Tuesday, July 18, 2023

DEATH IS THE PRIZE: Our Unlucky Day

 Meanwhile, in 1943, we find Green Arrow and his sidekick, the one with the dumb hat, located on a rooftop where Death Hovers Nearby.  Keep your fingers crossed.


Um.. it's St. Louis Louie, Oliver. Why don't you just MEET HIM AT THE FAIR, like the song says? You are SO stupid sometimes.

Of course, I've BEEN to St. Louis, so I can't say I blame you for not going.


Rooftops are a REALLY bad place to try to run from vigilantes, because you're kind of stuck. I mean, it's not like you can just jump the whole way across even an alley to the next building.

Except in Star City, where alleys are either REALLY narrow or all the crooks are trained by Leapo The Clown.


Ollie, who only has to hold on to his bow and arrows in order to do his job, manages to lose his arrows. 

What are the odds? Well, on the bright side, the next shot will finish him, so he won't have to manage long without his arrows.


I think Roy will make a good Green Arrow. I mean, he's smarter, he's a better archer, and he's already used to wearing the stupid outfit.  

Ollie, whose plan was obviously to simply get shot, can't even do that right.  Fittingly, he's up against a crook who only had to hold on to his bullets and gun in order to do his job and couldn't manage that.
You get the foes you deserve, I guess.

Ollie, being a fit Golden Age hero, naturally trounces this pork-pied loser straightaway, recovers his arrows, and returns home to recategorize his Amerindian artifact collection.  Or not:

What's the sound of a gun bouncing off Ollie's head?
Tink? Blonk? Thr-Bung?  
Where's Onomatopoeia when you really need him?

Add "empty guns" to the list of 1001 Way To Defeat Green Arrow. And "gravity" I suppose.  The final ones, it seems, since Ollie is going to be a big green splotch in a very narrow alley in about 5...4...3...


Ugh. Roy saved him. AGAIN. Death may hover nearby for a chuckle but clearly finds it more amusing to keep Ollie alive.

I choose to interpret the art in that panel as depicting that Green Arrow was prescient enough to have built-in, reinforced Rescue Epaulets into his tunic that Roy can aim for every time Ollie falls off a roof.  Ollie has lots of flaws but a lack of self-awareness is not one of them.  

Of course you lost your bow, too.  Kept the stupid hat on, though.

So, Ollie, who without his bow and arrow is just a dilettante anthropologist in a man-size Peter Pan costume, continues to run across the easily-forded alleys and rooftops in pursuit a group of armed gunman.

Your unlucky day was the day your parents died, Roy.
Or any of the days you saved Ollie, who, you'll recall, currently has no heirs but...you.


Well, at least now they can go down in the tiny narrow alley and just pick up Ollie's bow and arrows from where they fell, rather than have to go back to the toy store and pick up some more.  

You gotta be kidding me.

LMAO, Ollie dropped all his weapons and they got STOLEN. Like, IMMEDIATELY.  

Can't believe that was never in "There Oughta Be A Law".
Thanks to ROY HARPER, 1941 Papp Place, Star City, WA. 

Ah well, Ollie's a zillionaire, so no big deal.  He's surely got a million more sets of weaponry and can buy more (and nicer ones) any time he needs, rather than go on some wild goose card for "his favorite bow".

But three guesses what happens.  

3 comments:

  1. Star City has very narrow streets. It is the opposite of Central City.

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  2. I am impressed. This is the first depiction of the "throwing the empty gun" gambit that I've ever seen work. Even Hal, who has been hit in the head by almost everything, has not been beaned by an empty gun (to the best of my knowledge).

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  3. It helps when the hero rushes forward confidently at top speed without any idea that someone holding a metal paperweight might throw it at his big stupid hea.

    ReplyDelete