Because breaking toys, in today's culture of disposability, is pretty much all kids now know how to do (other than walk on my lawn). Now we live in a world where the only thing to do with all heroes is break them, all the time. Just like Daredevil. All of them except, well...Daredevil, who I'm told is having the time of his life lately; but enough about him.
Aquaman, broken. DC had re-established Aquaman in his own time, acknowledged his public reputation as less than impressive and completely turned it on its head; The surest distinction between a real comic book fan and the unknowing public whose comic book info all comes from Seth McFarlane and Seth Greene was knowing how 'bad-ass' Aquaman was. All the principle elements of his traditional myth had been refurbished or the process thereof, he'd been made the center of more than one DCU-wide story (e.g., the Atlantis War) or legend (the history of Gorilla City), with only more to come (the Rise of the Seven Seas). Now Aquaman is broken, cast out of Atlantis, Mera's trying to kill him again, and he's running around expressing all our rage by (apparently) killing people and shouting "your king is pissed!" as if he's an adolescent and not a founding member of the Justice League.
|Don't worry about that reward, Arthur.|
Superman, broken, DC had re-established Superman as a powerful and mildly anti-authoritian champion of the oppressed, who, while a little lonely, accepted his role in things. He finally stopped wearing a 1900s circus-outfit in favor of something a bit more dignified, more of a uniform than a costume. He wasn't mooning over Lois, was dating a nice foreign girl, had a good friend in Jimmy, and was appreciated by his otherwise irascible boss Perry White. He was even acquiring some new villains (always a weak point) and a new power. Why, he got a new movie and was going to start the cinematic Justice League! Now Superman is broken, exposed to the world by Lois, condemned by Perry as a deceiver, losing his powers more with each issue, being attacked by cops, unassisted by the Justice League. Wearing jeans and tee-shirt.
|Well...at least he's not deejaying.|
Green Lantern, broken. Hal Jordan was back in his bomber jacker, flying again, back in the Green Lantern Corps, running it in fact, and earning plaudits for his own brand of out-of-the-box thinking. Finally, the idea that someone might call Hal Jordan (of all people) the greatest Green Lantern of them all was no longer completely ridiculous. Now, Green Lantern is broken, the Corps is in disarray and Hal Jordan's taken it on the lam, running around the universe in a hoodie. Letting his hair grow long and disheveled. I can believe many things of Hal Jordan; that he would sleep with an underage girl; that he would go insane kill all his colleagues and try to destroy the universe; that he'd become a toy salesman. But I cannot believe that he would go around with disheveled hair.
|Hal..in a hoodie? Unthinkable.|
Green Arrow, broken. CW-- C gol'darned W--has managed to turn Green Arrow into a multi-season television hit and the centerpiece of a growing universe of superheroes shows. Meanwhile, Green Arrow, having his umpteenth restart and lost the awesome CW characters he just added, is now a horror (?) title, whose first heavy-handed story is filled with spider-shaped robocops as part of an improbably naive villain plot to, oh, take over the nation or something, rather than just make a fortune in military contracting. Oh, and once again Ollie is a guilty white liberal unaware that he's the 'fat cat' funding all the fascist crap in his own city. Sound pretty horrible to me.
|Of course 'fat' is just a metaphor.|
Batman, broken. Because nowadays modern readers fall for the malarky that the only way to have a functional Batman is to have a broken Bruce Wayne. So the only way to really break Batman is... to 'fix' Bruce Wayne. It's the latest in Scott Snyder's 'no one call top this!' stories, the Joker, who's now some sort of immortal metahuman, accidentally let magic juice seep into Bruce's brain, which made it all shiny all new and all the bad Batman-causing memories are gone. What they are replaced by is entirely unclear but now we have a brain-blank Bruce Wayne with no skills, no training, and no idea how to be Batman.
|In other words, the Bronze Age Batman.|
Stupid Bronze Age Batman.
Wonder Woman--well, who even knows what "broken" would mean for her at this point, since it's been so long since she was anything but. As far as I can tell now, all the world's foremost super heroine does nothing but date a work colleague and fight with her sister. Flash seems not broken per se, but he's in ANOTHER anti-Flash plots his revenge against the Flash 'epic', so he's ... running in place, as usual.
|For such a smart guy, Barry has to repeat lessons a LOT.|
On the brighter side, the Martian Manhunter's got a new series (to add to his collection of other cancelled series).
Oh, I'll be up for playing again. And soon I hope. But it's hard to play right now...
when all my favorite toys are broken.
|"My god--my hand--it was so beautiful...."|