The Widow-Maker: Batman stuff!

Where were we? Oh, yes...

With her Chinese Vivian Vance in tow, Diana goes to stop to the evil German mechanics, only to find Bruce Wayne kicking their butts. Upon their arrival, Bruce decides to turn down the butt-kicking in order to protect his secret identity. From Wonder Woman and an old blind guy. Sigh.

Batman ... stuff? Batman stuff? BATMAN STUFF?!
Under no circumstances should Batman ever say "Batman stuff".
Not even, "Hey, Alfred, have you seen my Batman stuff?"
Stupid Bronze Age Batman.

Diana and Ching kick some tail, and the evil German mechanics run off, but not before...

Hal? Is that you?

they klok Bruce in the noggin.

Diana and Ching rush Bruce to hospital, where doctors pronounce him unfit to drive because he's received a major Jordan upside the head, which they wrap up so excessively it makes Negative Man look like he's wearing a Snoopy band-aid. So naturally Bruce (pick one):

(A) Withdraws his car from the race;
(B) Arranges for forsenic tests to identify the assailants, thus disqualifying Willi;
(C) Taps a professional driver to race his car, which he should have done in the first place;
(D) Allows Wonder Woman to drive his car in the race, because Princess Grace has arranged for her to get an emergency racing license (royals stick together, apparently).

Ready? It's (E) none of the above. Gosh, you're good at this! What Bruce actually does ... well, I'll let you just see it for yourself:

Yes. Well. Naturally.

At your next geek-party, pose this question for debate:

Which is worse, Jimmy Olsen calling Superman to rid his apartment of cockroaches or Bruce Wayne calling Commissioner Gordon to have Batman fly to Monaco and drive his car in a cross-country autorace the very next day?

Then move the breakables, stand back, and enjoy the fun. It's almost as much fun as nude supergal charades; more on that later.

Miraculously, Batman does show up lickety-split to drive the Wayne Special in the race. Because it's not like he has anything better to do or took a severe blow to the head recently. Diana tries to convince Batman that Willi is dangerous and intends to kill him, but Batman dismisses her concerns like the jackass he is (and needs to be, for the plot to proceed).

"Shut up, Diana, you hysterical female...you're a mere superpowerless woman
and I'm the goddam Batman!"

I wonder whether Batman would be so dismissive of Wonder Woman if she were still wearing her tiara and able to snap him like a twig?

But our girl is determined to help Batman whether he wants it or not (besides, she really wants to be in the race), so she and Ching dash to the Pikachumobile to follow Batman and protect him from Willi.

By the way, do you think a car like the Pikachumobile requires keys to start or does it just start automatically when you jump in and shout "I choose you!"? You think about that question; we'll come back to it later. Less importantly but more interestingly, does the horn go "beep" like a normal car or "Pikachu! Pikachu!" ? The latter, I should hope.

You may ask, why does Willi want to kill Batman? It is just because that's what evil German autoracers who drive cars named "Widow-Macher" do?

No. This time, it's personal. By an entirely unnecessary coincidence, it just so happens that Willi's father was a would-be world dictator whom Batman defeated.

"Hello; my name is Inigo Montoya..."

Of course, Batman defeats would-be world dictators on a weekly basis, so he doesn't remember. Still there's no reason to be so darned rude about it, Bruce...

Nice hat, Bruce.Aren't you glad you remembered to pack it, just in case?

Never before or since has Batman exceeded this particular combination of looking like a total goober while acting like a total jackass. This panel needs to be on a tee shirt. Why do they not sell tee shirts with this kind of Batman stuff on it? Oops; I said "Batman stuff"; sorry.