Victory is Cold and Dark

Ordinarily I don't brag about my Heroclix victories (on-line anyway) ... because I usually lose. But, because I'm still bitter over losing certain other competitions (damn you, Wangari Maathi, and your trendy, pacifying headwear!), I'll revel in my win at last's night clix table (despite the risk of on-line or real-time retaliation from a noted blogger whom one does not wish to anger).

We played two games to inaugurate the new water and ice map from Xion Studios; no blocking terrain, only six squares of terrain to stealth in, basically a tiny icy shooting gallery. For giggles, I fielded a "Cold and Dark" theme team of villains; Experienced "Please Heal Me with Your Warmth!" Killer Frost, Rookie "Slowly Moving Target" Mr. Freeze, Rookie "Not in the Face!" Obsidian, Rookie "I'll Be Way Over Here" Shade, Rookie "Worst Dial Ever" Penguin.

A fun, but hopeless team, particularly since the other two teams included the likes of the illegal promo Batman from Icons & Veteran Arcane, a "Four Elements" group of Hawkman, Aquaman, Firestorm, and Clayface, a JSA group of Mr. Terrific, Stargirl, Black Canary, Hawkgirl, and the Asian tigers Talia, Ra's Al Ghul, and Lady Shiva.

I won. Twice. I didn't even lose any figures. There are gods, people, and they are evil!

Why did I win? Because my mind channeled the collective genius and expertise of Per Degaton, Vandal Savage, Kanjar Ro, the Ultrahumanite, and all world-conquering DC villains who always lose. That, and nearly constant use of Stealth, Smoke Cloud, and Barrier on a map where hiding was difficult. Best moment? The Penguin clobbering that preening poseur Ra's Al Ghul with a critical hit. I almost called my mother: "What's that, Ma? Your grandchildren have formed a musical group and are appearing on next week's Star Search? That's, um, real cute, Ma, but let me tell you about my Rookie Penguin...!"

Give DC Heroclix a try, gang. It's more fun than you think!