her deductive talents would be pretty consistent.  Even without the Mystery Analysts, giving Wonder Woman a sidekick who is actually better at figuring out what's going on would not only be refreshing, but free up Wonder Woman to lasso people and toss things about as she does.

And to march. 
Wonder Woman needs plenty of time to march, march, march.

Trevor Barnes

How Dr. Domino would enjoy yanking that tie!

A currently unused character from Wonder Woman's past supporting casts, he is associated with diplomatic matters, which would make him a good choice as an "international troubleshooter" who relies on his worldliness to solve mysteries that might stump others.

He's was absolutely terrible and being the trusting superhero love interest who gets into scapes/is kidnapped, so an independent Mystery Analyst seems like a better role for him.

Plus, he's not remembered well, so rejiggering who and what he is a tad to fit with the Mystery Analysts probably wouldn't upset many people.

Mystery Analysts: Aquaman

Aquaman may not really have a city per se (I don't count Atlantis and Amnesty Bay seems like a small town that would only have mysteries to solve if Jessica Fletcher lived there), but I'm sure he needs Mystery Analysts as much as anyone.  Great guy, very powerful, awesome hair, but not a detective, so I'm sure he could use some help when confronted with mysteries and clues.

Q.E.D.

Fortunately, in his case there are some obvious candidates (omitting the Sea Devils, who deserve to have their own thing going on).

Sea Sleuth

Phineas Pike, a.k.a., the Sea Sleuth!

Well, it's right there in the name, isn't it? 

He's a detective who is also an expert in all matters maritime.  I even made a custom Heroclix figure of him and an able assistant for Aquaman he is.  

Kind of like original Alfred. Except Alfred was an incompetent, in poor shape, and an expert on absolutely nothing at all.  

Captain Mark Compass

A former Navy frogman, Mark Compass is a "noted nautical investigator". 

Are there any... NON-notable nautical investigators? One has to wonder.

A roving maritime troubleshoot and "ship's detective"? It's almost as if he was created to be one of Aquaman's Mystery Analysts.  

Besides, he's a snazzy dresser.

Esther Maris

I love Esther Maris and I don't care who knows it.  In short, she was Aquaman's "Patty Spivot"; the romantic interest who actually seemed suitable for and chemistry-full with the hero, but whom the hero abandons for his One True Love.

Pictured: chemistry.

But in addition to being a love interest for Aquaman, she was a science reporter, specializing in sea stories.

She's sharp, like a fishing hook.

Clearly, she handily fills the "investigator reporter" role in this group of Mystery Analysts.

Lorena Marquez

Lorena "Aquagirl" Marquez was part of the aborted "Sub Diego" storyline, which was how she got her ability to live underwater.  

How she got her fabulous fashion sense, I do not know.

She was never a detective, but she was Robin-ing for Aquaman during that time, so she definitely did investigating and crimefighting.  Nothing has been done with her since she was retconned away. But she could be brought back as perhaps another offspring of an Atlantean and an air breather, which would allow her access to both of Aquaman's domains.  

Erika Watson

She's the named police officer in Amnesty Bay and she and Arthur were schoolmates.

She's no Kaye Daye, BUT if Aquaman came up against a mystery, there is every likelihood he would consult the one police officer he seems to know.  

Cal Durham

A former Black Manta follower who turned over a new leaf, Cal's motivated to fight against injustice and has the ability to breathe underwater.  

I can easily imagine him doing a lot of "leg-work" for Aquaman both in and out of the sea, making him a reliable (if not stellar) choice for the Mystery Analysts.

And for the bonus round, a surprise pick:

A.J. Curry

A.J. Curry, a.k.a. "the Sword of Atlantis".  

I do not imagine the reworked version looking like this.

Naturally (and fortunately) this character was retconned away once Real Aquaman returned.  But a re-worked version of him might be an ideal aide.  No reason Arthur couldn't have a paternal cousin whom he trusts and who is some kind of littoral investigator.  House detective at a beach resort?  Ecological crimes investigator?  Just someone who solidly represents Aquaman's land-roots.

Mystery Analysts: Metropolis

We're reviewing my candidates for franchises of Gotham City's "Mystery Analysts" and we've just arrived in Metropolis.

Melba Manton

Now, according to the last census, a good 17 percent of Metropolis works as a reporter or in journalism, so the place is lousy with nosy reporters.  But the one the Mystery Analysts deserve is that sassy, snappy  dresser, Melba Manton.

To be clear, I am not talking about the diluted version who mugged for the cameras at WGBS

LIVE from Crime Alley.

No, I'm talking the O.G. crazy-bold Melba Manton, whose escapades made Lois Lane look like Lucy Ricardo and whose wardrobe made Quentin Crisp look like a prison matron.

Really, how could you miss someone wearing THAT outfit?

Inspector Henderson

He's the classic police Authority Figure in Superman history.  He's not flashy, but unlike Metropolis's other well-known cop, Dan Turpin, he's low-key, slow on the trigger, and even-tempered.  He's the Cool Cop the Mystery Analysts of Metropolis deserve.

Shut up, Jimmy. Unlike Superman, Henderson has no time for suck-ups or any of your "Mr. Action" nonsense.

Maggie Sawyer might have been up for this role, but she moves around WAY too much.  Besides, she was always more of an action-cop than a detective.

Franklin Lester

It's not easy to forgive a character for being created by Cary Bates, but in Lester's case I will make an acceptation.  The original version of Franklin Lester was a private investigator trying to root out Metropolis's Masher Mob and resorted to becoming a costumed vigilante named "Tartantula", based on a cancelled TV series his son used to watch.

Not hard to see why the show was cancelled. That costume doesn't really scream "TARANTULA!" In fairness, Spider-Man's costume is astonishingly non-spider-like and I wonder whether this character was a riff on that fact.

Now, we like costumed vigilantes BUT we do NOT like ones who kill people, and he killed a lot of people.  

Special exceptions can be made, of course.

A redux of the character could simply be a private investigator, with some cute nod to the character's history, such as having him be the writer of (or writers' expert consultant) a "The Tarantula" show or comic book.  

Continuing to STRETCH to find usable pre-existing characters....

Chief Smith

No first name needed, with such a unique surname.

He was the pre-Crisis police chief in Metropolis.  He's a blank slate but could fill the "police authority" slot in Mystery Analysts of Metropolis. I mean, it's not like you ever actually saw JIM GORDON solve a crime, is it?

Really desperate at this point. I disqualify the 10,000 named reporters in Metropolis, because they would be redundant with Melba Manton. So...

Jose Delgado

Only in Metropolis do gang members carry rayguns.

Look I know "Gangbuster" isn't really anyone's idea of a DETECTIVE, per se.  But, you know, he must have been able to at least track down gangmembers and leaders so that's something.  No one's done anything with this character for many years, so he could be reintroduced as either a retired vigilante or just a crusader against low-level semi-organized crime.  

See, José has already proven his worth as a detective by finding the next member (and saving him from a runaway piano)!

Slam Bradley

Slam! One of comics' original hard-boiled private investigators.  He was created by Siegel & Shuster (the creators of Superman), so he's a natural for the Metropolis Mystery Analysts franchise.

Well, technically he was conceived by Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson, the mad comic book publishing pioneer:

"We want a detective hero called 'Slam Bradley'. He is to be an amateur, called in by the police to help unravel difficult cases. He should combine both brains and brawn, be able to think quickly and reason cleverly and able as well to slam bang his way out of a bar room brawl or mob attack. Take every opportunity to show him in a torn shirt with swelling biceps and powerful torso[.]"

But Siegel & Shuster actually drew and wrote the character.  He's perfect!

The Mystery Analysts of Metropolis actually seems like an interesting group of people. Certainly more lively than their Gothamite counterparts.