Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Paula's Patience and Planning

It's time for the return of one of my own favorite features, one that I started this blog with:

Villainous Virtues
.

Why, anyone can take inspiration from the greatness of DC's heroes. But there's an art to allowing DC's villains to inspire you to virtue.

Today let us take an inspiration from that most, um, lovely of Wonder Woman's foes, Paula Von Guenther, who will teach of the Importance of Patience and Planning:


Can you believe Hitler fired this woman? Wonder Woman's not the only fool!


A sure-fire plan for crippling America's fighting forces for the Fuehrer in only 20 years. And it only cost 7 million a year in 1942 dollars. Without Wonder Woman to foil her plot, the U.S. forces in Vietnam would have consisted of rickety bleary-eyed dwarves. Paula might have even survived lung cancer long enough to see the day...!

You inspire me, Paula! Any great enterprise, like the slow hobbling of an entire generation of soldiers, requires Planning and Patience.

Oh, and a willingness to invest.

8 comments:

  1. I had no idea Monsanto was started by a DC villain. The things you learn.

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  2. Hmmm, without milk, we would've lost the war? Holy Wisconsin...Maybe that's why we're doing poorly in warfare -no enough milk. Someone alert the POTUS!

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  3. OKay, add a T to "no enough" in above post...

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  4. I'd often wondered where Thatcher got her wild ideas.

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  5. Isn't this essentially what's happening now in school lunch programs?--an entire generation of fat American kids growing up on soda?

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  6. That's right, grotesquely heavier citizens are the end result of the devious plotting of a DC villian, to be unveiled soon. Call him the OBEAST.

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  7. I take milk out of kids' mouths all the time, and spend my free time taking candy from babies. It doesn't cost $7 million.

    Is that a joint she's holding? Must be one of those "reefers" left over from that Plastic Man story.

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  8. Maybe Paula should've gotten the Clap and spread it around. She could have really ruined the future generations.

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