Cool McCool

As long as it's Saturday morning....!

Today I praise Bob Kane's greatest creation and contribution to human society.

What? Bat who? Nope .. never heard of him. Don't be silly; I'm talking about Cool McCool, people! If you don't remember him, read on. If you do, visit his discussion board for emotional support about his absence.

Star of his own cartoon show for three years, Cool was part James Bond, part Maxwell Smart, and part Inspector Gadget. He tended to spoonerize, wore a bright yellow trenchcoat, and was loaded with gadgets, including his moustache radio. Just like his contemporary, Bat-Fink, Cool had two catch-phrases:

"Danger is my business!" and "It'll never happen again, Number One!"

"Number One" was his boss, never fully seen on camera. Cool spent a lot of time apologizing for his mistakes in Number One's office ...

I've never said "Danger is my business", but I've often said, "It'll never happen again, Number One!" My life plan includes marrying the first person who recognizes the phrase when I use it. I'm hoping this post will better my chances of matrimony.

Confusing and creepy to my young mind was the fact that Cool fought a VERY familiar rogue's gallery, which included the Rattler (Copperhead), Jack in the Box (the Joker), Madcap (the Mad Hatter), the Owl (the Penguin) and the Pussycat (the Catwoman). Originality was never Bob's long suit, huh?

He had a, um, cool car: the Coolmobile. And he had a, well, cool theme song:

Ohhhhh Double O. C-double O. C-double O-L. C-double O-L Mc. Cool, Mc Cool. Danger is his business.
The Owl is flying high, frightening to the eye. The Rattler is nearby, Cool is on the fly. Danger is his business.
Madcap's back in town, yeah bought Cool a crown. Boxes are a-poppin', Cool is kept a-hoppin'. Danger is his business.
That's Hurricane Harry, with all the wind he can carry. Oh that cool's the coolest, Danger is my business.

Naturally, the animation is of its day, but it was actually a pretty clever parody. It's available on DVD, but only in British countries, just like Batfink.