Wednesday, October 09, 2024

In the Ghetto

 I come to praise Absolute Batman, not to bury him.

Absolute Batman, which reads not just like fanfic but fanfic as it's being made up by schoolchildren while on the playground, 

Credit for this insight goes to the clever and charming Casually Comics, who has unintentionally taught me to love the Absolute Universe.

Not that it's that bad in itself, but I weary of a comics shelf overrun by Edgy Elseworlds comics.

I didn't like DC forcing Alfred's fanfic on me in the 1960s.  I certainly don't like the contemporary versions any better.  "Nobody will ever read it." From your mouth to god's ears, Bruce.

I didn't like the elseworld stories in the 1960s, I didn't like 30 years later in the 1990s when the major heroes were replaced by edgy alternative versions of the characters, and I certainly don't like it now 30 years even later, when the comic shelves are now devoted to Elseworlds starring edgy alternative version of the characters.

So, really, I couldn't imagine anything I would like less than a New Universe based on "Bad Darkseid Energy" (BDE, I guess) where all the heroes will have A Tougher Time. But (as Casually Comic kindly explained), this may be the best thing that's happened since Jack Kirby died.

That's not to say that Jack Kirby dying was a good thing.
I'm not a fan of his work, but by all accounts, he was a great guy.

One of the things that is made clear is that there is only one version of Darkseid; he doesn't have multiversal counterparts.  Tired of his CONTINUAL failure to accomplish, well, pretty much anything in the mainstream universe, Darkseid decides to create ANOTHER universe based on his OWN BDE, where he CAN succeed.

Also known as "Gym class".


In short, Darkseid has built HIMSELF into a GHETTO.

I would call it an "Armagetto", but, of course, that would be ridiculous.

A ghetto where I can IGNORE HIM and all his associated silliness.  

And I could not be MORE supportive of that! Long live the Absolute Universe!  

6 comments:

  1. Huh. I haven't bought a new DC comic in .... when did they cancel Scooby Doo Team Up? But (A) I do love a jumping on point. (B) Kelly is writing Wonder Woman, hey, we were part of a blog of a blog together. (C) I have always thought DC continuity was an exercise in futility that actively made comics worse.


    It is tough to imagine there would ever be a good Black Mask story, though. I'm not sure if he's the worst Batman villain or worst villain in comics, ever, period.

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  2. Well, as long as Black Mask is looming large in the *snort* Absolute Universe, that should guarantee his silence in the regular one. I can only pray that the Absolute Universe becomes the lint trap for all crappy concepts and characters, like Black Mask.

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  3. Absolute is a really bad name. Are they cross promoting vodka? I might give it. a try though. I bought issue one of the new Absolute Marvel and the X Men one was way closer to the X Men comic that's been living in my head for 30 years than any mainline X book ever.

    Agreed on Casually Comics. I've been watching a lot of youtube last couple years and she's one of two comics channels that got me to subscribe. Maybe the algorithm is steering me wrong or comics youtube is just kind of.... bad.

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  4. Casually Comics has gotten better over the years. Used to be, she'd misrepresent a story in key ways if it made for a funny telling, and I don't think that's helpful. Like, comics may objectively be the least important thing in the universe, but telling the truth still matters in and of itself.

    Specifically I took offense at her handling of that 90s storyline where Captain America got an illegal street drug in his system (exploding drug lab), and she treated it like it was a big goofball story chock-full of Cap running around like a psycho. And that's just not what the story was about. It was addressing some readers' concerns that Cap was just a steroid junkie, it set a new status quo where Cap didn't have the serum in him, and most importantly spelled out that the serum was not what makes Captain America (except for overcoming Steve Rogers' initially sickly body). Yeah there was one issue (out of the six) that had Cap being nuts, but that was his rock bottom point, not anywhere close to the entire story.

    I don't have a problem with laughing at the goofier moments - hell, it's the only way to be a Hal Jordan fan - but when you misrepresent the story in which those goofier moments happen, you get a scowl from me.

    - HJF1

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  5. "Absolute" is a TERRIBLE name. Not only it's painfully obviously aping Marvel, it's simply a misnomer, since it would imply an "essentialist" approach to the characters, which is exactly NOT what this is. There is throwaway lip-service to Darkseid being an "absolute" entity in the multiverse which is meant to justify the name but it's rather strained.

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  6. Just here to point out to MarkAndrews that while Scooby-Doo Team Up ended, it was replaced by Batman & Scooby-Doo Mysteries which is still running.

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