Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Crisis on Infinite Haikuesdays

Despite being hundreds of pages long, there is no heroic haiku in Crisis on Infinite Earths. The stuttering, self-pitying, sob-sisters of the Wolfmanverse do not speak thus.

There is, however, haiku of uselessness, ignorance, and doubt. Marv loves those.



"I do not know what
happened here ... do not know who
any of them were--"

Exactly the kind of pathetic, haltering haiku you'd expect from Pariah, one of the most fittingly named characters in comic book history.

PLEASE tell me you can do better than Pariah or at least make fun of him in haiku, so we can get SOME entertainment out of COIE!
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15 comments:

  1. Ragnell10/18/2005 9:08 PM

    Okay, today's post were three of the funniest I've ever seen. Would it be a breach of etiquette if I put up a permanent link to you from my site?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Scipio10/18/2005 9:22 PM

    Not at all! I'm honored!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10/18/2005 9:41 PM

    Why am I cursed to
    witness this pain, and use this
    silly eye liner?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bully10/18/2005 10:12 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bully10/18/2005 10:13 PM

    Hi! I'm Pariah
    The new character find of
    1985.

    Kahn promised me my
    own miniseries drawn by
    Perez...What happened?

    Me and Lady Quark
    And Harbinger too, 'member?
    Banned from DCU.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jeremy Rizza10/18/2005 10:57 PM

    You think I'm crappy?
    Wait 'til you get a load of
    the New Guardians.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous10/18/2005 11:02 PM

    Don't die Monitor
    who will listen to me whine
    for eight more issues?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous10/18/2005 11:45 PM

    Think I was sad then?
    Wait until you see me in
    Villains United.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Des10/19/2005 3:01 AM

    I am Pariah.
    My shroud is green, my hair is
    purple. Please love me.

    I spent all 12 parts
    of Crisis drawn with my mouth
    agape in horror.

    Why must you all make
    fun of me mercilessly?
    It was the eighties!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jeff R.10/19/2005 10:22 AM

    No heroic Haiku in the Crisis? I have to take that as a challenge. And a mighty one it was, with so few actual instances of heroism and Wolfman's penchant for polysylabic utterances that can't often be cut up into Haikus. But still, allow me to present the main character and hero of the Crisis, not the one and only but the original Superman, Kal-L:

    Ugly, you may be
    Right...but somebody had to
    Clean up the Garbage!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Des10/19/2005 12:26 PM

    rafi-el: awesome...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous10/19/2005 12:49 PM

    There is now a hole
    Where Pariah's stomach was.
    Ouch, that's gotta sting.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous10/19/2005 1:54 PM

    Why don't I have friends?
    I am smart, clever, handsome.
    Name is Pariah.

    Aunty Monitor
    It was terrible! Worlds died!
    Oh! And Toto, too

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous10/19/2005 2:34 PM

    Th- The pain... of being
    written... like a Chris Claremont
    mutant...is... too great!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Scipio10/20/2005 6:44 AM

    "I spent all 12 parts
    of Crisis drawn with my mouth
    agape in horror."

    Me, too...

    ReplyDelete