The United Underworld Strikes!

by Scipio Garling
Gotham City, The Gotham Times
(Multiversal Press Association)

The United Underworld has pulled off the seemingly impossible with an across-the-board attack on the line of Batman titles, leaving three dead and two wounded.

Dan Didio, Grant Morrison, Fabian Nicienza, and Peter Tomasi (see photo at left), have cancelled the Nightwing series, the Robin series, and the Birds of Prey series, all staples of the Batman editorial line. Each of these titles stars one of Batman historically principal in-family allies, Dick "Nightwing" Grayson, Tim "Robin" Drake, and Barbara "Batgirl/Oracle" Gordon.

Meanwhile, in another part of Gotham City, the incomprehensibly puzzling writing of Grant Morrison (see photo at right) has incapacitated the two main Batman titles, Batman and Detective Comics, possible killing their star, and leaving even long-time readers riddled with doubt.

Also crippled by the attack were Batfamily members Spoiler and the Huntress, hard-luck cult favorite Manhunter, women's issues pioneer Zinda Blake, and a host of supporting characters and secondary villains.

Reaction to the attack has been mixed.

"Zis obzezhion vit ze Batman is unhealt'y," opined local psychologist H. Strange (see photo at left). "It is a vise move to cripple ze Batman lines at zis time, particularly as his rezent zinematic zuzesses have led to an overzealous popularity vit zis character among ze masses." Strange posited that the changes may, in fact, be good for the Batman family in the longer run. "Vhatever does not kill, it makes stronger. New birt' comes vit pain. Pain unt zuffering vill make ze Batman strong, even stronger. Pain like ze lashing of ze vhip! Suffering like zat of the characters and readers of All-Star Batman und Robin!"

Another interviewee, who wished to remain anonymous and identified himself only as "a Stranger" to Gotham (see photo at right), voiced the concerns of many. "For years, the Batman and his allies have used darkness as a weapon; but now a greater darkness has descended upon them and upon us all! Seek solace in friends and band together against the lowering storm. I cannot join you, for I must remain.... a stranger. Otherwise, my sexual orientation would become too public."

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