Thursday, July 18, 2024

Absolute Nonsense

It's the heroes you know and love... but now we've made things DIFFICULT for them! It's grim! It's gritty! They are underdogs! Things are serious!

Oh, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard that, why, I could buy an issue or two of the new "Absolute" line of comics from DC.

Not that I would, mind you.  

From (where else?) "Bleeding Cool":

This is Batman as underdog. Batman as warrior. That's Absolute Batman, the new ongoing series by Scott Snyder and Nick Dragotta. But it's also a reflection of the Absolute Universe continuity as a whole. Where Superman, Wonder Woman and the rest are underdogs, fighting for their survival as well as everything else, because the world they live in is a different one. And far closer to now.

<eyeroll>

How people can take such things seriously I cannot fathom.


I was going to ignore it when I thought it was just a line of comics where some creators could wear dark eye make-up and write the comics they didn't get to in the '90s because they were too young at the time.  You know; a Goth kids club for writers who want to consider themselves "edgy" even though they write comic books.  But today I learned it's an actual "universe" that comes about as a result of ...

wait for it

"Darkseid energy"

Pictured: Darkseid energy.


I could not stop myself from publicly deriding it.  

I feel slightly bad for putting out curmudgeonly posts two days in a row, but, hey, don't blame the weatherman for bad weather, folks.  

Is there really an audience for this sort of stuff? Some, I'm sure; there is an audience for almost everything, no matter how stupid.

Almost.

But I can't help getting the sense that this sort of project is more of a sop to certain CREATORS than to readers.  "Here; here's a sandbox you can play in.  Your fans will buy your stuff there and you can keep your mitts off the real versions of our characters and everyone will be happy."  You know; what we use to call "Elseworlds" before that became a pejorative term designating "imaginary stories" (as opposed to, um, 'non-imaginary stories', I suppose).  

Anyway, (yet another) grim and gritty Batman? Shrug. But .. Absolute Superman? Wonder Woman? Flash? Martin *snort* Manhunter?

I mean, does it get more "underdog" than THAT?!

Gosh, these poor underdogs! I hope they get some help!

This seems like a likely source.

What's your take on this latest "dark, realistic reimagining" of people with bright costumes, capes, and superpowers...?

12 comments:

  1. If I wanted to read a poorly constructed, overly emo, unnecessarily gritty version of my favorite heroes, I'd read Marvel.

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  2. I don't mind the idea of an ongoing Elseworlds by any other name. I think I'm mostly offended at the 90s-ness of it. Like, I grew up with an Earth-One and an Earth-Two; to me it is fine that there are different worlds where things play out differently. Just don't be so damn gimmicky about it.

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  3. The solicits came out and the unifying theme for Absolute Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman is that all of them seem to be alone. Batman doesn't have money, Superman doesn't have ma and pa, and Wonder Woman doesn't have the Amazons.
    I can only hope that this is meant to be some kind of twist "you keeps saying you want grim and serious but we will show you why that sucks" and not actually all that grim.
    And Batman straight out of Warhammer 40K looks ridiculous.

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  4. It's dark! The heroes lose a lot! Everyone is cranky!
    Again.

    At least there's the Mark Waid Batman and Robin year one.
    I'm a much bigger fan of having my Iconic heroes be inspirational and...
    I don't know...
    Iconic.

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  5. "I can only hope that this is meant to be some kind of twist "you keeps saying you want grim and serious but we will show you why that sucks" and not actually all that grim"

    That was clever... WHEN THEY DID THAT 30 YEARS AGO.

    Remember when Batman was replaced by Azrael, Superman was replaced by four edgier Superman, and Wonder Woman was replaced by Artemis? All of whose edgier approaches failed? That was all around 1993-1994. But that was 30 years ago, when Scott Snyder was only 18, and now he wants HIS chance to write it. And I'm sure "the edgy approach is actually stupid" will not wind up being the message.

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  6. Much like Anonymous, I don't really care if they set up another multiversal Earth. I guess it shows some editorial growth that they're just going ahead and partitioning it off up front as another timeline, instead of doing another reboot. Remember when alternate timelines were bad and there was a big crisis to fix it?

    I just don't see why they expect it to work from a business standpoint. Obviously they want to appeal to new and existing readers but when was the last alternate timeline DC title that actually got and retained readers? All-Star Squadron?

    And if we expand our sample pool to include Marvel, well, where's the Onslaught universe now? How about the Ultimate universe? That one did last a while, to be completely fair. But it's gone now.

    My theory is that alternate timeline titles are by definition disposable. You might get some initial sales from people trying it out but eventually they default to the main group of titles, either through lack of quality or personal economics. They're not invested, so it's easy to drop the new line.

    The reason Elseworlds worked is because the stories were self-contained and didn't require an ongoing commitment. Some were actually good, some weren't, but it's pretty easy to read the good ones and think, huh, that's an interesting take and hey, I don't have to buy any follow-up issues.

    I've gone on too long on this topic. People may check it out initially but I really doubt there's going to be any long-term readership.

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  7. Steve Mitchell7/18/2024 4:16 PM

    Ah, the Ultimate Universe--or a new version of same--is back, and has been for nearly a year. The four titles in this setting are some of the best things appearing from Marvel right now (although I know that's falling on deaf ears here).

    Absolute Universe looks, well, dreary, and worse, they are planning to have it cross over with regular DC.

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  8. One will never lose money by betting on DC to do the stupidest possible things time after time after time after time.

    This is an incredibly bad idea (with even worse art -- I mean, look at Batman: his biceps are bigger than his thighs and both are bigger than his head), but who cares? It'll be dead in 18 months and as forgotten as Aztek or Anthro in 24.

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  9. Heh.
    Anthro has a new Heroclix figure just released. His special power? "I'm Used To Dealing With Things Bigger Than Me". Really.

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  10. But , yes, Dave, this Shtetl of Grunginess verges on self-parody and is designed to implode.

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  11. First DC tried to copy Ultimate Marvel with the Earth One Books.
    And now... I can only assume Jim Lee wants to retroactively fool people into believing the Image-approach had some kind of artistic merit.
    Well, there will always be dorky wannabe-edgelord thirteen year olds...
    Congrats for choosing the secret of the three captain atoms instead of 3 jokers for stupidness. I wouldn't have had that restraint ;)

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