If This Week Had Been a Comic Book

Here's what would have happened.

• Aquaman saved a manatee but using his aquatic telepathy to guide it to safety in a few opening panels, but afterward was immediately called away to deal with a shadowy undersea conspiracy, the introduction of a new magical threat to Atlantis, and rumblings of a political uprising against his throne, none of which were resolved before the end of the issue, which Dan Didio then announced was the last one in the series.
• When his spaceship was struck by a ring from outer space, Richard Garriott was transformed into a Red Lantern all of whose constructs are first-person shooters designed by a large anonymous on-line gaming community.
• A set of live-action films about the candidates in DCU Decisions was released, which, although thoroughly ignored by actual movie-goers, received lots of attention from great metropolitan newspapers.
• ViewTube started showing full episodes of the '60s cult classic, Space Cabbie.
• While the Justice Society stormed Vandal Savage's stronghold to halt his plot to crash the American economy as part of a scheme of world domination, Bruce Wayne had Alfred activate the "Save the World Economy" contingency plan, which involved Lucius Fox writing a check to stabilize the stock market, shore up the world banking system, and continue R&D on Spawndex, the material from which Batman's cape is made.
• Green Lantern's attempt to halt forest fires result in the destruction of seveal small towns, but do expose a hidden facility by an alien race never before mentioned in any issue, while Flash puts out the fires in one or two panels.
• Kate Spencer would -- somehow -- be involved in the defense -- or prosecution -- of a prominent Senator, which would bring here into contact with the Freedom Fighters, first in conflict then in cooperation, and would be saved by a giant-sized Uncle Sam from an attacking mecha sent by the Senator's secret backers, Intergang. No trial memos would be involved.
• Media watchers would reassert to no one in particular that television series are still alive and kicking, despite the growing trend of more and more people to wait the DVD Collection.