Speed Saunders: Think of the Time I Save!

 

Intro: 

[SAUNDERS]

I'm an Ace Investigator,

And an Ace Investigator can't waste time

For an Ace investigator to waste time

Is a crime!

So I'm ruled by the tick tick tock

And I live my life by the clock

I live my life by the tick tick tock of the clock.

Verse 1:

[SAUNDERS]

When I go to sleep,

I don't undress.

Oh yes, I sleep in all my clothes.

(You must confess!)

I have just one suit that's my fave.

Well, I will admit that the suit looks bad--

double-breasted, puce, Glenurqhart plaid--

But think of the time I save!

[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]
Think of the time he saves!

Verse 2:

[SAUNDERS]

When the Speed-phone rings, 

there's someone dead;

and no one left that I can save.

Because they're dead.

Though there is danger, I am brave.

Well, the victim drips, 

and the dead get wet,

And oh, what a lousy clue I get,

But think of the time I save!

[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]
Think of the time he saves!

Bridge:

[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]
Tick tock, tick tock, just six pages;

Tick tock, tick tock, time goes by!

[SAUNDERS]
How I love to wake the Dean, researching alumni!

Verse 2:

[SAUNDERS]

At traveling time, 

I silhouette

And hide inside a garbage can

Then pump your guts

Or maybe send you to your grave;

then use the Saundersmobile, too,

to run into someone with a clue

But think of the time I save!

[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]
Think of the time he saves!

Bridge:

[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]

Tick tock, tick tock, so few panels

Tick tock, tick tock, time goes by!

[SAUNDERS]

I’ll be sitting counting seconds 'til the end is nigh

Verse 3:

[SAUNDERS]

And when it comes, 

I have a plan

Before it's done, I'll solve the case

That's what I said

Before it's done, I'll solve the case

'Cause when two panels still remain

I don't care if I sound insane,

But think of the time I'll save!

[USEFUL FEMALE INFORMANTS]
Think of the time he'll save!