Wednesday, February 07, 2007

"Tracy!"

Okay, I don't mean to obsess on the Wonder Woman movie, but when a man of my stripe lies in bed at night thinking about what he'd do with Wonder Woman, I think it's culturally significant.

Regardless of what one does with her character, there is one sure way to ensure the success of the film: the right villain. Thus, let us a look for a moment at Wonder Woman foes like Dr. Psycho, the Cheetah, Ares, the Silver Swan, the Yellow Peri, Paula Van Gunther, and Giganta.

And then tell them to sit this one out.

It's obvious who needs to be the villain in this film. Wonder Woman's most fabulous foe, the reason god put Bob Kanigher on earth, DC's answer to Dr. Doom:



I mean, really; must I spell things like this out for Hollywood, or what?


There are three steps to box-office boffo for WW The Movie:
  1. Use Dr. Domino as the villain.
  2. Have him, at some point, launch a missile at Manhattan (that'll get Marvel fans to the theaters).
  3. Cast the right voice as Dr. Domino.

Uh-oh. I need help on this one. Not just anyone can be the voice of Dr. Domino. I know this first-hand, because this very panel was in last year's "Dramatic Reading Contest" at Big Monkey. And when they cast that Person From TV With the Whiny-Snarky Voice as Dr. Doom, it didn't help the FF movie (which was still fabulous, because Marvel knows better than to take its film project pretentiously seriously; that's for their comics).

So help Hollywood get this film off the ground and keep it flying;

WHO SHOULD BE THE VOICE OF DR. DOMINO
in The Wonder Woman Movie?

49 comments:

  1. Well, first off, I must disagree with your assessment of the FF movie which was pure drivel. I certainly didn't think it was true to the comic. The story was dumb and often gratuitous. And the product placement was distracting in the extreme.

    Now Elektra, THERE's an unjustly maligned movie.

    But the voice of Dr. Domino? May I suggest Eddie Murphy? That way he can play everyone else in the movie too (solves all your casting problems).

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  2. David Warner, better known to most DC fans as the voice of Ra's Al Ghul from Batman:TAS. His resume of bad guys in television and film makes him one of the best candidates as the voice of Dr. Domino.

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  3. Jeffrey Combs, without a doubt. His voice is so creepy, it'll make people wonder what's under Domino's mask. If there's anything at all, that is.

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  4. "May I suggest Eddie Murphy? That way he can play everyone else in the movie too"

    Ouch! It does raise any interesting question: should the voice actor be black, since Dr. Domino is?

    "David Warner"

    It's hard to go wrong with David Warner as the Voice of Evil. But I think his voice at this stage is a bit thin, a bit reedy for Dr. D, who I imagine as more stentorian.

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  5. Ooh. I like both Jeffrey Combs and David Warner a lot.

    Moving outside the realm of DCAU voices, I think Jeremy Irons would be pretty terrific. The Lion King type of Jeremy Irons, not the Dungeons & Dragons type.

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  6. Hmm. Coombs is certainly very high on the List of Evil Voices. Still, like Warner's, his is a kind of dry voice. I'm imagining less of a 'voice that makes you want a drink' and more 'voice that makes you want to cover your ears'.

    Lamar? Heh. Nice idea. He does like comics and can certainly be booming when he wants to be.

    Remember, this is someone who will throw his arms up in the air and shout "You've just doomed the Amazon and New York!", as if he were a gameshow host.

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  7. Brian Blessed or John Rhys-Davies.

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  8. For some reason, I hear Rick Moranis, using his "Dark Helmet" voice whenever I read Dr. Domino dialogue.

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  9. Heh heh. I do like Wallace Shawn, but wouldn't Gilbert Gottfried be even more annoying?

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  10. Rhys-Davies; good. I can certainly imagine him shouting a full-bodied "TRACY!" while the body actor yanks some schmuck's tie.

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  11. Ohhh, I like the Rick Moranis sentiment...but sadly he has retired.

    Dr. Domino, hmmmm...this truely is an interesting ponder...Ah yes, the perfect actor.

    Inconceivable!

    Wallace Shawn

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  12. I think they should go totally left-field and hire Brian Atene of Kubrick audition tape infamy (and subsequent YouTube redemption) for his motion-picture debut.

    Failing that, I vote Maurice LaMarche, working somewhere between his Brain voice and his actual full-on Orson Welles impression (as heard on The Critic and dubbing Vincent D'Onofrio in ED WOOD).

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  13. as if he were a gameshow host

    How about Bob Barker?

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  14. Man, it's sad that someone already beat me to "Gilbert Gottfried".

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  15. If you're looking for a deep voiced actor how about Clancy Brown, Tony Todd, or Keith David? All great actors with deep voices and experience playing scary SOBs. And while I'm not sure about the first two, I know David has a fantastic maniacal laugh.

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  16. Todd Oldham.

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  17. Michael Richards!

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  18. Jeremy Irons would work well -- especially if you did let him go Dungeons & Dragons in a few places.

    Tony Todd would work better. He's got the eeriness of a Jeffrey Coombs and the stentorian resonance of a James Earl Jones, all at the same time.

    And the notion of the domino head not being a mask -- or, Johnny Sorrow-style, there being nothing under the mask -- is delightfully Grant Morrison-Lovecraftian.

    In fact, forget Wonder WOman. She'd just be a distraction in the Doctor Domino movie.

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  19. I dunno, I think you need a real voice of authority for this one. I nominate Chuck D.

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  20. It has to be Eddie Izzard.

    "Cake or death, Wonder Woman? Answer, or a world dies!"

    Ciao

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  21. Leonard Nimoy.

    I was also thinking Paul Newman, but he might be too gravelly for what you're thinking here. What about Michael Ironside? Isn't he the guy that played Darkseid on S:TAS? He might be good.

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  22. Personally I would love to see a scene where Wonder Woman, Steve Trevor, and Etta Candy are at IDC Headquarters or wherever they work out of in the movie, and the intruder alarm goes off. WW runs to the monitor screen and sees Dr. Domino's minions in their dotted sweatshirts storming the place, and cries out for Steve to seal the entrance.

    "Get the door! It's Domino's!"

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  23. So how long before the Dr. Dominoe custom heroclix is posted?

    (Speaking of which, thank god I found someone else with my insane love for the Human Flying Fish -- I commissioned a custom JLU figure of him for me)

    Love the blog!

    Xanadude28@yahoo.com

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  24. Thanks, Xanadude!

    The Dr. Domino custom heroclix already WAS posted: February 28, 2006.

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  25. The Dr. Domino custom heroclix already WAS posted: February 28, 2006.

    Was it really that long ago? Geez, time flies.

    Speaking of which, when's your next custom Clix order, Scipio? With Starman coming out in the Origin set you'll need a Thought Terror and a few Thought Robots!

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  26. I would accept nothing less than the resurrection of Gregory Peck.

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  27. Joan Rivers

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  28. Paxton: interesting suggestion. Good actor.

    Still a little "dry-voiced", I think.

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  29. I think we should save Joan Rivers for Yellow Peri or the Blue Snowman.

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  30. Naw, Ricki Lake as the Blue Snowman. Gotta be!

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  31. Carey Means. The voice of Frylock and Thundercleese. Yes!

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  32. Bruce McCulloch from the Kids in the Hall.

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  33. Moving outside the realm of DCAU voices, I think Jeremy Irons would be pretty terrific.

    Aye, that was my first thought also..

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  34. Ohhh, I like the Rick Moranis sentiment...but sadly he has retired.

    I can't imagine he wouldn't come back for Dr. Domino. I mean... Dr. Domino, man.

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  35. For the record, I prefer David Warner's "Time After Time" co-star Malcolm McDowell as my preferred Voice of Evil, since McDowell gives you a much wilder and icier brand of evil.

    But for the magnificent Dr. Domino?

    1.) Frank Welker doing his Megatron voice - A proper mix of authority, menace, power, but with a hint of loony fanatacism. I like the metallic gravel quality to the voice as well. It seems like there should be something "wet" or scraping about Domino's voice.

    2.) Michael Dorn - Deeper and bassier than Welker, with a pleasing wetness and air of menace. Worf was all about adding a touch of exuberance to the borderline-bland Next Generation crew, and now he could cut loose further. And that laugh--! Surely the man went to Villain Academy as well as Starfleet Academy.

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  36. Alec Baldwin using his villain voice from the Clerks cartoon.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oZIuaBU44s

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  37. Michael Dorn: good idea.

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  38. Side-Show Bob (Kelsey Grammer) knows how to emote a character that is more evil than he looks

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  39. Oh, I can see that now.

    "You...cannot escape...Wonder Woman...for I...am Dr. Domino....rightful ruler...of the world! KHAAAAAAAN!

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  40. Jeffrey Tambor. Wonderful mixture of Dramatic Announcement Guy and Pathetic Blowhard.

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  41. I'm surprised nobody has suggested the obvious. Well, obvious to me, anyway, and I'm probably insane.

    Tony Jay, who voiced Dr. Domino's spiritual cousin, Chairface Chippendale.

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  42. Tony Jay is dead -- that's something of a disqualifier. Otherwise, yes, he would be a perfect choice.

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  43. Um, well, I didn't know that. I guess his death didn't make the news in the way Anna Nicole Smith's did.

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