Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Not Tonight; I Have a Haiku

If you're not enjoying All-Star Batman, why aren't you reading "Batman and The Monster Men"?

It's Matt Wagner's near perfect retelling of Batman's first clash with Hugo Strange. Great insight into all the characters, logical plot developments, fun art. And, after sixtyish years, Julie Madison has finally blossomed as a great character, someone I actually believe young Bruce Wayne would date.

By the way, Bruce Wayne is so cool, that when he denies you a night of passion, he does it politely and in haiku:
I apologize.
I would love to spend the night
in your arms again.


AND he makes you feel good about yourself in the process. That's how it's done.

Remember that the next time you turn down an offer from a sexy and intelligent red-haired heiress who wants you badly.

Meanwhile, care to contribute a relevant haiku of your own on the coolness of Bruce, this situation, or the idea of turning down pouty-lipped Julie Madison to go find gnomish Hugo Strange?

15 comments:

  1. Matt Wagner's Batman
    Drawn beautifully, the writing
    Is damn near perfect.

    Hope that's ok for my first haiku here!

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  2. I don't do Haiku's.
    Honestly I hate Haikus.
    Why make me do this?

    Why do you do this?
    Does a fire inside compel,
    you to make me write?

    It makes me feel like
    a dancing monkey when you
    plead for a haiku.

    Could not tuesday be
    Good-raman-noodle-uesday?
    I would like that more.

    But instead you ask
    for a haiku to be made
    on Wagners Batman.

    First we must go back
    to my first Matt Wagner book.
    Trinity it's called.

    So glorious it
    was that I had to pick it
    up at the comic shop.

    His Batman was great.
    No non-sense, ass kicking great.
    It made me cry, hard.

    I apologize.
    I shall now hopefully make
    a haiku for you.

    Did the last line rhyme?
    "Haiku for you" Hey it did!
    Rolls off the tounge, no?

    Oh! Yeah back to work.
    I must create a haiku
    on Wagners Batman.

    Ah I have one now!
    A haiku worthy to read
    to any comic geek!

    "Screw the Female ilk!
    Bruce likes him some short geinus
    monster making ass."

    AHHHH! Dear lord I am
    So very extremely sorry
    for this insane post.

    This poor little man
    has far to much time on his
    pale zombie like hands.

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  3. Wagner: brilliant
    But there's one question I have:
    Wasn't Strange taller?

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  4. Haven't read it yet.
    I got me a baby boy.
    Can't buy new comics.*

    Ultimately, I'll
    Take "goo" and "da-da" o'er "biff!"
    "Bam!" "Pow!" anyday.

    *except for birthdays & holidays, and the very rare cash influx.

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  5. Congratulations, Mike! I hope little "Kal-El" is doing well...

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  6. Thank you! I should point out that His Royal Highness Emperor Connor Joseph Loughlin the First began his reign almost 13 months ago, so he's not brand new. This was just my first legitimate chance to mention him in context; ah, the power of the haiku!

    My wife rejected Kal-El outright (as well as "She-Hulk" if the baby was a girl). Philistine!

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  7. Batman let Julie
    Sleep over at Wayne Manor
    She must be tired.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It's Matt Wagner's near perfect retelling of Batman's first clash with Hugo Strange.

    I haven't read the new series, but Batman's actual first clash with Hugo Strange didn't involve monster-men. They came along in Batman's second fight with Hugo. Maybe Wagner's series incorporates both stories, I don't know.

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  9. I'd love to love you,
    But I must go like the wind
    To fight goonish thugs.

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  10. Shagging you would be
    great but I have to battle
    a bald lunatic.

    Sorry 'bout your luck!
    You're just not deranged enough
    to see socially.

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  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  12. Poor crazy Hugo
    Growing his giant ape-men.
    He just wants a friend.

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  13. I've had two Feature
    Haikus, Scipio. What now,
    you ask? Disneyland!

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  14. Julie, you're the best
    But I have got to choke a
    Squinty wee bald guy

    ...

    I gots nothin'. Can we do one about Hourman next week?

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  15. "Can I spend the night?"
    "What are you, babe? Retarded?
    I'm goddamn Batman!"

    ReplyDelete