I know what some of you REALLY need, even if you won't admit it...
He's older!
He's powerful!
He's domineering!
He smokes cigars and appreciates sweet fruits!
He likes to teach young men a lesson!
Even if he has to hurt them to do it!
He wears a tight full-body costume!
And sometimes a lead-lined hood!
He might make you wear a full-body costume and hood, and play with giant vibrators ... if you're lucky!
He is
MASTERMAN!
He's older!
He's powerful!
He's domineering!
He smokes cigars and appreciates sweet fruits!
He likes to teach young men a lesson!
Even if he has to hurt them to do it!
He wears a tight full-body costume!
And sometimes a lead-lined hood!
He might make you wear a full-body costume and hood, and play with giant vibrators ... if you're lucky!
He is
MASTERMAN!
I suppose that you don't have to be a complete jerk to work for the Daily Planet...but it sure helps.
ReplyDeleteConsidering all the manipulation, mind-control, and playing of pranks, when did they ever have time to actually get the news out?
He's not mystified by something as simple as a pear, is he?
ReplyDeleteWell, Bill, Super-Editor Vision is a lot like life: no matter how hard you look, you just might miss one of those crucial little details until it hits you in the face.
ReplyDelete"Lane! Doctor Light is not a 'rappist'!"
Oh my. That's hilarious, but then again, most of what you post is.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the cover of Superman 183 from (I think, August 2002)? That shows a very "masterful" Perry and a quite submissive Clark.
How I love suggestive superheroes!!!
Gerry from Syracuse
"Considering all the manipulation, mind-control, and playing of pranks, when did they ever have time to actually get the news out?"
ReplyDeleteAdd to that list "staging off-off-off-OFF-Broadway productions with titles like The Woo-Woo-ing of Hocapontas."
I miss the days when the supporting cast members would put on costumes and play with the stars of the book. With DC's current efforts to woo back the older audience they lost at Crisis, maybe it'll start happening again.
ReplyDeleteJimmy Olsen had enough identities to fill a trade paperback. Perry White was Masterman, the Black Knight, Mental Man, and Anti-Superman; Commissioner Gordon was Mysteryman and Anti-Batman; Alfred was the Eagle; am I forgetting any?
Was this the period when Perry got the powers by smoking special cigars provided by the Tomorrow People, excuse me, some generic futuristic mutant kids? Or was there another occasion on which he had powers comparable to Kal-El?
ReplyDeleteScott, this one precedes "the Super-Cigars of Perry White" by 10 years or more.
ReplyDeleteIn the Masterman story, that fruit that Perry eats contains sentient plant matter that first gives him superpowers then takes over his mind.
In the Masterman story, that fruit that Perry eats contains sentient plant matter that first gives him superpowers then takes over his mind.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, I remember it now!! Thank goodness there just happened to be a certain color of kryptonite that caused no harm to Kryptonian people or animals but killed all plant life, Kryptonian or not!
I loved the one with the cigars, and they kids were alien kids.
ReplyDeleteHey kids, smoke cigars like Perry and you might get superpowers!!!
And the Kryptonite that harmed plants was white K, if I'm not mistaken.