Turning Over a New Sword

I'm turning over a new leaf here at the Absorbascon as part of my New Year's Resolutions.

Yup, I have a whole new way of looking at things! This coming week or so you'll hear me praise Hal Jordan, criticize Vibe, and try to talk about the Flash and remain awake while doing so.

Let me start by doing a 180 degree turnabout and dramatically (is there any other way?) embracing the "Sword of Atlantis thing". We here at the Absorbascon are going to go with this, nay, RUN with it.

And, so trying to get into the swing of things, we present a one-of-kind art-homage by one of the Absorbascon's favorite people, "Blockade Boy" (a.k.a. the artist formerly known as Jeremy Rizza)...

Scipio: Sword of the Absorbascon

Jeremy (thanks, pal!) actually got it to look like me, eyebags and all. I think my favorite part is the little Vibe outfit on my dog. Gotta get him one of those.

I know what you're asking:
how can I get this miraculous vision
on my own apparel and decor?

Well, we at the Absorbascon have anticipated your desires! Yes, there are now OODLES of "Scipio: Sword of the Absorbascon" merchandise available for you at the Absorbascon Shoppe! Shirts, posters, pillows, lightswitch covers --- do what I'm doing, and make your entire house over in "Sword of the Absorbascon" chic.

Oh, and since it is Haikuesday, feel free to compose a haiku on the horror/wonder that is the "Sword of the Absorbascon" (or, for that matter, the Sword of ... well, anything).