Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Morrisonian Haiku

You all think I'm crazy, don't know? I hear you whispering about me. But it's true, I tell ya -- writers intentionally have their heroes speak in Heroic Haiku, knowing that, subconsiously, we'll perceive them as more heroic that way. The Dalai Lama told me so.

Besides, you think things like THIS happen accidently?


  • You misunderstand.
  • I'm here to help you with that.
  • Blow the hatch, Quintum!

Courtesy of Grant Morrison in All-Star Superman 1 (thanks to Jeff R for pointing it out).

As we all know, if Grant Morrison posted his grocery shopping list on the internet, within 24 hours fans would have it anagrammed into a subtle social satire on the commercialization of art leading to the commodification of ideas.

So, Morrisonians, what haiku can you compose to explicate or reply to Superman's heroic haiku?
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9 comments:

  1. Des11/22/2005 1:06 AM

    If Morrison wrote
    "The Haunted Tank versus Scrooge
    McDuck" I'd buy it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11/22/2005 4:57 AM

    If anyone wrote "The Haunted Tank versus Scrooge McDuck", it would be a bestseller.
    I think only "Jonah Hex in: Gunfight at Duckburg" would outsell it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11/22/2005 8:26 AM

    Get into Grant's head.
    'Tween Kerouac and Kirby...
    Brain cells sacrificed.

    Left brain shutdown NOW!
    Endless axon/dendrite space!
    Go Hypermadness!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brian11/22/2005 10:47 AM

    Sometimes craziness
    Tells a freaking GREAT story
    Superman, dying?!

    Comic Irony?
    How does a Superman die?
    From Solar O.D.

    Jimmy's fashion sense:
    Orange helmet? Check.
    Matching jet pack? Check. Argyle
    socks? Quick! Call GQ!

    Did anyone else
    Notice that Quintum seems like
    Willy Wonka's clone?

    Luthor says:
    I'm older, he's not
    It's time to get real about
    Killing superman.

    I say:
    I for one won't miss
    The kryptonite robots and
    the super death traps.

    Here's a science fact
    200 quintillion tons?
    Over twice Moon-mass

    Too many haikus...
    Grammar and syntax failing...
    Must...escape...this blog!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shon Richards11/22/2005 1:39 PM

    Superman is now cool
    After years of being dull
    All praise Morrison!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous11/22/2005 3:54 PM

    Superman battles
    The Vicious Mutant Son of
    Violet Beauregard!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous11/22/2005 5:55 PM

    Classic Superman?
    Mounted by a fat purple
    naked pawn of Lex?

    Die Superman! You
    can see I am excited
    by my glowing neon teats.

    Sexual subtext
    of suicidal lovin'
    too hard to pass up

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous11/23/2005 6:28 AM

    Oh, bollocks, it's all
    In Haiku but I didn't
    Quite notice it then

    Nuts to all of that
    Superman is bloody great
    He just does his thing

    That's all I would say
    Someone's already used the
    Goddamn Superman

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hate Filled Poster11/23/2005 11:20 AM

    Sentient sperm flies,
    Morrison is writing this comic,
    Weirdness abounds.

    ReplyDelete