When last we left Darrel ("Doll Man") Dane he was cruising a train to find a man.
 |
| How could he NOT see you, with that idiosyncratic perspective making you seem 8 feet tall? |
This means that Dane anticipates recognizing the thief, and vice vera. Which means that... he and Dr. Rogers SAW the guy steal the formula? How on earth did THAT happen? Did they just... jump in a car and chase him? If so, how did they not reach him before he had time to board a train? Did they not think to call the authorities?
None of this matters. It's a Doll Man story. Things happen as they need to in order to facilitate Dollmanning, end of subject.
 |
| "I think I hear... the characteristic overconfidence of lunatic chemist Darrel Dane! Cheese it!" |
Guiltily, the Joe Spinell of espionage grabs his yellow trilby and briefcase and leaps from the train (which, fortunately for him, Dane has already stopped).
 |
| I really can't blame Dane for hesitating before jumping out into whatever post-apocalyptic irradiated atomic wasteland is being depicted in that third panel. He may be crazy but he's not stupid. |
Joe Spinell unaccountably and improbably simply disappears in the meager scrub brush clinging to the scorched earth, because, well, because the plot requires him to escape. But while Dane doesn't find Spinell, he DOES find Dr. Rogers, his badass senior colleague, who apparently continued to drive a convertible at over 80mph from the passenger side without even losing his hat until he caught up with the stalled locomotive.
 |
| "Too bad. I suppose foreign agents will use my work to kill thousands, then. Ah, well. At least it was a fine day for a bracing drive through the post-apocalyptic hellscape." |
Since they are eminent chemists Dr. Roberts and Darrell Dane need face no reprisal for halting an express passenger train in the middle of a post-apocalyptic wasteland; rather, they pause in Lincolnesque fashion to bid the train a fond and affectionate farewell.
 |
| And to appreciate some PERSPECTIVE PORN. I declare it's a thing. |
But, what's THIS?!
 |
| Joe Spinell escaped WITHOUT his briefcase, which has lodged in the scarred crags carved by atomic explosions into the post-apocalyptic cliff-side. |
What absurd luck! Now all they have to do is retrieve the briefcase, which contains Dr. Roberts' stolen formula!
 |
| Or not. |
 |
| Dang, Dane works that outfit like a go-go boy at a Pride Parade. |
After all, what could possibly go wrong? Other than the briefcase being carried off but a mangy mutated fox or invaded by irradiated fire ants?
 |
| "Phew. Now I don't have to worry about my daughter marrying this lunatic." |
Dr. Roberts leaves Dane to his fate. I like to imagine that Dr. Roberts doesn't even get into the driver's seat of his convertible, but sits back in the passenger seat, puts a rock on the accelerator and motors home at 80mph while steering with his left hand, because that's the kind of badass Dr. Roberts is.
 |
| PERSPECTIVE PORN, I SAY. |
Naturally, Dane hasn't gotten long to wait because this is the Golden Age and the plot can't plod.
 |
| Speaking of badass, this guy doesn't even SLOW DOWN to pick up the briefcase. Golden Agers were made of sterner stuff, I tell you. |
Any ordinary person would be wildly buffeted about and injured by this treatment, but this is DOLL MAN we're talking about here.
 |
| Who ALSO gets wildly buffeted about and injured, which I find hilarious. |
Well, as least the rough part is over. Now that he's been picked up by the espionage courier, Dane can sit back and relax until he's delivered to the spy headquarters.
 |
| Oh. Oh, NO.... |
Or this could happen, instead:
 |
| BWAHAHAHAHA |
I'm sure that Doll Man's okay. I mean, he's a Golden Age hero, after all, and they are made of sterner stuff.
 |
| The little airplanes are a VERY nice touch. |
Hahahahaha, Doll Man is totally going to leave teeny, tiny vomit in that briefcase. Or WORSE.
 |
| "What the @#$& is that SMELL?!" |
The flight deck crew is non-plussed by the briefcase's contents.
 |
| Golly. |
So, Doll Man, being insane, decides that the logical thing to do is
climb out on the wing.
 |
| I'm in aviation. In my professional opinion, there are no "safe places" on the wing of an airplane. Even for people under six inches tall. |
The flight deck crew, meanwhile, inspire one of Williams Shatner's best loved performances.
 |
| "THERE'S A MAN OUT THERE." |
Phew.
Well, now Doll Man is "safe", perched on the landing gear of a WWII-era aircraft, where he just has to endure winds of, oh, 200, 300mph until they land at spy headquarters.
Whatever follows will obviously be a piece of cake by comparison!
I thought at first Darrell realized the sight of him would spook the spy, who would then reveal himself, but blind panic isn't a trait associated with spies, so I give up.
ReplyDeleteAnd what about Doll Man's shirt? Is he pulling it on and off? Why?
I'm also intrigued by Doll Man's ability to somehow travel from the plane's wing to the landing gear without any handholds and while being buffeted by wind. I resorted to Wikipedia to review Doll Man's powers, and super strength isn't one of them. I do however see a reference about psychokinesis? That would explain a lot.
I can only assume that Doll Man (like many shrinking heroes) maintains his full-size strength, despite being 1/1726 his normal size. Meaning that, proportionately, as Doll Man he has, relative to his own weigh, the strength of 1726 men, which would make it easy for him to keep a hold in nearly any circumstance.
ReplyDeleteBut it's Doll Man, so whatever.
So, when Doll Man returns to normal size, does the tiny drop of vomit in the bag also return to normal size? Where's Ray Palmer to answer the real questions?
ReplyDelete- HJF1
As much grief as Doll Man deserves, it is still appropriate to remember: he is the FIRST shrinking hero. The many difficult questions involved in shrinking (and unshrinking) were simply not on the table yet. It was convenient for the plot that his clothes came and went as needed, and therefore that's how it was.
ReplyDelete