well, most of them, anyway--
it probably leaves them with lots of time on their hands, just sitting around the Secret Sanctuary, waiting for the Trouble Alert or Wonder Woman's next scheduled lesson on Parliamentary procedure.
What do you think they do to pass the time away? Answer:
Watch Hal Jordan get his ass kicked.
- "Why doesn't Green Lantern use his emergency signal? Then we'd all go to help him."
- "Because he's a man, Kal!"
- "Because he's an idiot."
- "Because he's vain."
- "That's what I said..."
- "Don't start, princess."
- "Oh, I think there's nothing wrong with him that wouldn't be cured by a bit of sweet, sweet octopus love."
- "I concur wholeheartedly, Arthur."
- "What in Rao's name are you two freaks jabbering about? Shut up and let me what he..."
- "Yikes. Perhaps you two have a point. It's really not decent of me to watch Hal's sordid tete a tete this way. But I'd better continue. In case... in case he needs help."
- "That the excuse you use for spying on Lois, too, isn't it?"
- "Don't start, human."
- "What's happening?"
- "I ... I think he's getting his ass kicked by a wall-walker and a mood ring."
- "I told you we shouldn't have let him become a toy salesman!"
- "I think anything that keeps him conscious benefits us all."
- "That's funny, I was about to say the opposite..."
- "Oh, c'mon, guys; it's not that bad. I think he's just fooling around. It's not like he's really into the bondage thing."
- "Was that a crack?"
- "You would know."
- "I'll deal with you later, human."
- "Be fair, guys. It's not like it's really getting him all hot and bothered..."
Well, we all know how the real Leaguers think. But what do you think Snapper Carr's take on all this is?
"Like, freaksville, Super-Daddio! GL's getting his ever-lovin' butt kicked, and you're just glommin' the scene with your super-peepers because he hasn't hit the panic button?? Quit yakkin' about it and GO HELP HIS SORRY GREEN BUTT, man!"
ReplyDeletesound of heat vision searing through flesh and Miller's Outpost clothing
"Did you have to do that, Kal? Now who's going to dust the trophies?"
"Hmm...do we still have B'Wana Beast's application?"
"Now, *that's* hentai-tainment!"
ReplyDeleteOh GOD, I've missed these! I'm sure that is exactly what the rest of the League does when Hal starts making an ass of himself.
ReplyDeleteAlthough Snapper does seem awfully cheerful. I thought he had a terrible crush on Hal.
"I told you we shouldn't have let him become a toy salesman!"
ReplyDeleteI can't remember. Who has brown lettering.
"Maybe it's because we're only twenty feet away from him, Super-Daddy-O, and those creepy beasties look like they're about to queer Green Lantern's but good! (SNAP! SNAP!)"
ReplyDeleteFarsider- I believe the maroon lettering is supposed to represent the Flash.
Great post, Scipio. I enjoyed several lol moments.
-Citizen Scribbler
Whoops! I made an embarassing typo on Snapper's quote. He SHOULD have said: "Maybe it's because we're only twenty feet away from him, Super-Daddy-O, and those creepy beasties look like they're about to queer Green Lantern's GAME but good! (SNAP! SNAP!)"
ReplyDeleteReading it without the word GAME inserted makes the remark appear horrendously crass, and I apologize.
-Citizen Scribbler
Yes, that's the Flash's color.
ReplyDelete"I saw a boob today!"
ReplyDeleteAw, being eaten by a tentacled monster never hurt anyone...
ReplyDelete...oh wait, I'm being told that's not true.