Oh, dear; oh, my.
Ever since her creation by Marston, Wonder Woman has been bursting with symbolism. Well, this scene is a perfect example! Here, artistic license has even been taken with the unicorn's horn: instead of being a sharp spiraled cone with an icicle-like appearance, it's a thick shaft with a tapering head, kind of like a ... a rocket. Yes, it doesn't take a exegetical genius to see what that horn symbolizes:
the writer's pen.
You can feel the writer's struggle here. His metaphorical pen (as represented by the unicorn's horn) stabs toward haiku, poking at the muse of poetry (here personified by Wonder Woman), but missing every time, as the correct meter dodges, avoids, and evades him.
Then Wonder Woman cruelly laughs at his powerless projectile of poetry. "Hola!" she interjects meaninglessly. "You can't capture Wonder Woman with the paltry syllabification of a haiku! It requires pages and pages of paragraph after paragraph of wordy narration boxes: just ask George Perez or Phil Jimenez!"
Sadly, there's no way to parse this sequence's narration into a haiku, although it's so desperately needed to capture the moment!
Can you help out the writer by composing an appropriate haiku about Wonder Woman's successful evasion of the thrusting horn?
Suffering Sappho!
ReplyDeleteWhere are your manners you cad?
Buy me a drink first!
What?! You're hard again?
Take less Viagra next time.
I can barely walk!
Hot damn Diana!
I have never had such great
Foreplay in my life!
The monoceros
ReplyDeletePrefers virgins, so they say
But this cliff will do
She coyly dodges
ReplyDeletethe unicorn's thrusting horn
Great Hera, indeed
I don't understand
ReplyDeleteSuch Freudian comic books.
Why are you laughing?
Thank Hera! I've made
ReplyDeleteThe unicorn capture it-
self! Thud! (Thud echoes)
Giant phalluses,
ReplyDeleteFurry rape attacks, bondage
fantasies, lassos.
Marston must have been
First to write Wonder Woman
erotic fanfic.
I don't get it, man.
ReplyDeleteThis crazy haiku lovefest.
It just hurts my head.
Well that's a surprise.
ReplyDeleteApparently Diana
is NOT a Size Queen.
Like a Minature Matador
ReplyDeleteThe Daring Amazon skirts
Horny Impalement
With Uncanny Speed
She leaps out of the way as
The Horn Penetrates.
(A Unicorn will
Do a Hole in the Wall, and
Can Make it's own Hole.)
So many poems
ReplyDeleteSo few actual haikus
Lines must stand alone
This Wonder Woman #151 cover is kinda Haiku-ey
ReplyDeletehttp://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/277/400/277_4_151.jpg
First from behind me!
ReplyDeleteThen, it's coming towards my face!
Climactic thrust! THUD!
By Hera, that's it?
The unicorn stopped, tired.
I crave more battle!
"This Wonder Woman #151 cover is kinda Haiku-ey: http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/277/400/277_4_151.jpg"
ReplyDeleteWondy One-Five-One:
This was Wonder Girl's first tale?
She didn't exist!
He thrusts it, she ducks
ReplyDeleteDi: thank the gods you haven't
been penetrated.