Monday, November 12, 2007

The Ballad of Dazzler's Butt

(sung to the tune of "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees")

Say, this is cute.
So, what's new with you?

How're the voice lessons going?
Think I should take some, too?
Hey, Van, are you okay?
Because I have enough grief for two
My Dad told me about my Mom;
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Hey, hey, I'm the Dazzler,
And people say I sing off-key.
I don't really care if I bore you;
I bet you really wish you were me.
at

13 comments:

  1. SallyP11/12/2007 9:44 AM

    Oh Van, darling, I know just how you feel. It is a little hard to take Allison seriously about her mother issues, while she twirls and smirks at herself in a mirror.

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  2. Anonymous11/12/2007 9:47 AM

    That's some great comic book action right there. That's the kind of "realism" that I expect from my gritty Marvel Universe.

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  3. Anonymous11/12/2007 10:57 AM

    The fates are conspiring to ruin my appreciation of the fun, innocent TV show that was "The Monkees".

    First I find out that Micky Dolenz was Tim Burton's second choice to play the Riddler in "Batman Forever", and now this.

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  4. Devon Sanders11/12/2007 11:11 AM

    I can get behind this.

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  5. Wayne Allen Sallee11/12/2007 11:28 AM

    your brilliance continues to amaze me.

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  6. Jeremy Rizza11/12/2007 12:32 PM

    So, is that Dazzler's ass talking about being "more confused than ever," or did Dazzler shrink Lancelot Steele down to Smurf-size and tuck him away in her hip pocket?

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  7. Anonymous11/12/2007 2:49 PM

    At the risk of terrible pedantry, I wonder if this work should be more accurately entitled "The Theme of Dazzler's Butt", considering that it lacks the narrative qualities inherent in a ballad and its tune is itself derived from a declarative theme song.

    That said, Dazzler sure can work that booty, can't she?

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  8. Scipio11/12/2007 6:11 PM

    I dunno, Allan; if you ask me, it tells a sad story, indeed.

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  9. Anonymous11/12/2007 7:15 PM

    John Romita's "22 Panels That Always Work A Butt Into The Frame"?

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  10. T Mafia11/13/2007 8:48 AM

    Okay, if this isn't the perfect time and place to promote my own musical tribute (that's right, audio and everything) to Dazzler's butt, then what is?

    http://www.archive.org/download/PCXPODCASTX50/PODCAST_X_Episode_50.mp3

    For mature...no, wait, that's a total lie. For adult listeners only.

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  11. Anonymous11/13/2007 1:42 PM

    John Romita's "22 Panels That Always Work A Butt Into The Frame"?

    Just say "no" to crack.

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  12. Anonymous11/14/2007 1:03 AM

    How about those pants at the end panel? Now, I'm no celebrity or has-been pop/disco/mutant person but why is she wearing Grandpa pants?

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  13. Scipio8/20/2023 8:32 AM

    In the immortal words of Mackelmore: "I wear your grand-dad's clothes; I look incredible."

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