Shopping! What task could be more mundane, more quotidian for your average American? But THE SHIELD is no average American! And when the Shield goes shopping mischief (and the hideous disfigurement of innocent citizens by their own children) is not far behind! Grab your purses, kids, and head with us downtown as... THE SHIELD GOES SHOPPING!
One day, Joe (the Shield!) Higgins' girlfriend, Betty, is shopping at Stacey's, a thinly disguised analog of a major downtown department store. Any ordinary boyfriend would be traipsing along behind her, carrying her packages. But Joe is smarter than that and has sent his idiot comic relief sidekick, JuJu the G-Man.
Because you're an idiot, JuJu. Besides, just be glad it's a simple slingshot and not, say, a water-pistol filled with acid. Because how horrible would THAT be...?!
Comic relief G-men. Not enough of those in comics today, I say. You know what else there aren't enough of in today's comics....?
DEAD ELEVATOR OPERATORS.
Or live ones, really. Because there are no elevator operators any more. Is it any wonder, given the pay and the obvious dangers?
JuJu, perspicacious FBI agent that he is, solves the case immediately.
And gets kidnapped. Because JuJu's an idiot.
What a crisis! Now Betty has no one to carry her packages! So she calls Joe (the Shield!) Higgins, who, I guess, she figures can get down to basement at Stacey's fastest than the store security guards or, I dunno, the police.
Don't you miss those decades where people sat around in their apartments in suit and tie?
In case you've never noticed it, Betty Warren just does whatever she darned well pleases...
Second-to-last scans: Do I see TWO Betty Warrens? That WARRANts an explanation.
ReplyDeleteBetty Warren Fan Club Member. Lots of 'em back in the day.
ReplyDeleteIt's the incredibly stylish hat. Betty can carry off a rakish fedora like nobody else.
ReplyDeleteThis is fabulous. I'm not sure why Betty even bothered to call for help, since she probably could have taken out the murderers with her own incredible stilettos, but she probably DOES need someone to carry her loot.
ReplyDelete