Surely, you don't think Geoff Johns (brilliant though he is) was the first to imagine Sinestro creating a corps of anti-Lanterns, do you?John Broome did it in the 1967 cringe-worthy classic, "My Mastermind, The Car!", in which the spirit of Sinestro possesses "Goitrude", the former cab of the former Green Lantern's former sidekick, Doiby Dickles. Yes, really; could I make that up?
"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no justice shall escape my sight!
Let those who worship justice's might
beware my power,
Evil Green Lantern's light!"
Evil people have no regard for scansion and meter, folks (for example, have you ever read Maya Angelou?). Either that, or Sinestro hired William S. Gilbert to pen the oath.
Nah; that would have come out more like this:
"In brightest day, I dare surmise,
or blackest night, to all surprise,
all justice seen before my eyes
shall surely quake and quiver.
Then justice-lovers, softly simpering,
bow their heads in shameful whimpering.
Evil Green Lantern light come shimmer, bring
death, and doom deliver!"
Anyway, the reason you never heard of the Evil Green Lanter Corps (a.k.a. Sinestro Corps 1.0), is that it failed in the beta test... in one panel.
"Coming up on DC-ESPN: Sinestro Bowling!" Yeah, back in the day, all it took was Alan Scott and Hal Jordan to defeat the entire Sinestro Corps, and they did it in one panel, rather than 12 issues plus special one-shots.
The title of the story is bad enough, but it comes from a crappy TV show called MY MOTHER, THE CAR about some guy's mother who is reincarnated as his car's insides, or something. Might have been Jerry Van Dyke in the lead, but I can't look it up, because then all the voices would return.
ReplyDeleteSomedays, it feels like the current crop of writers spends their time finding single panels like these and plotting how to turn them into drawn out trade paperback stories to sell us.
ReplyDeleteShe was reincarnated as the car, and spoke to him through the radio. Mostly to nag him about this, that, or the other thing. (The inspiration, loosely, for the "Love-Tester Grandpa" sketch on The Simpsons.
ReplyDeleteDid Alan Scott's thought "They just can't get the force into their beams that Hal and I get into ours" strike anyone in a bi-entendric fashion? Or have I just been reading the Absorbascon too long?
"Did Alan Scott's thought "They just can't get the force into their beams that Hal and I get into ours" strike anyone in a bi-entendric fashion? "
ReplyDeleteYes.
"Or have I just been reading the Absorbascon too long?"
No.
One thing I never understood about My Mother The Car (okay, two things, counting why anyone would put it on the air in the first place): the car was a 1928 Porter (and constantly sought after by avaricious car collector Avery Schreiber). How could someone be reincarnated as a machine built before their death?
ReplyDelete"Did Alan Scott's thought "They just can't get the force into their beams that Hal and I get into ours" strike anyone in a bi-entendric fashion? "
ReplyDeleteYes.
"Or have I just been reading the Absorbascon too long?"
Not possible.
Not only is Sinestro a Master of Malevolence, he's an AROUSED Master of Malevolence! Not to mention Hal and Alan as simpering Justice Lovers!
ReplyDeleteModern writers just don't seem to come up with scintillating dialogue like that any more. But the bowling for Sinestro's does look like fun.
I liked the Gilbert Sinistro Oath.
ReplyDelete"How could someone be reincarnated as a machine built before their death?"
ReplyDeleteHa! Long-time M.M.T.C. scholars saw through THAT little motherly deception in a 1964 heartbeat! Even as munchkins we knew, WE KNEW, that there was no such thing as a dashboard radio in a 1928 any car, so obviously it was an aftermarket add-on, manufactured AFTER mommy's demise!
Thanks, Ray; it's not easy to rhyme "simpering"...
ReplyDeleteMr Gloatypants wins this year's coveted Roy Thomas Explanation Award.
ReplyDeleteNo, he has to write a four-issue miniseries on the topic first.
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO!! You're so right; if someone's glove were miscolored in one panel in a story published in 1946, Roy Thomas would do at least a 68-page story in an Annual explaining why.
ReplyDeleteExcellent find, sir! And the oaths haven't gotten any better: http://dangermart.blogspot.com/2008/10/final-crisis-rage-of-red-lanterns.html
ReplyDeleteFunny; I'd have thought the oath of the Red Lanterns would be "RAAARGH!!!" Or words to that effect.
ReplyDeleteWow, life (and defeating renegade Lanterns) was so much simpler back then! And your evil oath is so much better!
ReplyDeleteAnd, of course, we all know the oath of the Violet Lanterns, aka the Star Sapphires.
ReplyDeleteLove, exciting and new
Come aboard, we're expecting you
Love, life's sweetest reward
Let it flow, it floats back to you
Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore
Nice one - those Star Sapphire birds were quoting songs, weren't they? Love is all around, Love is a battlefield . . . they're full of it.
ReplyDeleteMost of those songs don't hold up to a dramatic reading, do they? I can just see one of the Sapphires removing an enemy's protective field in deep space, while declaring: "Love is like oxygen. If you get too much, you get too high. Not enough...and you're going to die."
ReplyDeleteHa, now there's a Seventies flashback (which is OK, so long as it doesn't make me think of Evil Kari Limbo).
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your article, very effective piece of writing.
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