Friday, March 20, 2015

It's Vartox's world and you just live in it

Oh, there were so many things recently that almost moved me to post here:  the craziness on "The Flash" show, the Batgirl Cover controversy, the reveal of the Composite Superman heroclix dial, Clark coming out to Jimmy....

but, no.  THIS is the thing I could not remain silent on:


Presumably, Connery was not available.

Vartox.

VARTOX

VAR EFFING TOX

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


"VARTOX IS NOT THE SUBJECT OF RIDICULE!"

One can only assume that the silent majority of millions of Vartox fans somehow put aside their vows of silence to demand that their beloved idol finally be given his due on television.

I'll say this for the showrunners: it is, in a way, pure genius.

First, Vartox is superpowerful and a physical challenge for Supergirl, if they fight... withOUT needing to be a Kryptonian.  Not easy to come by.


If only I had superspeed and superreflexes or could fly, so as to avoid his hyperstrength!

Second, Vartox is firmly rooted in the Superman-universe but is NOT a classic Superman villain (such as the Toyman or Metallo).  Nor WOULD he be used in any form in a Superman video-venture.  


You will NOT see this scene in "Man of Steel II". Or "Man of Steel XXII", for that matter.


Third, Vartox is often portrayed as a sort of macho jerk.  That's not a bad foe for a female empowerment figure like Supergirl. 


Vartox also talks like Julius Caesar.

Fourth, Vartox has a separate history with Supergirl-parallel Power Girl.  


It takes balls to shush Power Girl.
Pity he's about to lose them.


Fifth. No matter what they choose to do with him or his backstory, there is NO ONE who will object.  Because no one cares enough about Vartox to do so.


Cary Bates has done many, many things that other humans could not, would not, should not do.
Looking at this and saying "a perfect foe for Superman!" is high on the list.


Sixth.  If they manage to make Vartox cool, or interesting, or fun, or, well, anything other than just Vartox, it will (once again) prove just how good the showrunners  (who also do Flash and Arrow) are.  It's like these people look for the stupidest thing in the mythos they can find just so they can embrace it and raise it as their own child, thus redeeming it (e.g. Multiplex and the Rainbow Raider have already fought the Flash on teevee).  


Captioning this... would be complete overkill.

8 comments:

  1. Agreed. I get down on a lot of things in DC's ongoing creative direction, and initially groaned when I heard that Supergirl was the next show. But every single thing they've released about the show has impressed the heck out of me. Yes, that includes being excited about Calista Flockhart as Cat Grant, which are many words I never thought I'd ever use all in the same sentence.

    Why they don't just hand the entire DCU over to Berlanti and Guggenheim, at this point, I don't know.

    Mind you, I'd still love to see some diversity in title characters (or even anybody who isn't a spunky civilian sidekick), but since DC's idea of a grand gesture on diversity is still "we made the rebooted alternate-universe version of a B-lister gay" (albeit appreciated), I'll settle for Diggle, Cisco, the Wests, the zombie police captain, and Jimmy Underpants.

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  2. Now I'm curious. Did anybody throw out Vartox when you were soliciting potential Supergirl TV villains? Anybody?

    It's just so bug-nuts crazy that it moves out of crazy territory and into genius.

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  3. This... this is either madness or genius... or a little of both. But by god, they had better put him in that outfit!

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  4. "Behold the astonishing abilities of Vartox! Vartox has no need for kneepads!"

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  5. And since Vartox will be the main villain of HARLEY QUINN AND POWER GIRL #1, the timing is perfect. http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/5176098.html

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  6. Sweet Baby Rays, this makes me want to watch Supergirl more than any previous announcement.

    Please use the Power Girl Vol 2 version of Vartox.

    Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

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  7. Guest Starring Burt Reynolds as Vartox, Sr.

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  8. This post just made me realize something.
    Superman (so far as we know) has no Elder Statesman in his Dynasty.

    Except he actually does. Look at Supes saying that Vartox was doing the hero thing when Clark was in diapers. Vartox was Superman's "always somebody better" guy. Vartox is like, one of the five persons in the universe more powerful than silver-age Superman and has a list of powers that makes silver-age superman look like a piker.

    Vartox is the Super Family's Elder Statesman. You heard it here first.

    (I wonder if Vartox has a cute girl cousin... he could even transfer his power to)

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