Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Questions

...from my new comics/media.


  • Lex can accidentally develop a virus that gives people temporary random superpowers, but ONLY affects humans?
  • While the Joker can, during his downtime, develop a version of Joker venom that affects Superman and Wonder Woman and Flash, all of whose physiologies regularly reject such things?
  • And makes them -- with bizarre specificity -- feel like attacking Batman?
  • While growing a new face and moonlighting as an orderly without Batman recognizing him?
  • And, meanwhile, Lex can't even cure his sister's paralysis?
  • Am I the only person who thinks that the next time we see the Penguin in comics he just be an older version of the one from Gotham, who's been world's more successful in capturing the public's imagination than any version since Burgess Meredith's?
  • Hey, Wonder Woman; how bad is it when AQUAMAN tells you you're too prone to throwing a punch?
  • Is it really that hard to write Wonder Woman by just asking yourself "Would Lynda Carter do this?" every time you write a scene?
  • Anyone else confused as to why Swamp Thing would be even be a suspect?
  • Or how the League can't tell that WATER wiped out a village, particularly since there's a broken dam nearby?
  • Or why the scene at the dam felt like I was flashbacking on Avatar?
  • Wouldn't YOU have moved the statue-that-used-to-be-your-mother into a safer place? Is there no U-Store-It on Paradise Island?
  • If for no other reason than... aren't there any BIRDS on Paradise Island?
  • Does Harlan Ellison not like Robin, given how incompetent he made him in Batman '66?
  • Is there anything more disturbing than the Penguin taking DEEP whiffs of your underwear?
  • Shouldn't Harvey Dent be handsomer than that?
  • Cisco Ramon, are there no barbers in Central City?!
  • What kind of jerk DOES buy a yellow humvee, anyway?
  • Would Eddie Thawne be that *ahem* 'sexy' if they let him wear clothes that fit?
  • Have you EVER wanted to see anyone successfully hit a little girl in the face more?! I mean, OTHER than "Cat" on Gotham?
  • P.S. Your friends do not call you "Cat"; you call you  "Cat". Do you even have any friends?
  • Why do half the characters in Central City talk with NYC accents?
  • Except for Iris, who's from the Valley?
  • You wanted to see Barry drop Iris off the roof, too, didn't you?
  • And then travel back in time to do the same thing to Barbara Keane in Gotham?
  • So, Det. Eddie Thawne is substantially less bright than a kid wearing earbuds?
  • Why did Barry sit up just to deliver one line, only to lie back down immediately?
  • Since child-Barry says "gawt" and adult-Barry says "gaht'h" are we just not supposed to notice they have completely different accents, or does lightning give you abs AND a NYC accent?
  • Exactly WHY is it so important that no one in Central City know that their town is now crawling with metahuman villains?  
  • And isn't it awfully conveniently that every single one of them waited until Barry came out of his nine-month coma to start using their powers?
  • I wasn't surprised they altered Girder's origin, were you?
  • Were there an awful lot of people doing improbable things are the same moment the particular accelerator blew up?
  • If you were the Flash, entering a dark place, wouldn't you take four seconds to set up about a thousand flash-lights?
  • Was there some reason Flash didn't just hit Girder by THROWING something at him at Mach 1.3? Because you can throw something a LOT faster than you can run, you know.
  • Or just... dropping him in the very nearby river?  Because turning to steel doesn't really help you there.
  • Oh, yeah, dude; revealing your secret identity to a deadly superfoe who you now have to keep in solitary confinement for the rest of his life was... totally worth the incredible risk to you and everyone you know...?!
  • Was anyone else TERRIFIED by the end of The Flash?


22 comments:

John said...

I was going to ask if maybe Harvey should be less of an idiot than that, myself. If you aren't going to reveal information about the witness and are lying about what the witness knows anyway, why woul you wait for an actual witness?

Accent-wise, I firmly believe that every city in the DCU is "New York if Wall Street had been somewhere else." Central is huge because nine million people with a midwestern penchant for open space (in their spare rooms) needs heavy real estate...

(And note that the roof scene only works if Barry stayed in earshot until Iris asked about being left up there instead of running off to the emergency, which I find hilarious.)

Funny thing about the "Cat" scene. Notice that she transparently lies about everything else, so I'd bet that no, nobody does.

Worth mentioning, even if this comment is dragging on: I caught up on Arrow. The first season is a lot of fun and does a great job balancing between the "killer vigilante" schtick and knowing that's the wrong way to handle it. There's a lot of good material in the second season (including appearances by Barry, cameos by Caitlin and Cisco, and several background news items about the particle accelerator!), but got overwhelmed by trying to pretend that Deathstroke's an interesting character. The acting is good enough by (most of) the regulars that the guest stars (and Keith Partridge's daughter) stand out like sore thumbs. Suffer through the pilot. Also: Jean Loring, mediocre-attorney-at-law. Also also: Ray Palmer, who might be the crazy one in this universe.

Constantine...I'm not sure it's actually a show. Does anybody understand what the point is, other than a lazy horror anthology with boring characters?

John said...

I had to come back to make fun of Iris's 1998-style web counter on her blog...

snell said...

I think all of your Joker questions are answered by "This whole thing is transparently just another 'Cassandra scenario' from the Scarecrow gas that was so carefully set up last issue and then echoed again this issue." Or, it's all a dream.

Scipio said...

I had to come back to make fun of Iris's 1998-style web counter on her blog..."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH

Anonymous said...

I too am thinking that the Scarecrow's gas is making Batman hallucinate, but it almost seems too obvious.

About Selina on "Gotham": I do like that she's telling Bruce things he desperately needs to hear, you know, the sorts of things a professional counselor would tell him. If she sticks around long enough, perhaps Bruce will actually get better, and won't dress like a bat so he can kick muggers in the face.

Anonymous said...

I think the message at the end was supposed to be "Stop at the store and pick up more chalk, or else I won't be able to leave you messages. Love, Iris"

But she was low on chalk so had to pare it down and improvise a signature.

SallyP said...

Boy howdy, it sure didn't take long for Lex to do something incredibly stupid did it?

Scipio said...

Sally, What I'd like to know is: what was the JL's big plan to 'catch' Lex and send him to jail if Neutron HADN"T shown up and released to the Amazo Virus?

I guarantee the story won't get back to that.

John said...

Anonymous, that's unless she goes too far, and he becomes a skinny vigilante who flings his continental breakfast at muggers...which I'd actually probably watch, especially if he called himself Bearclaw.

Also, in that final Flash scene...is this the second time we have to ask why there isn't a backup? Or a digital copy at all, in this case?

(And other than casting suspicion on Wells, why annoy the detective's coffee table and not Barry's murder collage?)

Scipio said...

Barry's Murder Collage isn't public knowledge; it's oh so HIDDEN behind a map. In a public building. Where scores of detectives work.

Randy Jackson said...

For what it's worth, many, many comics creators loathe and despise the very idea of teenage superheroes and will do anything in their power to discredit them. Robin's biggest enemy isn't Crazy Quilt--it's a writer that doesn't like him.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, that's unless she goes too far, and he becomes a skinny vigilante who flings his continental breakfast at muggers...which I'd actually probably watch, especially if he called himself Bearclaw.

I like to imagine Selina will be outside Bruce's window that night, just tossing random crap through. "Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot. So my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must be a creature of the night, black, terrible ..." (Selina throws) "... a half-empty milk jug!"

John said...

Scipio, that, I get (and yes, Barry takes "hiding in plain sight" to new levels), but Detective West's coffee table is presumably relatively private, as well. If the inverted-streak is watching West, then he's seen the Murder Collage, too. It's a great scene, mind you, just...oddly motivated.

Anonymous, perfect!

Bryan L said...

I couldn't believe Barry unmasked, either. Because Girder's never going to get free, right? Really, what could go wrong?

And hitting Girder with a steel bar was the first thing I thought of. After that was spinning him around in a tornado and making him pass out. But, no, Barry has to shatter his hand.

Actually, the whole "hiding the metahumans in a broken particle accelerator" isn't working for me, either. Who is feeding them? Do none of them eat or have other bodily functions? They need to bring the metahumans out in the open, stat.

John said...

Bryan, worse, what they're doing is kidnapping. "We have no other choice" isn't going to hold up in court. It actually worries me more if there's some sort of automatic-feeding gadget, since that indicates that they've been planning to break the law.

Actually, I kind of hope there's an episode that gets into that, because there are interesting things to say about heroes taking the law into their own hands on the street versus off in the corner where nobody's looking. By contrast, I don't really hope for another Girder episode, even though the unmasking scene is clearly setting one up.

(Over on Arrow, they have a similar secret prison, despite the lack so far of actual metahumans, but it's essentially a "black site" run with the support of vague-yet-menacing government agency ARGUS. Likewise, there's no indication of how the inmate(s) will be fed, made worse by the fact that it's in the middle of nowhere and looking fairly low-tech.)

American Hawkman said...

There's no way that Wells hasn't been either brainwashing or murdering these guys the minute that the Pipeline closes...

Bryan L said...

Yeah, I agree, John. They can't keep holding metahumans illegally and maintain the moral high ground. I'd actually be happier to see ARGUS step in and take over the incarceration part. At least that kind of makes some sense.

Barry's a COP, for crying out loud. Getting fired is the least that could happen to him for what he's doing.

Redforce said...

Comments:
- The final scene wasn't what got me, it was West's REACTION to what just happened that got me
- I think Barry's judgement was clouded by his past relationship with Girder- he pulled the mask back to get one up on him
- I think they are saving the 'superspeed stunts' for later in the series, which is why Flash isn't tornadoing or tossing stuff at Mach 2 much
- Given the thousands of people that were likely having sex in Central City when the storm hit, I don't WANT to see what a person was struck while doing THAT's metahuman powers are...
- That said, given how the metahumans' personalities and powers are tied together, I sense a 'Wildcards' vibe going on here
- Speaking of vibes, maybe there's a Puerto Rican dance club in Central City...

John said...

New question: What kind of water pressure does Central City have for that to work!?

And now I'm doubly confused about the unmasking, since it apparently has no consequences...

Batman Archives said...

Did you quit on us or something? Where are you A?

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