To help us all struggle through the life-sapping depression of "The Loneliness of Aquaman Week", I've chosen now to debut a new feature at the Absorbascon:The Morrison Challenge.
You have replaced Grant Morrison as the person in charge of revitalized underused characters in the DCU. You need to come up with a pitch for how to
reintroduce "insert character name here" as an interesting and enriching part of the DCU.Today's Morrison Challenge to you is :
The Ani-Men of Repli-Tech.
Well, they could be brought back in this whole Infinite Crisis thing. I haven't read it, but as I understand it, the catalyst that caused all the villains to band together was outrage at the JLA having mind-wiped Doctor Light. Aquaman did just that to the Whale-Man in the Ani-Men storyline.
ReplyDeleteOK, we could definitely make this work as a JLA Classified sort of thing, much like Ellis' current "New Maps of Hell," I'd imagine. Repli-Tech could even be an obscure division of LexCorp. And...let's see. Ditch the concept of creating hybrids that look like Island of Dr. Moreau rejects; instead go with an attempt to create artificial hybrid human-Atlanteans -- in fact, Aquaman or Tempest's DNA could play a critical role here. Oooh, wait, wait... have them setting up shop in Sub Diego in the guise of medical assistance. Basically, something along the lines of those body-modding mutant wannabes that Morrison introduced to the X-Men universe...
ReplyDeleteHow about a nature's revenge type story, with the Animen being avatars for the animal world ala Swamp Thing meets Gorilla Grodd meets Poison Ivy. I love villains, especially one's you kind of sympathize with until they, y'know, gut you and eat your testicles sauteed in butter, olive oil, garlic and Emeril's Essence.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see a bunch of b-list heroes gored, eaten and dismembered by their wacky antics.
Mxyzptlk shows up bugging Superman about the ultimate prank he's going to pull on him in the near future. Mxyz then goes to a Enron-style boardroom full of corrupt businessmen who will do anything for power. He appears to them in the form of the devil and offers them ultimate power in exchange for their souls. They agree and he transforms them into the Ani-Men. Mxyz starts bugging Superman again, telling him that he created the Ani-Men as a distraction until he can execute his ultimate prank. The Ani-Men prove to be a viable threat to Superman because their abilities are powered by magic, which distorts his whatchamacallit field. All through the fight, Mxyz keeps popping up to warn Superman about the upcoming prank. Superman finally defeats them all, but he's left a bloody, broken mess. Just as he's getting up, a pie hits him in the face. He blasts it off with his heat-vision, and finds Mxyz rolling on the ground, laughing at him.
ReplyDeleteSupes: What was that supposed to be?
Mxyz: That was the prank.
Supes: That was it? This is pathetic, even for you.
Mxyz: Don't you get it? The punchline is a letdown, a major anticlimax after all that buildup. That's what makes it funny.
Supes: It's not funny.
Mxyz: Leave it to Clueless-Blue to fail to understand the subtle humour in a good joke.
Supes: This is a real low point for you, you know that?
Mxyz: Philistine! Cretin!
Supes: Look, I'm tired. Please go away.
Mxyz: Look, I'm tired. Please go away.
Supes: You're really starting to annoy me.
Mxyz: You're really starting to annoy me.
Supes: I'm warning you!
Mxyz: I'm warning you!
Supes: Stop it!
Mxyz: Stop it!
Supes: Kltpzyxm!
Mxyz: Kltpzyxm! ...Ah, crud--
When Mxyz disappears, the Ani-Men revert back to their human selves. But they miss their power, so they secretly start an illegal branch of their company, called Repli-Tech, in an effort to recreate their Ani-Men forms. When they succeed, they become corrupt businessmen with their hands in organized crime by day, and marauding supervillains by night.
And that, ladies and germs, is why they don't let punks like me write comic books.
I'm thinking of a way I can use sentient giant sperm, future tech, magic, and political allegory in the origin of the Ani-men, gimme a few days. :)
ReplyDeleteShane, I said REPLACING Morrison, not BECOMING Morrison...!
ReplyDeleteI just done went and wrote a post on my blog taking up "The Morrison Challenge." Follow the link to see my version of the Ani-Men.
ReplyDeleteI live for this kind of thing.
Soy el nerd grande.
Working in the Psions was inspired, Harvey.
ReplyDeleteLunatic, but inspired.